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Adderall Addiction

I am addicted to Adderall. I am a drug addict & 26-year old male who is hopelessly addicted to our little round, or football- shaped, 30mg orange friends. AND LOVIN' IT!!!!

Now wait just a minute before you criticize.....

While on Adderall (of which I've been prescribed for the past 4-5 years), I have had no desire whatsoever to delve into my past vices (marijuana, heroin, prescription painkillers,  to name a few). I FEEL TOO GOOD, and don't want to ruin that by going back there!

You're probably thinking, "Is this guy f*cking serious? What kind of irrationalization is that? Replacing one drug for another? What a nutcase!!".

Well my dextro-amph-combo-addicted friends and Addy Babies alike, that would be an incorrect assumption, and I'll tell you why: I feel that if a drug has more positive than negative effects in the user's life (which, obviously, is the case with me and Adderall), then there is nothing at all wrong with taking it. Keep in mind, however, that drugs effect everyone in different ways. Case in point: I have numerous friends who take Addy (let's call them my "Addy Family"), of which very few I (among many other experienced, credible sources) feel should actually be prescribed it. I know Adderall like the back of my hand. I have seen more than a few people lose control and go way too far when abusing, or even simply taking as prescribed, Adderall.

Perhaps I am insane. Perhaps it's just my ADHD speaking. Perhaps my words are as illogical as bringing a roasted pig to an Islamic picnic. But then again, perhaps not!

Kleen Kleen 26-30, M 40 Responses Nov 21, 2007

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I totally agree that I <3<3<3 ADDERALL. I need it. Im prescribed to it. It helps me function through everyday life. I dont over abuse it but at times I take more than prescribed to me. Im prescribed to 20mg 3x a day. It helps me. It makes me feel good and a nicer person. It also makes me concentrate on everything. All these people who are saying that it ruined there lives obviously they had bigger probs then just addys. So if yall are gonna criticize me for what I've said then go for it because Im not an adderall abuser. Im prescribed to what I take.

I so agree with you and I read a lot of the comments you received and can't believe I've been
at on of those places or other forever! Ritalin sucks but it helps. I just wish it did not make me so blase' about everthing. Seems it's taken my getting it done, only to find it on my list
weeks later because I haven't gotten to it just yet...
Take care and to those who commented I wish the best for you- If any of you are like me you can take all the cheer you can get! (And I know sometimes you want everyone to take a hike!)

Yes, it's the drug talking. No one who is addicted to adderall can be relied upon to think rationally, accept rsponsibility, to tell the truth, to live normally, to have self respect, or to make their lives meaningful for others. This is a nasty, life-threatening addiction, and the consequences can include death.
Please wake up before it's too late.

Could not agree more - my wife or should I say soon to be ex-wife had the same arguement. why should I stop when it makes me feel SO GOOD. Yes so good that you lied to yourself about reality, about how your addiction affected anyone around you, about how responsible you are, about your affairs, about your health, about how much you were taking, about how much you were spending on them. I can go on forever.

My son was addicted to Adderall and the outcome was not good. He overdosed on Nov 21, 2010. I did not know that this was a problem with him till it was too late. I could not figure out what was making him act the way he did. Very aggressive and the lies were crazy. One minute his car was stole the next it broke down. He was extremely paranoid. This is a very bad drug and the side effects can kill you. I would give anything to have my son back and wish I had knowed more about this drug earlier.

I kinda disagree with a lot of people on this subject. I'm 20 and I don't go to school but I work full time. In high school some friends would give me an addi from time to time and I would only take it cause I thought it was cool. I don't go to college mainly because my grades were ****** and I couldn't afford it. However I think adderall would have fixed one of my problems. Today I take any where from 5mg to 20mg a day, but only at work. I don't feel addicted to it, so I don't consider my self addicted. I understand there will come a day where I can no longer obtain this drug. Thats life. I know I sound like an addict but there's reasons for my using of the drug. I'll admit for the past couple months I was feeling depressed, due to my now ex gf and former best friend completely leaving my life for reasons I won't bother saying. I smoke weed regularly and drink probably more times than I should, although I don't drink large amounts. Adderall for me is helping me. At least for now. I have noticed that feeling like your body is tired as hell but your wide awake. I don't think it's harming me. I still go to bed around 11 or 12 and wake up at 6am for work. At 6 am I eat breakfast and pop my adderall for the day. Lately I've been taking 20mg xr's. They keep me focused at work and more importantly they give me energy. I have a very poor diet and I always have. It's something I'm learning to fix. My lack of good nutrition leaves me tired and lazy. I've tried coffee I've tried multivitamins I've tried st johns wort and none of those things can make me feel good. Perhaps its not just poor diet, whos to say im not messed up in the head. :P i don't particularly LIKE the fact that I do take adderall every day when it's available, but so far after a couple of months of regular use, I haven't seen any reason to stop. Despite my bad grades in school I am actually quite intelligent, which is the only reason I ever came across this web page. I was wondering if there were any harmful side effects, more harmful than anything I've noticed. I'm going to continue to take adderall because since I have my work has improved, I'm pushing myself to better my life, Ive thought about applying to community colleges, I've gotten a gym membership, im saving more money than ever before. Socially I don't see any negative affects. Sometimes I really feel like talking to people, sometimes I feel like I wanna be alone in a field with a rake and a glass of lemonade. I'll take either of those things over the drowsy always grumpy and half asleep person that I am when I'm not on this drug.

