One Pill...all It Took,

Hello. I goy erscribed to adderall a year ago for my focusing problem. I'm on 20 mg Xr. And at first i didn't know you could get addicted to them. I took one every mornign like i was supossed to do every day. Well than came high school and exams came up. Okay so i took one in the morning and one when i got home from school to study. And it heloped me focus. But i started to get really high off of the pill all of a sudden. And than i would be poping three a day, getting more high. Than i bumped up to 30 mg xr. I crush that pill and took it orally with alcohol...my family didnt know that i was hooked on it. And i would crush it up the inside of it than i would take the other one with out crushing orally too. Than i would crush up the third one and snort it too. Well i came up too taking 4 a day. I was a mess. My face started to change, my hair got werid looking, my skin, i got acne. It was really bad, but at the time i still don't care, i'm still doing it..i can't stop taking adderall it makes me feel good. I have tried to stop but the withdrawal are horrible you get really depressed, and anxious, horirble headache, you start to freak out. Your body gets hot and cold flashes, you throw up sometimes. Well at least i did. It was bad. I can;t stop taking it...sometimes i feel great...and sometimes i feel amazing. I love adderall...i got a 90 day perscription..
XxxLaurenBugXxx XxxLaurenBugXxx
13-15, F
1 Response May 19, 2012

I can relate. I came out of rehab for opiate pill abuse (started with Vicodin then moved on to Oxycontin) in April 2011. I was what was called a dual diagnosis (taking meds for anxiety/depression and opiate abuse) and I got crazy anxiety after they took me off most of the meds out of rehab. Went to the doctor and figured that I may have ADHD and needed something to focus. After tests, I got Adderall XR 20 mg in the morning then 10 more mg in the afternoon because I worked late. Well because I could get so much done, I figured that it wasn't that bad even though I knew that I was abusing like I did with the opiates. Looking back, I wanted something else to be on to zone out. I then saw another doctor and got another 40 mg a day. I average 80 to 100mgs a day and don't know when I should stop. I know that it is bad but now, I'm still taking it and have to find another doc since my first one found out about the abuse by checking on their medical computer databa<x>se. All that I can say is that once you FEEL that you NEED it and take more, you are addicted and need help. I know that I will be fighting this lifelong but going to 12 step meetings and eventually rehab again will help. But exploring the underlying factors about my emotions from the past and present, my problematic childhood, and making sure that I find the best doctor for anxiety/depression, and having a therapist will open the doors to recovery. I know that I either have to find a time to quit or I will hit bottom albeit I'm finding every way to maintain and pretty damn successful about it. I know that the drugs will win and that I'm just delaying the inevitable. Even though I know all of this, I'm still using and that is how insidious drug addiction is. I wish you the best of luck because it will be tough. You can do it.