I'm Addicted To Men And The Attention They Give Me.

I'm 28 yrs old and I am now realizing that I'm addicted to men.  My ex cheated on me and he has figured out that he is a sex addict and I have realized that I'm addicted to men.  Every time I get single by choice or not by choice I run to look for a new man.  I know that doesn't fix anything with myself.  I just end up in the same mess that I was in before.  I'm seeing a counselor at church.  As of today March 2, 2010 I'm not seeking attention from men anymore.  Everytime I get weak I will get on my knees and beg God for mercy on me with this issue that I have.  I know that he is the solution to all of my problems.  This is going to be a struggle but I can do this.  I'm tired of my life.  I need to know how to be content being with me, myself, and I.  Does anyone have any suggestions for me???

amyw4125 amyw4125
26-30, F
8 Responses Mar 2, 2010

women need men and vice versa, so a husband would be a perfect solution

You'll need to continue to put God first, but don't punish yourself, and I wouldn't rush into marriage either. That can be a trap if it's the wrong guy (i married the wrong woman that way) or you're not on top of the situation and it leads you to other guys. My sister ruined her marriage that way. You can have one man, be imaginative and make each other VERY happy and fulfilled, I'm sure. That's the best outcome, I'd say.

We should talk

Your quiz interests me but I'm apprehensive about giving my email address out.

@becomingmymom (great name by the way, giggled!) yes, man addiction is seriously pandemic, not helped by the fact society encourages it out of us! Heck, it's considered more acceptable to be in a destructive addictive relationship to be single! Have you heard of relationship addiction? Multiple marriages are very common. I was reading this great book on the weekend, Escape From Intimacy by Anne Wilson Shaef there is a very useful chapter on relationship addiction in it. I myself am a counsellor who has committed my life to helping women with man addiction, I divide into these categories: sex addiction, romance addiction, relationship addiction, person addiction, codependency. Of course we can swing around as required to get out fix: I myself started with sex, got codependent in relationships, and became a person addict when they walked away. I've been developing a quiz to help women determine their "type", it's sent for free if you sign up to my site at www.mymandetox.com where I'll be posting a lot of useful stuff about man addiction- there's a post up about types that might interest you too!

Yours is a very common malady for a lot of women today. Perhaps you're a serial monogamist or as you say just addicted to men. BTW, how many marriages? Maybe you've been smarter than me. My 4th divorce is about to be final and I'm about to marry again for the fifth time. Seriously, I go from one relationship to another. Good luck, I hope you lick your addiction. Believe me I understand.

I am completely unimpressed with the glib and inappropriate and entirely unfunny comment above. I think you should be proud of yourself for recognizing your addiction. There are some things in life that we just have to cold turkey on to get perspective. This gives us the room to truly see our patterns and then find the courage and strength to change them. So give yourself all the space and time you need. The first part is the hardest so hang in!

Check out Histrionic Personality Disorder and see if the symptoms fit you.