If I wasn't on adderall right now i wouldn't have written anything and instead id probably be sleeping or trying to write about it. Adderall has helped me. If you use it as its meant to be used and not as a recreational drug, you should be ok. Never take more than 30mg. I never have and I never will. I don't even wanna know what that would feel like. I'd imagine it's like rolling on ecstasy, which is something I actually felt myself becoming addicted to in the past and stopped. If you feel the need to use adderall just use it like you'd use Tums or Vicks, and that's to not overdo it and if you can find some moderation and understand that you don't need it but simply think its a positive boost in your life than your fine.

I have been off of Adderall (20mg 4 a day) for 28 days and I cannot tell you how much better I feel. I was prescribed Adderall 12yrs ago and I believe that I was sucked into a life of illusions. One of those illusions being that Adderall made me feel better....this is an illusion that I am now able to see and it has taken a long time to see it. Another illusion was that I could get so much done... Yes, I stayed up many a nights pacing around in circles and not really getting anything really accomplished. I THOUGHT I loved Adderall and that I needed it...it was prescribed I would tell myself. I hope that I never again take even one ..... for me, looking back, it was an evil entity that invaded and took over my life. I was very short tempered, had high blood pressure, worked all night, never saw my children or my husband....."I" was not there. Please think twice before you start taking Adderall....please.....and DON'T think twice about stopping. Get help if you need it. I started attending a 12 Step program and it has been a great source of help for me!

Would love to know what you went through the first few weeks. Been on it for 4 years and I'm ready to quit....need my life back even though I thought it gave me life... Chronic fatigue is why I started and is why I'm having trouble stopping.... But I'm worse on it now

I am 17 years old. I was addicted to pain killers and nerve pills for 4 years, i was clean for 3 months and about to fall apart...and i took my first adderall it made everything better...i was so much happier and still am...and in all honesty i could care less i know im an addict and i wouldnt change it it is apart of me and my story...anybody who has anything negative to say keep it to your self...you never know what got that person to taking their first pill that made them an addict...

This is a typical selfish addict talking. I have heard it all before - keep your negativity to yourself. Only tell me positives even if my behavior and thought process is sick.

What I know is that there is a void in your life that cannot be filled by drugs. Drugs taken in the appropriate frame of mind are a wonderful things and can provide all of the benefits they were developed to offer. If they are being taken to ease pain, fill a void, make life better, more meaingful then I argue you have potential for abuse.

what are your options? Understand that you are loved by God and that he and only he can offer you the peace and grace you are looking for.

I am an Aderall/Vyvance abuser for about 4 years now. It started my sophomore year of high school when my friend was prescribed Aderall but he did not like the feeling so he gave me a tube of 90 for free. From that tube I became extremely addicted taking up to 6 or 7 20mg tablets at a time. This went on for a couple years and I lost my connection with my friend for his Aderall so I started taking unused Vyvance from my mom. Once I had lost all connections to Aderall I became sober from it for a few months. The side effects from taking so much to none at all had a significant impact on my focusing and coping abilities. My parents were completely oblivious to my addiction so when they started to notice I was having focusing issues they took me to a psychiatrist which prescribed me Vyvance 20mg. Of course I can't tell my parents I used to be addicted, so now everyday I have a bottle of Vyvance staring me in the face. Aderall is the only drug that I never want to take but I can't help taking it. It is a constant battle for sobriety or satisfaction. I took one Vyvance the other day and I could feel all my sobriety collapsing in on itself, almost like a familiar darkness taking over again. I want to tell my parents I don't like the effects so that I won't have to take it anymore but it's obviously not as simple as that with a strong addiction. I'm not an alcoholic, nor hard drug abuser I really only smoke weed and cigarettes but sometimes this addiction makes me feel like a second class human being. If someone has any suggestions about how I can break this under the situation I'm in it would be appreciated.

