My Pain

I use pain to punish myself, and it may sound stupid but I love the feeling after I physically hurt myself because I know that I have got what I deserve. It's one way I know that I have pushed the pain that I may have cause to someone else, and inflicted it on myself instead. It's not because the physical pain is easier to cope with than the emotional pain. Well it is, but thats not my reason for doing it. You could say pain has it's good and bad days, but it always has my back...

hurtandpain hurtandpain
18-21, F
5 Responses Mar 15, 2010

Interesting. I used to self-harm and what you say about the need to punish yourself is exactly how i felt at the time.

This sounds like something I would right. What you write, right here, was my reason for self-injury a few years ago. It's almost like the thought process of, "since I did something wrong, I'll punish myself. Now that I've gotten what I deserve, I can kind of forgive myself for this mistake".

i completely understand where you are coming from and i know how you are feeling. And id be a hypercrite if i had asked you to stop, which i wont do i just want you to know that the physical pain that we love so much and that we need on a regular basis isnt our friend. You speak about pain as though it is your friend, it isnt its a desiease, a dictator even. It takes over and makes you feel and think the way it wants. I know this from experience and i know it may just sound stupid to ou but if i cant take my own advice, mabey you should consider seeking out some help. and im always there just a message away. im appy to talk about anything you would like to talk about, :) soetimes its easier to talk to someone wo understands :) <br />
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Blessed Be, Feel better.

The pain enters our home from a soft window, yet we don`t feel it until we ignore it a whole lot which gives it power to invade our life, it doesn`t get easy by days especially if it made some deep wounds in a caring heart.<br />
My point is that we can`t live with pain so we need to motivate ourself with what`s left of the colored hope!<br />
Believe in yourself and everything will be alright!

i so get this