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Adderall.. And Eating Disorder.

Adderall and eating disorder... Worst combination. It feeds it. If anyone knows about eating disorders you know about the voices you get even thinking about food. Adderall helps me forget. It kills my appetite which silences the voice of an eating disorder. Not only does it kill my appetite , it gives me the energy from not eating . It makes me feel perfect . Because I'm not eating. I need out of this miss because trying to be perfect in my eyes is killing me. Not on adderall I get so hungry. I hate it. So I eat. Then I eat to much and feel guilty so I make myself sick. I feel like there is no way out. I look at food as the enemy and adderall is my best friend. Makes me feel flawless. I went to the hospital for 8 days 2 months ago for mental help and detox . I relapsed on a month of being clean. What I found out in the hospital from not eating from the adderall and eating disorder. My bowel functions where that of a 3 years old and I'm 23. I had to be on 6 laxatives a day to have a bowel movement . My liver function low. My stomach wasn't digesting food correctly. And all that triggered my relapse ? Knowing the fact I couldn't be a size 2 anymore. And I know I don't look healthy at a size 2 . In 11 days I'm going to a 90 day treatment center. Because I have no control. This is the hardest thing I've done. I just can't live like this anymore .
Stephmusic Stephmusic 22-25 2 Responses May 10, 2013

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Oh girl, my heart goes out to you. You are so brave for doing this! More so than I and i am & yrs older than you.

How much adderall did you take daily that messed up your bowels and liver so? I am very afraid of what my addy abuse has done to my body.

Steph, You can do this. It is hard, no doubt, but allow yourself the time necessary to get better. You'll be great in no-time. THose first few days at treatment, you will need rest and might get anxious, but those are just the side effects, no you. Breath and just put on foot in front of the other, each day it gets better. Hugs, Jenny