My sisters took there addi for 4 years. One is currently trying to get of it the other is still on it. They went to a rich privete school were this stuff was every where.They acquired them illegaly so we had no idea for 2 years. They graduated with a 4.0. The third year they got pairanoid, shooe swingy, and started stealing money to fund a manic drug and shopping habit. There drug dealers were selling them pills at 500 dollars a pill at there lowest point, they also got a presc<x>ription, and stole pills. They Eventualy got caught and went really nuts. Why there are worse addictions, addi is addictive.

HAHA, I really do hope this a joke. As a recovering addict, I personally know it makes absolutely NO difference what type of drug you are hooked on, it's the fact you depend on a chemical to live your life. What if one day they illegalize these pills? What if one day your doctor/pharmacy catches on? What if one day your life comes crashing down all because of this harmless little pill? It will, I promise. It's not only happened to me, but MANY other unfortunate people.

Hi DanVan. I’m disappointed with your comments. After all, you’re a “recovering addict”. Aren’t you? You, more than most, should know that there is no reasoning with an addict. A person suffering from chemical dependency cannot and will not rationalize the idea of a life without drugs. By telling them they’re not helping themselves isn’t, in it self-helpful. There comes a time, in every addicts life when they decide they need help. We should be offering one another supportive, helpful ideas so that they will decide it’s time to quit. So let’s share our experiences so that others may benefit from them. In fact, I’ll share an idea with you now. You are NOT a “recovering addict” you are DanVan. A man that God himself, created in his own image. He made us fallible, gave us free will, love, compassion and most important; the ability to forgive. Not only to forgive others, but so that we could forgive ourselves as well. You and I made similar mistakes in the past. We learned from those mistakes. We don’t abuse drugs anymore. So why not forgive ourselves? There is no need to continue punishing ourselves forever. After all, even prisoners, who may have committed heinous acts get to leave prison as an, “Ex-Con”. I am not a recovering addict; I am a man, with a name. Who am I you ask? My name is Mike and I didn’t let prescription painkillers beat me… I beat them.

Each an every one of us have the strength to rid ourselves of drug addiction. All it takes is the courage to ask for help. May God bless you and may he guide you on the path to becoming an former drug addict.

Mike - God bless you for your post. Any and all suggestions to folks who are addicted or might be wondering if they are i support. I also support providing a "mirror" for some of these folks. In my experience many who are questioning their actions have difficulty looking in the mirror honestly. Offering a safe and compassionate alternative is huge.

I agree to the highest point addictions will reveal themselves envitably and when they do you'll be looking like ten pounds of **** in a five pound bag first hand experience here pal

Adderall is not a good drug. Its like stealing motivation, concentration and energy all focused into one bit of time and makes another (and much larger) part of time really ******. The human brain and body was not meant to work over extended periods of time under the flight/fight response. That was meant for the occasional circumstances in which we had to run from the tiger or dodge a bullet....Its seems so crazy to me that doctors actually think its okay to prescribe this to so many people and have them work and feel this way on a regular basis. Yes, it is tempting to take but even under the prescribed dose for most people it makes you tolerant to the good effect of the drug very quickly and increases the ****** part of the drug (not only when coming down but also when "high" on it). It makes you irritable, panicky, focus on "unimportant things", agitated and appear very anxious and agitated to those around you. It makes other people usually like you less. Makes you depressed, perseverate, worry, bad skin, hair falls out, acne, insomnia, anorexia....It also makes you miss the opportunity in life to work through difficult issues and exercise your brain so that it learns how to focus and stay strong without the drug. Using the drug (like most drugs) are great in the short term because it gives you a jolt of what you want...energy, focus, concentration, a good work out, a ton of work done...but then you pay. You pay because you pay with your health (anything that gives you chest pain, palpitations, acne, anxiety, insomnia and loss of appetite cant be a good thing) and you pay with your ability to interact compassionately with others and with yourself. Stay away from it. Be good to yourself.

Adderall is not a good drug. Its like stealing motivation, concentration and energy all focused into one bit of time and makes another (and much larger) part of time really ******. The human brain and body was not meant to work over extended periods of time under the flight/fight response. That was meant for the occasional circumstances in which we had to run from the tiger or dodge a bullet....Its seems so crazy to me that doctors actually think its okay to prescribe this to so many people and have them work and feel this way on a regular basis. Yes, it is tempting to take but even under the prescribed dose for most people it makes you tolerant of the good effect of the drug very quickly and increases the ****** part of the drug (not only when coming down but also when "high" on it). It makes you irritable, panicky, focus on "unimportant things", agitated and appear very anxious and agitated to those around you. It makes other people usually like you less. Makes you depressed, perseverate, worry, bad skin, hair falls out, acne, insomnia, anorexia....It also makes you miss the opportunity in life to work through difficult issues and exercise your brain so that it learns how to focus and stay strong without the drug. Using the drug (like most drugs) are great in the short term because it gives you a jolt of what you want...energy, focus, concentration, a good work out, a ton of work done...but then you pay. You pay because you pay with your health (anything that gives you chest pain, palpitations, acne, anxiety, insomnia and loss of appetite cant be a good thing) and you pay with your ability to interact compassionately with others and with yourself. Stay away from it. Be good to yourself.

