Lost Now

 i am pretty sure I have intimacy issues, i want to avoid sex at all costs, and it scares me to death that i will be pressured for sex, and if i do have sex i will be direspected and disgarded afterwarsd,its happened before, and i also have experienced a sexual assult and several damaging relationships, right now I choose to be single because the fear is too intence, but I don't want to be scarred forever i am hoping someday i will be able to love and to be loved, thats a long long way off though

sweetstacey sweetstacey
26-30, F
3 Responses Aug 6, 2008

I was abused sexually by my stepfather from the age of three to ten. I feel uncomftable hugging a boy and scared of kissing them. I once had a boyfriend that I had a sleepover with (nothing happended, just slept beside each other), and next morning, I felt like I had to vomit and cried all the time. I had to go home right away. The following days, I felt hatred towards my boyfriend - and I didn't know why. I couldn't even write him and let him know that I was all right. I dumped him and never talked to him again.<br />
I think I have some issues too, but do you think that I maybe can push myself a little further each time I have a boyfriend and just get used to it?

Have you considered psychotherapy?

You do seem to realise what issues you have and what has caused them....justifiably so this creates a fear of intimacy that will take some unravelling and I too would recommend professional help as quickly as possible.<br />
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It would be almost impossible for you to have any kind of relationship with this fear and pressure constantly in front of you. Give yourself a chance and get help.