Always Afraid...

Honey, what you feel is not out of this world. It can be quite common in people who have lived traumatic events related to sex, for some reason the act of sex or even intimacy scares you and makes you unconfortable (that thing about curling up into a ball is the fetus position, some people do that to self-confort themselves when they feel threatened, anxious, unconfortable) Something must have happened for you to feel like that dear, sometimes the way our parents adress sex with us in childhood (like not being able to talk about it or just being hearing them moan in sex, when we are childs) can result in adults to feel what you are feeling, I am just pointing out some reasons for that it may happened, BUT this is not the end, this is a situation that can be fixed, have you ever went to a psychologist? they are professionals who have learned how to deal with such situations and help you make those intimacy issues gone. Anything you say there it stays there, they are forced by their ethics and by law to not talk about anything talked in there outside that room, it may be extremely unconfortable to talk about this kind of stuff to a "stranger" but they are objective viewers that only want to solve the problem at hand. Don't panic, this situation can be fixed :) I hope you the best for you and your relationship with your boyfriend

Do you know my wife? No, but really I felt at first that my wife had general intimacy issues, but then after hearing her talk to her friend about a cross encounter with one of her old flames and how they had ended up making out over lunch and how great it was, I realized the issue must be with me. I am not saying this is the issue you are facing, but sometimes, people can have general intimacy issues in regards to everyone and others it's intimacy issues with a particular person. So, you should determine which it is and see a counselor. Don't ignore the issue until it becomes a bigger issue altogether or let it pass and wind up hurting someone you do love.

I have that same problem, and I don't know why, either.