damn well if its working out for ya, more power to ya~ I was taking consistent doses of adderall for 8+ yrs and **** just got outta control... that said, I have returned to the drugs bc I cant function without it :/ I wonder what I would be like had I learned to deal with my ADHD symptoms without meds... can't cope with out my adderall. sall I know.

I'm stuck between, "Is this bad for me?" and "What does it matter? I'm so much more productive since I started." Someone tell me, how much is even really known about this drug? I've been taking it now for over 2 years. Its prescribed to me for ADD. I'll admit, at first, I abused it. I took more than was prescribed, and I would run out at the end of the month. I'd sleep for over 24 hours sometimes and eat so much, compensating the lack of sleep and food from the weeks before. I once went 4 days without sleep. 4 days without food. I felt great, so what did it matter? I ended up in the hospital twice that year for blacking out. I knew it was bad, what I was doing. My lack of care to keep myself healthy. This past year and a half, I've made sure to remind myself to at least eat. I also now only take the prescribed dosage, but to keep myself from becoming tolerant, I purposefully go off of it for a few days each month. It really makes me feel so terrible. Physical fatigue, emotional stress, depression, lack of motivation, etc. I hold out as long as I can, then start taking it again. All 3 doctors I've ha d told me that it's fine, what I'm doing, going off of it every so often. I wish I didn't need it at this point. You don't know me, so I'm trusting you to believe me when I say, I'm a very ambitious person. I'm not lazy by any means. I'm not a thief or a liar. The adderall didn't change my morals. I'm just dependant on it now. I know I am. I can't imagine my life without it. That terrifies me. Knowing that a DRUG controls my energy levels, let alone my happiness! I am a big believer that happiness has nothing to do with outward circumstance, but listen. This is very psychological. I try to get everyday life things done while I'm off of the addy. I don't have a choice, its my life. The attention Deficit Disorder was heavy before the Addy. I, like many of you I'm sure, had the symptoms. Unable to concentrate, focus. Mistaken by many as lazy. No, I am/was not ever lazy. I had a problem with remembering certain things. This drug helpped me so much. It really changed my life. I was finally able to focus and use that focus to finish projects in life. It was like a blue print in my brain, guiding my thoughts and ideas together to GET THINGS DONE. Finally :) No confusion, no loss of words, and eventually, my stress went away because I was ahead of the game. Never worried about late payments, missed appointments, or finishing work tasks. It really is so wonderful, but is it worth it? For some reason, what if someday, I can't access it anymore? Then what? Am I just screwed? I don't want to be dependant on this. Help me if you know anything else please? On stopping without so much negative effect.

I manage to pull my addiction off, and make people think its just an occasional thing. My wife is prescribed 30mg tablets. I take 4-5 at once, actually overdosed this year. I've become so reliant on the drug, coping with my stress, financial issues, my family problems, legal trouble, finding a job with a felony, not being able to look at my wife and daughter every time we go out without being ashamed that its always her spending all her money, and I cant give them what they desserve. Always having mood swings, and withdraws, my wife just lays into me and says terrible things because of the way I act, but she just doesnt realize how addicted I really am and that everytime she says these things and confronts me for taking more behind her back, while her family listens upstairs, I just feel so helpless and ashamed of myself. I just want help so bad. But Im to ashamed to tell them, and I don't think she would stop her persc<x>ription for me, and I dont want to see that my own wife is supplying my addiction and doesnt have enough care to give up something she can go without, and possibly save my life. I overdosed once this year, took 8 and my heart actually stoped. I convinced them all it was an accident but it wasnt, I really thought nothing of it was convinced I could handle it. I NEED HELP it terrifies me that I can overdose and die but still be so addicted. My name is Paul and adderal has consumed my life. If th

