Day 4 - Withdrawal!

I fell in love with my ex last year, and now we are not together anymore. We are 'friends', but recently I've been addicted to checking his Facebook page several times a day. We were on Facebook chat last week, and all of a sudden he closed the chat on me. I first figured he had just logged off and gone to bed....but when I checked his page, I saw that he was indeed still online, because he had been commenting on other people's pictures (the comments to pictures show up on his page)..and from the timestamp, I could tell that he had made those comments after he had abruptly closed the chat session with me. I gave him some crap for that....and I haven't heard from him since.

I decided to stop going on Facebook for a while - I realized that things b/w us (friendship wise) were really not that bad until I got addicted to checking his Facebook. Its so ridiculous how FB can make or break a friendship!

I realized that..since I do have this weird addiction to checking his page, I need to just stay off of it entirely. It is difficult to do this, b/c I have a smart-phone, which allows me to go online anytime I want. I did break down and went on FB thru my phone yesterday, but I just checked my Inbox quickly, responded to a couple of my good friends to tell them to contact me on gmail/phone rather than Facebook for a while...and then logged out. (BTW...still no response from my ex..).

I did however feel really bad about chewing him out, so I sent him an email from my gmail account saying I was sorry for doing that, that I was super stresed out and he didn't deserve it. Still no reply.

I am scared of losing him forever b/c he is one of those guys who will block someone out of his life entirely if he needs to...he has done it before....he never did it with me up until now...and now I am scared I'll never talk to him again. :-(

I really was super stressed out with a lot of stuff going on in my life. I just needed a break from everything (that is the last status message I posted on my FB before I decided do take a break from it...).

I dunno how long I'm gonna try to stay away from it - I do have a little bit of an addictive personality when it comes to certain things/people (not drugs or alcohol, thank god!) - so it has been REALLY tough these past few days...I feel like I'm missing an arm by not being on Facebook.....but it really has been therapeutic also.

 

Facebook is a great website, don't get me wrong....I've reconnected with SO many people on it (that is how I reconnected w/ my ex! we were friends in high school, and lost touch for many years until last year..). But..it is so easy to check up on ex-bf's....and that is just not healthy when you are trying to get over them.

I still love him dearly, and don't want to lose the friendship. I feel as though its a bit too late tho....I hope he doesn't dissappear from my life forever :-(

kajal kajal
31-35
3 Responses Mar 8, 2009

It has been a while. Have you got back together with him?

wow,I dont feel so alone anymore.<br />
'xcept my experience was different,when I saw my ex on my best friends photos saying how hot she was and all that and stopped talking to me and being my friend I felt hurt and decided to make a clean break I like to check is page sometimes but decided to stop!<br />
yeah,so im glad im not alone,I thought I was such a freak for doing that.

I relate and sympathize with your hurt.........I was "blocked" by an ex.....it leaves you with feelings of unanswered questions..confusion..and embarresment..my suggestion w/all do respect..is to let him/it go....each day you go w/out "checking " the facebook page...each day after will get better...I also have ocd and a cocktail ofother issues...so I know its hard to stop a repetitive behavior...but it can stop...you will probably always deep down care for this person...appreciate it for that and put the thoughts and memories of him in a heart storage box in you long term memory....have a good sunday....xo