I Eat Vicodin Like Candy.

I went on a seven month narcotics binge. I got clean in March. There hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about my addiction. About wanting just a few vicodin, or morphine, or oxycodone, or any other kind of pill along those lines. I used to eat them like candy. And, I might start up again. The pills (morphine) are sitting less than five feet away. Nine of them. I want them so badly. A friend gave them to me. I don't want to get hooked again. But I miss the warm feeling they gave me. The bliss. The safe feeling, like everything is going to be alright. It's like the warm blanket you had when you were little that protected you from monsters.

I want it. And I don't know if I can stop myself from giving in. It's like that song by the killers. "They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet, you don't have to drink right now. But you can dip your feet every once in a little while."

Can't I just dip my feet in?
absolutionist absolutionist
22-25, F
3 Responses Oct 2, 2010

To me you need to get rid of those as ling as you really do not want to take them. I could never have them there and not take them. I envy all the people on here who have made it through withdraws and are now clean. Congrats, you are my heroes.

I know how you feel. I cant even remember how I made it through the day without taking Vicoden. I really need to stop so I talked to my doctor and he is weening me off so that I dont have horrible withdrawls. Dont get me wrong, I do have have withdrawls, but at least its not debilitating. Good Luck.

there is groups out there that can help, google the help groups in your town ,or near it.