I manage to pull my addiction off, and make people think its just an occasional thing. My wife is prescribed 30mg tablets. I take 4-5 at once, actually overdosed this year. I've become so reliant on the drug, coping with my stress, financial issues, my family problems, legal trouble, finding a job with a felony, not being able to look at my wife and daughter every time we go out without being ashamed that its always her spending all her money, and I cant give them what they desserve. Always having mood swings, and withdraws, my wife just lays into me and says terrible things because of the way I act, but she just doesnt realize how addicted I really am and that everytime she says these things and confronts me for taking more behind her back, while her family listens upstairs, I just feel so helpless and ashamed of myself. I just want help so bad. But Im to ashamed to tell them, and I don't think she would stop her persc<x>ription for me, and I dont want to see that my own wife is supplying my addiction and doesnt have enough care to give up something she can go without, and possibly save my life. I overdosed once this year, took 8 and my heart actually stoped. I convinced them all it was an accident but it wasnt, I really thought nothing of it was convinced I could handle it. I NEED HELP it terrifies me that I can overdose and die but still be so addicted. My name is Paul and adderal has consumed my life. If there

There is help. I promise you there is. However, it begins with the thing all addicts fear most. That is asking for your families help. Don't tell them YOU have a problem. Let them know, that you need THEIR support. They can't help you get off the drugs. What they can do is provide with support and logical, loving advice that will benefit your entire family. I say logical because when you're high, you're not thinking straight. No matter how logical your ideas for recovery may seem to be. They most likely aren't. You tell yourself you can slowly cut back, but there is always an excuse... "I feel really tired today. I'm just gonna take one extra today. Last time! Tomorrow I start cutting back"... My personal favorite, that always seemed like a great idea at the time, was to tell myself... "I'll take my four remaining pills now. Then I can get my work done for the next few days. That way I won't have to work while in withdrawal. I'll quit after this last dose..."

I hope this is making some sense and not just the ramblings of a mad man. It's difficult to communicate, and put into words, the thought processes of an addict. I just want you to know that I was there. I felt helpless. Alone. Guess what? I was wrong. There is help, plenty of help out there. It all starts with asking for help. You may think you're hiding your addiction from your family. Odds are, they know. They've known since you started using. After all, your wife is providing the drugs.

If you haven't gotten help yet. You can call (888) 858-5709. They specialize in Adderall dependency. It's a private company that can help you find someone in your area that will help you. It's anonymous. You don't give any personal information until you're ready to.

Good luck

I really appreciate your willingness to put your fear and personal challenges out there. I understand exactly what you are saying and I can say that your description of the struggles you face daily with your life and family are undoubtedly helping others to feel that they are not alone. It sounds like you are so afraid of the consequences of being honest with those you love the most that the choice to continue using is fueled by, not only, the fear of withdrawl, but also the possibility of losing everything you value. This is a terrible place to be. The challenge of overcoming addiction is hard enough...compounding that with a multitude of other possible punishments makes finding the strength to do what you know is best for your mind and body look impossible. As Portugeestud expressed in the previous response you are not alone and there is support. Thank you for your post.

You saying you're loving it. I give you one year, when your dopamine is finally shot. Like mine now is from "loving it". Deep down inside you hate the drug, but you just can't get off it. So I guess saying you love it is a way of hiding the fact that it's killing slowly!! If you think I don't know what I am talking about, take a moment please and read my latest post. God Bless you.

Oh I love it...But I hate it!

