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Marmion Primary Mental Physical Torture

As a 5 year (circa 1971) old at marmion i was subjected to emotional and physical abuse by my grade 1 teacher mrs foss and the principle mr tindale ( remember the cloakroom/ the sports locker). mrs foss was hell bent on destroying me and set a pattern that would continue until mr ensor in grade 7. mr ensor saw that i was not what they said i was( unlike other teachers mrs beaty, mrs segmund, mrs hunter ) by the end of grade 1 the foudation of my wall had been laid. very few people since have been allowed inside my wall and a monumental wall it is. i am now as i was in grade 1 alone, frightened, lost. i handled the physical abuse though it has made me fearful, but the mental torture at the hands of mrs foss and mr tindale has left me damaged. Society holds me responsible for who i am, i was not born this way MARMION created me. cold, distant, fearful. i have loved and lost because i cannot/ do not know how to lose my wall i am trapped within my own defence. i was taught by mrs foss to hate myself to blame myself to fear people to fear love and friendship. i have sought help, cried out for help but nothing can undo what was done in MARMION, you created me now you blame me. i know others have had it much worse and believe me i feel for you all but this is me, this is a mere glimpse of life for me at marmion. FOSS/ TINDALE you damaged me but you did not break me, up yours. A footnote here, later in life as a 20ish year old i was sexually messed with( on more than 1 occasion) by a catholic priest shortly after life saving surgery for a knife wound from an unprovoked assault while i was asleep ( sambo i remember) while in charley gardner hospital, no wonder a bloke is dark on the world. I AMY BE SCREWED UP NOW BUT I AM STILL STANDING. JUST.. LIFE IS TO SHORT GO SURFING, and LEAVE  ONLY YOUR FOOTPRINTS IN THEmarmion SAND BEHIND.

jakdempsey jakdempsey 41-45 2 Responses May 7, 2011

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Glad to see you have stopped shouting! :)

I can't get this wall down on my own, you can only do that from your side, but if I scrape away at the mortar out here we should be able to get a few blocks out ~ so hopefully, while you still feel safe inside, you can at least see out. You might even like what you see! x

You are right, nothing can be done to change the past but we sure can change our future as you are among friends here. You can be yourself here and share those stories with those of us who care about you. We are all screwed up in one way or another but we are good people and reading your profile and story I know there is one good person inside you.



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