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How The Lord Restored Me From A Seeming ''reprobate'' Mind.

I will tell you a brief of my story, i was born again at the age of 16 and i enjoyed my relationship with God, being a spirit filled christian tongue talking, but after two years sin crept into my life and i was back to sinful life. After seven years living in rebellion that was late in 2006, i come across a christian tv and someone was being delivered, that moment i saw my need to rededicate my life unto the Lord and i did so. That is when things started. I began to feel unaccepted to the lord. The enemy began to remind me my past and try to prove me the lie that i can't be saved anymore because i was once saved. By that time i didn't new that those were lies[because they were just thoughts and i thought they where my thoughts till i realize later] and that is the mistake i made. The enemy tried to use scriptures especially the one in the book of hebrews 6;4 where it say it's impossible to bring to repentance those who were once enlightened to the gospel...... and so i believed i was reprobate and beyond redemption. Even though i believed those lies[i didn't knew they were lies by then i thought its my wisdom by trying to figure out] i kept on seeking the Lord begging for mercy. My life become very tough those days as my sin increased and my thoughts become very filth and even blasphemous. I started to move from church to church, from pastor to pastor looking for help but things like unbelief, fear, depression, anger multiplied. Soon i was not even able to stand in a church because of the wicked thoughts the enemy would put in my mind so i stopped going to church, but i did not stopped seeking The Lord. The enemy began to make me think that i had blasphemed the Holy Spirit and so my despair increased. I can write the whole book about the depths i descended let me end here, let me tell you how Jesus dealt with me. This situation lasted for about 5 years, i am not yet fully recovered but i am making a great progress. Jesus in His wisdom and love was dealing with me as i was going through this. At that time of course i didn't knew this. In His wisdom and love, if His children come to Him and then wonder, and then the child come again then The Lord will make it look like that child has been rejected by allowing that child to go through the depths of darkness but all the while that child is accepted. The Lord has to be tough on this so that when the time for deliverance come the child will not wonder into the world again. This truth will not change, '' for i am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord [romans 8;38,39] There came a time when i began to fight the lies of the enemy with The Lord's truth. it was not easy but it was worthy it. Things began to change and i began to believe that The lord still love me and accept me as his child. I began to see what i was going through as His discipline which is a sign of His love but it was not easy because it took me months and years to resist lies, self condemnation, unbelief and the like. The key here is, lay down all your preconceived ideas, accept that you mis-understood the scriptures and start to trust The Lord and believe it is his will to save you.. Proverbs 3;6 says Trust in The Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. This scripture has been a great blessing to me because the enemy capitalize in our own understanding to deceive us. There is a difference between knowing what the word say and knowing what it means. Pray asking Jesus to reveal to you what that scripture which seem to condemn you really means and wait patiently for His reply. Never ever believe that you have been given over to a reprobate mind, no matter how dark you situation is, those are the lies of the enemy[he twist scriptures capitalizing on your ignorance and misinterpretation]. Be assured that The Lord is dealing with you even though you are confused and it does not make sense, its hard to believe this when you are in the pit but thats the truth. Jesus's ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts, like in my life, it will make sense one day and you will be filled with awe. Jesus will never give up on us. You might say that i am not repenting enough but all the while you are repenting, the moment you realize you did wrong and you need to return to God, that was repenting. You might say you do not have faith but my dear one, you do have, its not great faith that is needed but simple sincere faith, faith is a gift from God, you think God is demanding what He did not give you, thats not true
mmutsakama mmutsakama 26-30, M 6 Responses Mar 12, 2012

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Almost my whole life Ive lived it Gay knowing it was against God . Two Christmas ago I met a man who I can say I for the first time in my life can day I really Loved, discusted yet let me tell you why It was Love.because I eas willing and did infact ask God to take me out .yes take me home I led the young man to Christ.tho he hsd his own demons .Id gladly give my life so there wouldn't be any temptation from me .see he stabbed his girl friend in the neck when she first tryed to kill him Why? Because he wanted to become a christian and She didn't. I dont belive a person is born Gay .My God wouldn't be so cruel. He's a loving and caring God.i sit now in a Hospital in Phoenix my heart only working at 25% please pray for my healing as I believeGod has s plan for our lives

Mmutsakama, thank you for your story of hope and restoration :)

As someone who is going through seperation of the Holy Spirit, I ask that you pray for us who are in a Bad Situation because of our rebellion to the Holy Spirit. God Bless You ^_^

i will definitely

surely whatever the case is, rest assured that God will leave us nor forsake us.