I do not use adderall. I live with two people who do. Let me tell you what it's like from the perspective of someone who is on the other end and then give you my take on what to do. I'm not a doctor or a psychologist, just a person who feels trapped and lonely and terrified most of the time because I can't seem to bring myself to leave and let the people in my life to their own devices. My mother in law moved in with my husband and I about 7 years ago. She was highly addicted to adderall, which was prescribed to her for ADD, by her Psych. She would stay up for a weak at a time and start hearing voices, she would pilfer through my things and steal things. She would go on shopping binges. Then, when she would run out of Ad. she would sleep for a week or two. I lost my mind after she spilled her pills out of her pocket in my toddler's room and kicked her out of my house. She still has not forgiven me for that--(I roll my eyes as I say this.) Since then, I have been in 12 step programs for my codependency. My husband also has a problem with substance abuse, although the substance changes, the effects on family are the same. <br />
My husband and my lifestyle had seemed to level out and things were going well, so I agreed to let her move back in. She is physically disabled with fibromyalgia, and claims she can't live on her own. This I am questioning more and more, because although I don't question her physical diagnoses, I question her motives. She sure does a whole lot of physical and completely unimportant bull-**** while she's taking her adderall. So, here's the deal: I have BEGGED, PLEADED, SCREAMED, MOVED OUT, told her I would kick her out again, bla bla bla. and nothing. The woman spends days on end in her room rearranging small pieces of paper and only comes out to talk about random bull-**** that I could care less about--like the small pieces of paper. I know in two weeks she will have another doctor's appointment and she will run out and be in bed for a week. My husband meantime lied to me about the adderall for a whole year! I just thought she was f---ing crazy. So, he lied so he could take it too without my knowledge--she gives him bits and pieces here and there. He was also diagnosed and prescribed it in the past, so uses this fact as a reason to say it's ok for him to take HER meds, because that's was a doctor would prescribe him. I ******* hate my life here in this house. I have realized that nothing I do or say matters to them--because the way that these drugs make them feel is more valuable to them than human relationships are. My MIL actually had the nerve after a severe incident in which my husband everything but physically battered me, to come and say that the reason she was so depressed was because nobody hugged her. THIS IS WHAT THIS DRUG DOES: it makes you completely immune to the concerns of others. You think it's going to motivate you to get the important stuff done, but it doesn't. It only makes you hyper-focus on the things that don't matter, meanwhile destroying the affection people once had for you. THE SOLUTION: realize pain has a purpose. We cannot avoid all pain. Depression is a form of pain. If the pain you feel from the loss of friendship and genuine affection and admiration from others is worth the elation that adderall affords you, then continue---but know, you WILL lose everything. Not only that, you are not smart enough to outwit the system that will someday stop supplying you when it figures you out. My MIL hasn't found her Addies yet ( her adderall friends.) But imagine what she will do when I announce I will no longer drive her to her doctor's appointments. She'll find a way, I know. I used to love her. I used to like being around her. Now I loathe her. When she comes around me my stomache churns. When she talks I want to throw up. I can't look her in the face because of the glazed over, frantic look in her eyes. I can't watch her drink because of the way she dumps the water down her throat, spilling it all over herself and then wipes the sweat from her upper lip and forehead. I can't stand to go anywhere with her because she knocks things over, buys a bunch of crap she doesn't need and then asks me to later take back half of it, because in her uncoordinated state she either broke it or realized it wasn't worth a damn. I have a healthy mind, a healthy body, friends, a great life outside this house. My home is a hell-hole because of addiction. Please, realize the insanity you are causing others. If you haven't started, don't. If you are tired, your body is telling you to heed that pain in a healthy way. If you are already doing it, please embrace the pain that leads to a better life, and stop. If you don't want to stop, tell the people you have a shred of love for to stay away from you because you don't plan on stopping and they are fighting a losing battle. Tell them to go to Alanon and stay away from you because you will only drive them insane.

I do not use adderall. I live with two people who do. Let me tell you what it's like from the perspective of someone who is on the other end and then give you my take on what to do. I'm not a doctor or a psychologist, just a person who feels trapped and lonely and terrified most of the time because I can't seem to bring myself to leave and let the people in my life to their own devices. My mother in law moved in with my husband and I about 7 years ago. She was highly addicted to adderall, which was prescribed to her for ADD, by her Psych. She would stay up for a weak at a time and start hearing voices, she would pilfer through my things and steal things. She would go on shopping binges. Then, when she would run out of Ad. she would sleep for a week or two. I lost my mind after she spilled her pills out of her pocket in my toddler's room and kicked her out of my house. She still has not forgiven me for that--(I roll my eyes as I say this.) Since then, I have been in 12 step programs for my codependency. My husband also has a problem with substance abuse, although the substance changes, the effects on family are the same. <br />
My husband and my lifestyle had seemed to level out and things were going well, so I agreed to let her move back in. She is physically disabled with fibromyalgia, and claims she can't live on her own. This I am questioning more and more, because although I don't question her physical diagnoses, I question her motives. She sure does a whole lot of physical and completely unimportant bull-**** while she's taking her adderall. So, here's the deal: I have BEGGED, PLEADED, SCREAMED, MOVED OUT, told her I would kick her out again, bla bla bla. and nothing. The woman spends days on end in her room rearranging small pieces of paper and only comes out to talk about random bull-**** that I could care less about--like the small pieces of paper. I know in two weeks she will have another doctor's appointment and she will run out and be in bed for a week. My husband meantime lied to me about the adderall for a whole year! I just thought she was f---ing crazy. So, he lied so he could take it too without my knowledge--she gives him bits and pieces here and there. He was also diagnosed and prescribed it in the past, so uses this fact as a reason to say it's ok for him to take HER meds, because that's was a doctor would prescribe him. I ******* hate my life here in this house. I have realized that nothing I do or say matters to them--because the way that these drugs make them feel is more valuable to them than human relationships are. My MIL actually had the nerve after a severe incident in which my husband everything but physically battered me, to come and say that the reason she was so depressed was because nobody hugged her. THIS IS WHAT THIS DRUG DOES: it makes you completely immune to the concerns of others. You think it's going to motivate you to get the important stuff done, but it doesn't. It only makes you hyper-focus on the things that don't matter, meanwhile destroying the affection people once had for you. THE SOLUTION: realize pain has a purpose. We cannot avoid all pain. Depression is a form of pain. If the pain you feel from the loss of friendship and genuine affection and admiration from others is worth the elation that adderall affords you, then continue---but know, you WILL lose everything. Not only that, you are not smart enough to outwit the system that will someday stop supplying you when it figures you out. My MIL hasn't found her Addies yet ( her adderall friends.) But imagine what she will do when I announce I will no longer drive her to her doctor's appointments. She'll find a way, I know. I used to love her. I used to like being around her. Now I loathe her. When she comes around me my stomache churns. When she talks I want to throw up. I can't look her in the face because of the glazed over, frantic look in her eyes. I can't watch her drink because of the way she dumps the water down her throat, spilling it all over herself and then wipes the sweat from her upper lip and forehead. I can't stand to go anywhere with her because she knocks things over, buys a bunch of crap she doesn't need and then asks me to later take back half of it, because in her uncoordinated state she either broke it or realized it wasn't worth a damn. I have a healthy mind, a healthy body, friends, a great life outside this house. My home is a hell-hole because of addiction. Please, realize the insanity you are causing others. If you haven't started, don't. If you are tired, your body is telling you to heed that pain in a healthy way. If you are already doing it, please embrace the pain that leads to a better life, and stop. If you don't want to stop, tell the people you have a shred of love for to stay away from you because you don't plan on stopping and they are fighting a losing battle. Tell them to go to Alanon and stay away from you because you will only drive them insane.

