The Stages Of Intimacy . . .

holding hands creates a bond between people it opens the heart you can tell from there hands almost what kind of life they have had,theres many stories in an older persons hands,shaking hands with some one is a look at there thoughts of you and how they feel being in your presence

Exceptional. I would recommend that you catch up on your writing. Someone with this writing gift should exercise it....frequently. Well done!

well Monique....given that is the case....about your posture....do you feel comfortable putting a photo of yourself in such a pose on EP ?



smiling as I write this.



C

i just reread your posts here.



your daughter ....you say....has observed you putting your hands behind your back when you are in the presence of a man you are attracted to.



when you do this .....do your also straighten your back by any chance M ?

No, u are doing a great job in this blog. we are all fragile and vulnerable at times in our lives with intmacy etc. i feel inspired by you . you are a giver and a survivor. nice to meet you here . xo peter

I had to to do a hard thing when I was told I could not take care of my mom Of 93 years old and she entered the nursing home. People their would want to talk to you as you pass by going to her room. A touch or a hand shake would put a big smile on

their faces, it meant so much to them, that type of intimacy is hard for some people.



In a relationship I think the eyes say it all. A hand shake is a good start but the world today, people are afraid of touch when it comes to hands. How the world has changed. nice subject thanks chow :) .

i have a girl friend who only strokes hair in the presence of a man.



whether its a grooming feature ( like cats groom themselves ) or not...is a moot point.



tell me Monique when you are in the company of the opposite sex.....what mannerisms do you portray ?

i would like to suggest conversation can be a form of intimacy as well.



and



the way we ladies might stroke our hair.....during conversation.



C

i would like to suggest you read Al Turtle's work on "The Map of Relationships".



It may be of help to you.



Be well.



C

Thank you for this post. You made me realise that I miss holding hands.. xx

Yeah, your Very sentimental, an approach that Never works for me................ :(

LOL

Hey Nitehowl,



I watch older couples . . and you know what they do most often as a sign of affection .. they hold hands. The simple gesture that probably started their relationship is kept alive.



Monique . .



ps.. and you can call me Sugar any time ...

Well sugar, you should have pulled my shirt tail. I take it the "Main " topic this go round is holding hands. I have a hard time with it when it is not with a person of interest. She has to like it as well. I know a lot happens with the hands. Both good and not so good. I prefer the good always when it comes to the female persuasion. Much can and should come from the hands. I know plenty of times I have done things with my hands to her hands and the reactions have been ever so interesting. The end results plasters a smile with her her girl friends ask her about.



That is probably the worst part. Sometimes it is best they leave and other times you would really like it if they stayed. I can think of someone who would be most welcome and I promise I would share my hands. I would even shake on that. ;-}



A hand shake then holding hands and then hugs and then what ever your heart desires. ;-)

I have 'Intimacy Issues' I cant get any.................... :(

LOL

Thanks for this story and your follow up comments. Your thoughts are interesting and well written. Pretty unusual On EP. :-)

I'm gonna come round and let your bicycle tyres down.................. :)

LOL

Hugging,holding hands, and shaking hands etc Can be great, jus like having sex, - It just depends who your doing it with..................



LOL

Some band Once sang a song "If you cant be with the One that you love - Love the One your with........." :)

- Was it The Eagles ?? Cant remember.............. :(

Monique I would take singing lessons and come round and serenade you, in your trailer park................. outside your Mobie home................. :)

- Switch the tv/ radio off will you ???

Yes, intimacy is wonderfull.............

I wish we lived in a "wonderfull" world - but we dont.............. :( ( I dont,anyway ).

We just have to do the best we can, and Hope that the World ( and our personal circumstances, Change for the Better ......................... :)



- I assume that somebody usually as well-mannered as yourself is too busy to reply to me.................. :(



LOL xx

I thank and applaud your willingness to visit seniors in nursing homes, and to hold their hands.

Thanks heehoo1,



nicely said . . I know what you mean about the hand shake . . an energy exchange is exactly right . . . hand shakes tell a lot about the greeting or expression . . . I visit a lot of senior homes and the hand shake is the accepted form of greeting ..



we seem to in the era of hugs . . .every one is hugging .. especially athletes on TV. . . . I personally don't like being hugged , that is by strangers ...



so you're right, the hand shake trumps the hug . . that is . . .in my humble opinion



xoxo

Monique

There is a sort of energy exchange when holding hands especially if it is between a couple or parents and children or for that matter good friends, the next to that would probably be a hug, but even when shaking hands, even with an unknown person the warmth of the other person towards you can always be felt with the quality of hand shake

oh no no no tiredchris,



The letter is very important .. in my blog "The Stage of Intimacy." I've actually left gaping holes, that is I have been unable to completely capture all the things that lead to an intimate and trusting relationship ... I stress Trusting ...



writing letters, talking, phone conversations are very important in knowing some one, or as a famous doctor once said, "We are all connected by a thousand invisible threads" and as we grow and learn to know people we are continually lashing new strands of communication which help us to strenghthen the relationship... and grow toward Trust.



I'm really only learning this in the past eight years, after having gone through a nervous breakdown, followed by depression, followed by a bout with alcohol, followed by a divorce ... and then finally to emerge and rebuild my life from the ground up.... anyway, I now have a wonderful groups of friends who I think ,,, I trust. Relationships take work and commitment, friends, spouses,... it's the same.



oh dear, I seem to be lost in my own blog suddenly ...



Oh yes...But TiredChris , I will not let you escape until I say how much I enjoy your romantic ideas... Mmmmmm, very nice - file those romantic things to be uncorked later at the right moment .. yes, I can imagine you standing on the ladder strumming your guitar - as I open the window and call out "tiredChris, tiredChris, where for art thou ...."



The only problem is I have just moved from a quaint New England two story colonial to a ---ahem - mobile home - which has no second floor - so using a ladder you might over shoot the lady in waiting by several feet - plus the sides are slippery and the ladder might tip over and there you would be on the ground with you and your guitar shattered into several pieces ... underneath the ladder...



I hope I haven't killed another romantic ...



xoxo

Monique

If I knew where you lived, I'd come round and borrow next doors ladder, prop it against your wall, tape some good guitar music, borrow a guitar, ascend up to you, and sing you some 'love-songs' like Romeo.................................. :)

If that didn't get you 'in the mood, and make you feel all 'gooey', and make all your juices flow, I'd take you for a nice drink and we'd have a good laugh about it anyway......................... :)

Once I put my strong arms round you, you'd forget all about any letter, I Promise.................

LOL

tiredchris,



I do write in my work, proposals and some articles ... but mainly I just like to write letters to people .. won't don't you write me a letter . . ok?



xoxo

Monique

Maybe you Should write Professionally .........................?

LOL

Thanks,

I'll make it a project ... now let's see, where are we on this blog?

:)

Monique

moniqueinSpring.......I think most of us would love to be like that.. That spark..That desire to actual touch someone. I miss that the most...Just having someone who wants to be near me, for me. Not for $, or convienence, or kids. Good Luck!

FM2BME4U



thanks for sharing this ...



"They would hold hands when walking to the car. He would call her his sweet heart..I found it mushy at he time. They were in their 80's then. He would sit and comb her long black hair. He would tell her how nice it felt. so sweet.."



My aunt and uncle were like this. They still had the "spark" up until the day they passed away. Hope I get the spark again someday ..



xoxo

Monique

Thanks Monique I appreciate your comments...