Lost Now

 i am pretty sure I have intimacy issues, i want to avoid sex at all costs, and it scares me to death that i will be pressured for sex, and if i do have sex i will be direspected and disgarded afterwarsd,its happened before, and i also have experienced a sexual assult and several damaging relationships, right now I choose to be single because the fear is too intence, but I don't want to be scarred forever i am hoping someday i will be able to love and to be loved, thats a long long way off though

sweetstacey sweetstacey 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 6, 2008

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I was abused sexually by my stepfather from the age of three to ten. I feel uncomftable hugging a boy and scared of kissing them. I once had a boyfriend that I had a sleepover with (nothing happended, just slept beside each other), and next morning, I felt like I had to vomit and cried all the time. I had to go home right away. The following days, I felt hatred towards my boyfriend - and I didn't know why. I couldn't even write him and let him know that I was all right. I dumped him and never talked to him again.

I think I have some issues too, but do you think that I maybe can push myself a little further each time I have a boyfriend and just get used to it?

Have you considered psychotherapy?

You do seem to realise what issues you have and what has caused them....justifiably so this creates a fear of intimacy that will take some unravelling and I too would recommend professional help as quickly as possible.

It would be almost impossible for you to have any kind of relationship with this fear and pressure constantly in front of you. Give yourself a chance and get help.