First of all, I only read the first 3 comments to this topic. I agree with all of them to a certain extent. Personally, I have been on adderall for 8 years now and I'm only 22. When I was first prescribed to it for focus in school, I was given 30 20mg XR capsules a month. I am now prescribed to 4 20mg RX tablets a month, and each month I end up short with about 10 days to go. The first drug that I ever tried was the first adderall that was prescribed to me. Before that, I prided myself on being "straight-edge." The first few years on adderall I was neither ashamed of it nor did I abuse it. But about a year after being on it I started smoking pot everyday, which lasted about 3 years, and continued up until about 6 months ago (but was only everyday, as was the adderall, for 3 years). The pot is what I believe led me to try cocaine (which lasted a year or so, but was never everyday), which led to ecstacy (which was even less frequent), which led me to try crack a few times, which then led to heroine a couple times as well. I'm not blaming adderall for my choices but I will say that I am frightened at my addiction to it today. Not just to adderall, but my new thing which has been going on for about 3 years now at an ever-increasing rate is my addiction to the combination of adderall and alcohol (preferably beer and whiskey), to counteract the crash. For a while I tried Benzodiazepines and various presc<x>ription-strength sleeping pills, but alcohol just makes the crash non-existent, rather than just less intense. I take up to 100-200mg of adderall and at least 20 beers along with 6-8 shots of whiskey. I want to kick the habit but life without these beautiful orange pills seems literally impossible. I'm hoping that SOMEONE, ANYONE, has some advice for me on kicking the pills.

IV Neurotransmitter Restoration Therapy saved me from adderall, alcohol and lortab addiction. I went to the Aminokit Labs in Denver

From one ADD person to another, what are we supposed to do?? Without medication , I stay highly focused on one thing and that's all, it's all that counts, but oh yeah, that was that other thing . All of a sudden I had no idea why I wasted so much time on the thing threw aside. Anew thing will pop up and if it gets my attention, which is not easy, since I have the attention span of a gnat, I will zero on that "new thing', but oh hell that was a while back too. I hate ritalin for making me see life as it is, (unless I'm asleep) and I do a lot of that since the ritalin. I tried adderall and I ask you, what the hell is different from one or the other? That's how it affected me. They were like one and the same. I'm ready to start drinking again, I could go for days on that! I kept everything<br />
going till I drank enough to affect my family and I quit, I am an alcoholic, but until I quit drinking, yeah it's awful too, my ADD showed itself more intensly .. I am a total contradiction of my own self and can do it on a dime. I never know, but I do know that meanwhile I am totally useless. I don't know what froze me, getting severe depression or taking ADD medication. . Oh and having ADD . Recovering Alcohlic (long time stopped) . I have talked myself in a corner and I'm really sorry, I don't have a clue what I really meant to say. I'm not trying to be funny here, I really have a blank.<br />
I should delete this but it took too long to write. I'm logging off though.

it's so sad, when i hear stories of people who take adderall when they don't truly need it, just because it makes life easier, or they get things done more quickly....I have ADD, and would give anything to able to not have to take this pill. I have been taking it since 8, and now 18 still am. I have repeatedly tried to stip taking it, but since i had started taking ot at such a young age, it's near impossible for me. I wish i could back in time and tell my parents to not have given ot to me. It's such a horrible pill. You become a different person, you become depressed and serious, things i once enjoyed are no longer enjoywable. So I always want to punch people who want to take it for the hell of it, even though they are perferctly fine...

