I Want to Quit Before I Lose Everything

I have always been envied for having the best self control.  I have been able to smoke cigarettes only when drinking for over 10 years and never became a smoker. 

Cocaine is different, at least for me.  I started off doing just a little but every time you do it you want more and each time gets more and more expensive and the craving for it become intense.

I have read what people say about becoming an addict, losing friends, jobs and getting into debt.  I laughed and said "not me".  But it happened.  I did lose my job.  I have lost many many friends and am heavily in debt.  No my life hasn't fallen apart thanks to the love between me and a certain person.  But cocaine has become more important to me then almost anything.  Even as I write this I want it.

For anyone who reads this and has any advice to help me get off of it or just has something to help me see a light at the end of this dark endless tunnel.......I would love to hear it.

And to anyone who has thought of using cocaine for the first time.......think , really think about it.  You can't miss what you don't know.

MeowKitty MeowKitty
31-35, F
10 Responses Apr 30, 2008

<p>Hey, I totally understand what it is that you're going through...im high right now, a stuffy, long term use high, and feel horrible...though I know I'm going to get more soon;and that's the reason I'm able to write this...<br />
<br />
I was drinking round the clock-im21now- at 19 and eventually tried cocaine...<br />
<br />
a life changing experience...it got me sent to treatment, taken to jail and close to death--which I fear more than anything--and yet now, after 90 days sober, I still chose to go ahead and drink& do coke. The addiction is of the evil, mental variety, that can not be defeated...it may only be surrendered to....the twelve steps can help anyone, including you, and being honest at a meeting can help you out substantially....i hate to be a program freak, but if coke was that good for you,then something's been wrong with your life for awhile now;the meetings can help you learn to accept yourself and others, which will no doubt help you to quit coke...its about acceptance, since coke is the most powerful way to stroke your ego, you have to learn that all of those outrageous dreams you have for yourself are not real;they are the product of your disease, and you need to accept that...oh **** it...i don't know how to help you...that was a hell of a try though</p>

Why people REALLY take drugs http://jahtruth.net/drugs.htm

coke is a hell of a drug ive been using for 4-5 years, i also have lost everything everyone, i have been through 5 years of absolute hell im almost through but still struggling to completly break free. i have seen and expeirienced evrything. i am happy to share my experiences with you or anyone, and am happy to here your stories as well.
i have many suicide attempts
times in psych ward
nearly died from a seizure
seen the worst and best of human nature
i will write in more detail tomorrow after work, i live in sydney and am just starting to reach out myself so am happy to here from anyone.

I did cocaine for 26 years. I started in 1980, and finally quit in 2006. I went through a lot of hell from it, lost my kids, cars, husband ( which Im am not sad about) money, houses, my respect for myself and others, my dignity, and just about everything I've ever owned. I still get that feeling of "lets go out and get some", but it is not as strong as it used to be, and I remind myself that the high wasn't that great- always getting into fights, worrying about the cops, ect. In other words, Coke sucks. I've been arrested 12 times from that crap. I finally said enough's enough, and quit 5 years ago. All I can say is, Thank You, Jesus, Thank You, Lord. PS I haven't seen my child in 13 years from doing that crap. I am very sorry about it, she is beautiful, and I missed her growing up due to my being so selfish. Shame on me.

Well i've never tried Coke but i do alota Marijuana, in my street i know so many bad guys that run things, i mean they sell Coke but i've never had interest in it coz i seen so many junkies & i dont like how they live their lifes.. sincerely Hard Drugs has ruined so many lives, it turned the riches to poor & make some homeless. I really wanna know what the feeling is, i just wanna take it once coz imagine why some people turned to addict. I'm a very good weed smoker & believe me, sometimes i quit smoking for 8months & even more than that. can somebody tell me how he/she feels after taking Coke?

You feel fast and in charge and then, after about 15 mins, you feel totally hopeless and without purpose...that's when you do more and start the horrible cycle, and if you're lucky you won't have to do it over and over again, until you surrender. If you're not lucky, you'll be addicted to the stuff and want it all the time and will be unable to control your use..

Whatever u d dont try it. The first time my be all it takes for it to start

I am in the same boat. I have a family a great husband. I over the last couple days have done a rather large amount of coke. He has told me his is going to take my kids nd leave me if I don't stop. I plan on going to a meeting tonight but will that help. I am so lost as well. I have been batteling this demon for 13 years i am only 27. I Know it wasn't the advice your looking for. I just want the help to and looking where ever I can get it. I want what I have. I have done this for to long it needs to be done.

I'm in a similar situation...was probably about 6yrs ago I tried it and now I'm in a relationship and all my friends think it is ok, but I've got to a point after being very successful in the past and now not working and suffering anxiety and some depression probably because of the anxiety has lead me to depression...that I'm in a bad place..I've read a lot about this and as hard as it sounds you have to distance to yourself completely from the people you do it with etc/.I hope you find away..I'm still trying and wish you all the best..god bless you..xx

I know addiction all too well. It is my constant companion. My best advice is get into treatment. You need to get into a rehab facility for detox which is usually 5 days. From there you can either stay 25 more days or go into an out patient program. You may think this sounds extreme, but being in some sort of structured program especially in the begining really helps keep you focused on what is important & that is staying off the drugs. It is your number one priority. Nothing else will fall into place til you take that first step. Another good reason for treatment is that you surround yourself with people who are just like you. Going through the same ****. You build a bond and have a basis for a support network. If doing in patient treatment seems to scary, go talk to someone at a facility. The can suggest different treatment options. Feel free to contact me if you like, there is hope.

I can speak from experience. I was not the type but I got addicted to crack cocaine. I started out using regular cocaine with my friends occasionally. I never wanted to but it quickly became out of control. Especially when I started using crack. It was so bad that one day I realized that if I didn't quit, I would eventually end up dead in a motel somewhere. I was lucky that I never lost my job. I decided to move out of that city and relocate. I completely started over in another city. Left my friends and job. I met someone that was completely clean and married her. Never called my friends again. I basically got out of that environment and made sure to stay away from any kind of similar environment in the new city. That is very important because the craving is still there and can last for years. In fact it never really goes away. But if you are around people that do not use, it will eventually be easier to manage it. If you are around anybody that uses it, you will not be able to quit. So that my advice to you. Chnage your environment at once before it's too late because it sounds like you really want to quit.<br />
Good luck....

i'm not much for advice giving in this situation, but i make a good friend and shoulder for those trying to quit substances. give me a shout if you're having a particularly hard time