Cursed.

I wish i knew why god chose this body for me. i blame (or acknowledge) god for a lot of other crap in my life. maybe that's not fair but isn't that why he's there. anyway, with all that other stuff i like to think god has a grip on i often wonder if maybe he has some twisted, concealed plan about why he gave me this f*****g body...or maybe its just a sick joke. i'm the girl whose whole identity and self worth thrives on acceptance and love from others and yet that's the one thing i will never have because of this damaged barrier. so that's gotta be a sick joke right? a curse. my body is my curse and one of these days i'm either going to fix it or annihilate it. 99.99% of me already knows which one will come first...