No More

My husband did. I left him Monday - I'm scared but I'll live.

It's like the rose tinted glassed have finally come off. He controlled me. He took all my confidence from me (or tried to) and isolated me from people. Always putting me down just so I wouldn't have the confidence to leave him, or upset him - because no one else would want me anyway right? WRONG! Of course others will want me, he hasn't destroyed me that much no matter how he tried. I'm young, I'm a nice person, I can be fun to be around.... I'll move on.

No one has the right to make others feel less than they are worth! NO ONE! Anyone who does this is trying to break you to gain some kind of control over you - and if you really are that worthless then why are they so bothered about controlling you so much??

AWUK AWUK 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 2, 2008

Your Response


my dear i learn about your post, thank you for share the experience of your life, now i know how hard to get married with your not sure of your husband/wife. thank you soo much it is not easy to your situation. im glad that you found happiness.

sorry for my English. hope you understand.

I have some source on how to recover your emotionally and suffer for this molestation now Thy have so many inspirational story i hop that you like it its all about Thinking God I was abused, and even you can share your story too.

My dear friend, I started respecting you for your statesmanship. Don't get scared under any circumstances. You are in the right path and you will surely win the battle. I believe in an age old proverb, which says "cowards die many time before death but valiants never taste the death but once". I deeply believe that every human being is inherently entitled for dignity and respect. You are young, dynamic and courageous. So march ahead my dear friend. You shall definitely overcome the situation. I pray for your all prosperity and happiness in life. I remain as your ep friend. Good bye

I had my husband arrested on Monday for domestic violence. He was in jail for a week. He's out now, but I have a restraining order against him and our child. I have no idea how I'm going to pay the rent (he didn't work much, but the small contribution helped). It's been a long time coming.

He actually told a mutual friend that he had no idea why he had been arrested and was shocked that I hadn't come to visit or phone him while he was in jail...

I'm amazed that he "doesn't know"...

I've been working with our local Family Services group (almost every city in the US has one) who helped me put together my restraining order, and have given my resources for my next steps. If you need help, it's out there, especially in the US.

I'm walking in a fog, but for my child's sake, I have to push forward. You do what you have to do. YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE TREATED INHUMANELY. The cycle has to stop. Leaving is the first step. Good for you! Stay strong.

The hardest part I'm finding is to not give in and let him move back in. He's a good dad, just a really crappy husband. I have to realize that what he shows to our child is making an impression. That's not right.

Family Services suggested a book to me. I managed to pickup a copy. If you have ANY OPPORTUNITY TO GET THIS BOOK, DO SO. It's called "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft. It was written by a male therapist who deals with abusive men. It made me cry, just hearing that he has seen hundreds of cases just like mine (yours too I'm sure). He breaks it down, what kind of abuser you're living with, WHY they think the way they do, and if there's any chance of changing them... (usually not).

If you can't afford the book, get it from the library. It has helped me see that I'm not alone, and that I'm not the crazy (fat, lazy, stupid, ugly, pushy, or fill in whatever he called you on a daily basis) woman he had tried to convince me I was.

I agree with your statement... If I'm so danged terrible, why stay with me???

Mae West had a great saying: "Every man deserves a second chance... With someone else."

It's time to focus on you, and how not to find another like him. That's what I'm working on.

I wish you the best.

Thank MGM :)

I'm glad you moved on and found happiness xx

My first marriage I was mentaly abused, he did excatly what you said, he tried to break my spirit and many times did, however with children I had to pick myself up and make a plan. I left him and it was the best thing I did for that relationship. 7 years of trying to make it work, with him being an alcoholic..

What i did learn thanks to friends that supported me through it all, is that how ever he treated me it was really how he thought he needed to be treated, he projected his image onto me so he would not have to see his ugly truth about himself..

I have re-mrried and married again an now i'm 51 and married to a wonderful man who is everything i needed and ever wante.. Just don't ever giv up on your ideal man because he is out there somewhere wondering where you at and how he can find you...

You did right by yourself and you are accountable for your own happiness no one else, so go make yourself happy girl!