Ever since I lost my virginity to rape, I've just had this insatiable compulsion to have sex (often high risk sex). At first, I thought of it as a way to reclaim sex for myself and to make the rape seem smaller and less significant.
teawithharry teawithharry
22-25, T
4 Responses Aug 20, 2014

Add me please

What you're describing is super common in people who have been violated in the way you describe. It's complete and utter terrorism of something that should belong entirely to you.

Many people who have been in similar experiences also believe, when thy do what you describe doing, that they are reclaiming sex or control of who where when how, etc.

My personal belief is that subconsciously someone who has been raped thinks that they are for hurting. And so people will hurt them. So they might as well hurt themselves since it's going to happen anyways.

I am so sorry for your experience and honor your strength. You are not for hurting. You are worthy of kindness, consideration, and love from others and from yourself.

Thank you so much. This is exactly what I needed. Bless.

I've been raped 3 times. Last time 2 years ago was the worst, (I put myself in risky situations after the first), last time I was drugged by two guys, and since then... I've been addicted to sex. I crave it, and have no idea why. I still have PTSD.
I believe... I just found a new out for my pain. Sex, or getting off, gives me that high and I'm addicted to it because it helps release the depression and anything else. If I don't have it within a week, I freak out.
I'm too scared to talk to anyone about it, my boyfriend gets mad bc I have such a high sex drive, and get mad when he turns me down because I feel I am not good enough.
So that turns me to looking for other ppl to flirt with and tease them, because I need something..
Didn't realize I was a sex addict until last month.

Please get some help

It's easier than making friends.

Sorry to hear. Life can be so cruel!!!

Now I find it nearly impossible to turn down sex and to stay out of a relationship. I feel out of control. It's been 4 years since the assault.