You can't help how you feel and I know for a fact that ritalin changed me totally into an introverted , depressed person. Yeah , My mind slowed down enough to see reality but I was appalled. I just started some adderall but I don't see a diffference between the two. Until I started taking ADD medication I used to swallow tons of ephedrine from the curb store (minithins) but thet only helped because they were uppers. They calmed me down, Ritalin has depressed me. I have not seen a change with adderall. As for all the people who get high on stuff, I just got too high and had to be reigned in. The alcoholism recovery really activated the intensity of my add. I do remember when I drank, I never slept, I stopped, eventually was put on add meds but now I'm so passive and useless. I think about doing things but the next day I'm still thinking of those very things. So I am highly unmotivated but can zero in on something and see nothing else. It does not have to be something important. I'm more focused but not enough to do something, and I sure as heck have not lost weight!! And I was always skinny as a kid. Forgive me for rambling so. ( red cheeks)

This is how I felt the first year or so on it. It's almost like it does a 180 and you completely change . Instead of being outgoing....you start to become a recluse. Everything that you loved about being manic on adderall you still crave and never get the high you once had. It is replaced by paranoia , irritability, and self loathing. I have seen this too many times and in my own experience. I was great on the XR. Little trouble sleeping but I concentrated and go mounds of work done everyday. I saw a change as soon as i changed to the short acting. Years to taking those evil pills changed my life. I still struggle every day to stabilize my crazy moods and thoughts. My mother said I have lost my sparkle and that made me very sad. Sad because it's true.

Everyone seems to be different as far as thier reactions to thier AD medication. I do know that what people call "uppers" make me drowsy, and the benzos hype me up rather than calm me down. Agent, I too am a recovering alcoholic and I want to congratulate you, It's without doubt, the worst thing to stop, but I have not had alchol since 1992, And I thought I could never stop drinking. Now I'm on meds for asst, ailments, such as ADHD and depression, but I feel nothing. I wish I had an answer. I'm middle aged and it's crazy bad to have to say I take ritalin, especially when I don't know what it has done except to make me a zombie

I totally understand. I'm a recovering alcoholic, but the Adderall hasn't made me want to go back to that- it's just that I'm taking more than prescribed and my tolerance is super high.

But dexies and amphetamines... what's with all the chemical enhancements? Doesn't anyone want to get where they're going with their own ability anymore? I guess I'm just too willing to despise doctors. Yes, that's it. I do hate most all of them. NO, I'm not a hippie or whatever hugger of trees (though I do respect some more than people I know,) but honestly... I hate the very concept that some pill, no matter its shape, size or colour, is solely responsible for my life being better. But then, that's me. I'm not really critcising. I'm just adding me thoughts to this story. I'm sorry for those who are addicted to this adderall stuff, who say they want off the "ride" of it, and know doing so will cause them great pain. Sounds like if you were forced to hit yourself very hard in the fingers over and over for years with a heavy hammer, so that the rest of you could not feel such pain, and now you want to stop, knowing that doing so will force the brain to re distribute the sensation caused by the hammer, only now it won't just be your fingers in agony. I don't know, but if that's the case, I hope all who are trying to end the cycle of chemical dependency are able to find a way off that shows them a better way to live:)

I am ADHD but rather than Adderall, I was prescribed Ritalin. This was for a shrink and I was consulted by a counselor who was a PHD,. but MD. The counselor had ADHD and she too took Adderall. Must have done alright with it because she got the degree she sought and held a professional job. When I started Ritalin, I stayed asleep all the time. dosage was adjusted over time and while I still sleep a lot it's not 24/7. But I am very laid back to the point of not accomplishing anything. Is it the ritalin? Should I be on adderal? I really wish I knew, I want to do better than I currently am! Does anyone have any comments on ritalin as opposed to adderall and which is best?

Haha I totally agree with you. Although I have never and will never do any of the other drugs you delved into I believe adderall isn't bad. Actually, there is no research that proves its negative effects on the brain. I think it only becomes a problem when you use a ridiculous amount everyday because theres always a chance of overdose. Adderall is a great drug especially for people who are lazy and easily distracted. It can totally turn your life around. Laugh if you may but it's true. If you don't believe me...then try one yourself and tell me it doesn't make you into the amazing person you strive to be.