My Heart Isn't Ready To Open

I just got out of an abusive relationship. It was the third time I was sent to jail by Him. I can't get out of my depression because of it. He accused me of cheating and I wasn't, after a series of destroying my stuff my dead Mom originally owned, he tried to strangle me. I was too strong for him though. He was extremely mad, when the cops got there my sweater was ripped. He had punched himself in the cheek and told the cops I did it. The city dropped all the charges on me, however, considering the fact that I never touched him. What I can't get over is one question that I have for myself. Why did I laugh at him the entire time he was beating me? Why do I want to go back when I clearly don't? Only the abused can know what I mean by that last statement. I need someone to talk to...my entire being is afraid of being alone now that I am free. It's a liberating and too overwhelming feeling.
jessibel2491 jessibel2491
18-21, F
Dec 15, 2012