Can you please help me!? I’m afraid I lost my salvation. I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior 2 1/2 years ago, baptized, filled with the Holy Spirit, speaking in tongues, and loving God. I pursued youth ministry and outreach. This year I got very confused with doctrine and joined a different demonization (apostolic). After a bible study I was convinced about the Acts 2:38 message being completely necessary and biblical for salvation. So I got re-baptized in Jesus name and refilled with the Holy Spirit! I felt really good after I got baptized in Jesus name and spoke in tongues again. I felt very powerful and Spirit filled! I honestly did feel washed and cleansed as if my sins were remitted and washed away. I even felt deliverance that night! However I felt very confused and uncertain whether or not this form of doctrine was true. I wanted to begin to evangelize immediately, but I wanted to make sure that there was no error at all in this form of doctrine. I got so confused on Gods plan for salvation and what it means to be born of water and of the Spirit (John 3:5). The many sermons and worship experience I received at the apostolic church were very powerful, anointed, and convicting. However, I still felt so uncertain and uncomfortable. I told God that whatever the truth was; that I will obey it, walk in it, and preach it no matter what other demonization or religions say! I asked God to please confirm to me the Truth. I felt that God was confirming to me in prayer and dreams that Jesus name baptism and Holy Spirit baptism was Truth for salvation (Acts 2:38). I asked God “did a person have to be baptized in order to be saved, and God told me to read the Bible (Mark 16:16). I could hear Gods voice direct me to preach acts 2:38 to the world! Then many people from the Baptist and Charismatic church told me that I was in error with doctrine and they wanted to help me understand the sc<x>riptures. I went to some Bible studies with them, however they were really not able to show me clearly and give me a biblical reasoning. Most of there responses were traditional rather than sc<x>riptural. I felt deeply convicted but confused!! I went to prayer with one of my close friends from the Baptist church for confirmation and he said he heard God say “heresy”! IT DID NOT MAKE ANY SENCE! How can the bible be a heresy!? (Acts 2:38) I could not tell if God was pulling me in the apostolic direction or the charismatic direction. Spiritual warfare was SOOOO INTENSIVE! I felt a pull and conviction in both ways!! It did not even make any since. It was extremely confusion and frustrating. I received random prophetic messages to continue with the apostolic, and then I would receive prophetic messages to rebuke the apostolic message and continue with Baptist/charismatic. I didn’t know who to rebuke or pray against. I would pray and rebuke the apostolic one day, then get confused the next and rebuke the Baptist/charismatic’s. I became extremely double minded! I ended up received dreams that I was not able to even interpret! I was so uncertain about which direction they were leading me! I was very spiritually messed up and unbalanced! I went back from church to church asking for doctrinal help. I spent 3 months studying doctrine, but my prayer and worship life decreased intensely. I began to lose my intimate relationship with God and become very unstable. I then ended up falling into continuous sexual sins and immorality. The church I was fellowshipping with told me that all of the other churches were ether false Christ, false spirits, compromised doctrines, and spirits of deception. They were able to somehow convince me that it was true concerning the Word of God. I then began to regret many of the prophecies that I received from the other churches, and deny them as being counterfeits. Latter before I even knew it, I began to lose the presence of God. I can't feel his presence anymore; I can’t even feel spiritual conviction anymore! I can’t worship God or pray anymore ether. I can barely speak in tongues but it’s very dry and weak now. I don’t feel any manifest presence of God or anointing! I REALLY MESSED UP BIG THIS TIME! I am experiencing demonic attacks and sexual oppression. I keep praying and praying and crying and crying! I repent all day long but I don’t hear God or feel anything! I feel like a blasphemed Gods church, spirit, and doctrine. I tell God that whatever I did, I did not mean it! I WAS DECIEVED! AND whatever I did was don’t out of ignorance! I was only trying to seek him and get people saved!! I was only trying to seek God so that I could spread the true gospel to my family and friends. I feel as if I got lost and condemned in my pursuit! It’s just not fair! I feel so cut off now :( Am I doomed to hell? Am I an unpardonable reprobate? Is it all over?!?<br />
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If you are prophetically gifted and connected with God, please pray for me and let me know what my condition is!? I am desperate!!

you know what, we're the same.what is so much worst is that it all and always happen every week--like a cycle;knowing God more feeling so spiritually uplift, then sinning, then realizing my mistakes, then asking forgiveness,then working so hard for it, then receiving forgiveness finally, then sinning again.that sometimes how i wish he would let me die, so that i may not sin anymore.it hurts to know that u are a failure, to disappointed God, and i am tired of myself.i hate 'me'.there are times i told him he's wrong for making me.i can't fight this war, i was never equipped.but the only thing i am now holding on to is believing:that as long as i am still living, God is still giving me a chance to look at him, stand, walk and correct my mistakes.i always pray he'll not give up on me, so on others.let us continually pray, we don't really know what would happen.but what we could only do right now is Trust and walk the life.

You have it wrong. Don't undermine Christ's act on the cross. You are giving yourself vain belief that you can earn your forgiveness. It is destroying you. If you are like this, your belief is wrong. Christ did EVERYTHING for you on the cross. There is nothing more you need than to just accept that every sin you've ever done or will do, is pre-paid on the cross. Think about how many thousands of blood sacrifices the Jews did as they awaited their Messiah. One drop of Christ's blood on the cross was enough for your existence and many more.

Isaiah 64:6 - Your works are as filthy rags before God. The only one he accepts is faith in his Son

Ephesians 2:8 - You are saved of grace by faith, not of works.


He isn't disappointing in you. If you believe in his son, it is credited to you as righteousness. John 6:40, Romans 4:22

All who call on the name of the Lord shall be saved

You are not lost. God has and is forgiving you. You use the word feeling a lot. Do I feel saved or not? Feelings are good but they change every minute. Stand on Gods word and what he says not on what you feel. I know this is difficult because you say you don't feel Gods closeness. God calls us to obey not if we feel like it. We are called to rejoice in the Lord always, not if we feel like it. Do I feel like praying or praising every day? No but it is a command that we do not if we feel like it. The same is true with Gods forgiveness it is written, not a feeling. What you have said that you have done, sins, confusion, I don't see anything that is the unpardonable sin. You don't have to live in fear, worry or anguish. God is still there even if you don't feel him. Talk to God he is not mad at you.

Thanks victoryqeen333

Thank you for this. May God bless you.