Lost salvation, my senses are changing...
Hey everyone. Please excuse my bad english since i am not a native speaker.
I lost my salvation one month ago and I don't have to tell you this hopeless and sorrowful process...
But I wanted to ask if anyone of you who share the same state, has experienced the following things:

1. I have no longer conviction of sin and I begin to have the desire for my old vices...
2. Having uncontrollable voices in my head that try to say things that blaspheme god or that mislead to sin.
3. The feeling how it was to live with god fades with every day. I am feeling like I am becoming just a sinner again and I can't do anything against it.

It is so terrible because I don't want this to happen, but it seems that my heart fades to the bad side with every passing day... If you've got the same problems I would be thankful if you could tell me what to do...

I better want to live in that feeling of endless guilt than being a sinner again who enjoys sin...

fabigi fabigi
31-35, M
6 Responses Aug 24, 2014

I have the same problem. I sure can recognize me in your 1.2.3. points. I don't know what to do. It helps a little to know that other people are in the same situation, maybe one of us will find a solution? Even though I know in my heart its too late...

hang in there.

Listen to me: I'm an 18 year old boy who received Christ this year. I came to this page a while ago believing the same lie. It is impossible.. i repeat... IT IS IMPOSSIBLE to lose your salvation. Your feelings mean nothing. Absolutely nothing. I know that sounds harsh but it's true. Don't look for feelings. Your faith hasn't gone anywhere. God is waiting on you to run back to Him. Pray and don't focus on feelings. Focus on him. Once saved, always saved. God bless you.

Hey, saw your guys' posts as I was trying to find anyone who's gone through something similar to what I'm going through. It's been 3 months since the Lord tested me and showed the ugly reality of my heart. I don't know if I was ever saved -- may have just convinced myself I was. Barely been able to pray or read my Bible since, and have fallen into old sinful patterns without much struggle anymore.. I keep looking for articles that provide some hope, but I feel like I know what's done is done and I'm just trying to convince myself of something that isn't true...

Do you also experience fear?

Yes. There are passages in the scripture I can't read without fear.
It is so terrible that I used to love these things and now I am feared of them.

The same exact thing happened to me...........I used to love reading the bible and now I fear it..........I fear what it says instead of enjoying it.

I know EXACTLY what you are experiencing. The same has happened to me. I hate saying this, but it still gets worse. I can barely function most of the time. I'm sorry I can't offer any advice on what to do. I pray CONSTANTLY for the Holy Spirit to return but He hasn't. What did you do to cause this?

I am praying and repenting every day too.
In my case it was just a few ours after I received gods gift. It is very ironic and I am very ashamed. But I lied on the phone to get a job... Soon after that I realised what I had done and in this moment the spirit went out of me and I broke down in tears, fear and cried...
The following nights and days were full of dark visions of hell and other nightmarish things. In this time I thought it was over so I yielded to some lustfully thoughts because sin became strong in me again. I sinned a few times but then decided to live for god and keep his commands. Then one day I woke up and felt like I had become just a sinner and I cried out because I got the hunch that I would have been able to get the spirit back while the darkened and nightmarish state was upon me.
But I thought it was over for me so I sinned a few times, like I wrote... I am so sad.

Did you lie knowing it was wrong? Did you repent of that sin right away?

I wasn't really aware of it. I thought I had to present myself in a way that so that I would appear more competent. I tried to repent immediately but I couldn't.
Maybe I couldn't because I thought that one sin would send me to hell. After that my heart changed and I couldn't do anything against it...

Is there other sin that could have caused this? I can't believe the spirit would leave you over such a sin and not allow repentance.

When I received the spirit I became afraid that I could be too weak to live without sin. I mean to sin accidently.
What I am actually thinking is that at some point of that day I began because of that fear thinking about keeping gods commandments, so that I was not longer living in his love. Maybe without noticing it I made the step from living in grace to living under the law. I remember my last thought before that happened was, that I don't wanted to do sth. wrong.

Are you sure that all that you are experiencing now is just feelings of guilt and not because the spirit left you?

Sorry, I didn't write my whole story.
The moment I lost my salvation I broke down and felt that sth. left my body.
I'm pretty sure that I lost the spirit.

4 More Responses

Same thing happened to me............I don't feel the Lord anymore.

Some people here wrote in their entries that they were restored although they had turned back to sin... I did set a lot of hope into their stories of restore, but it does not work. I ask myself if they received their salvation anyway before the act of loosing it.

addition: I mean I think they thought they were saved. But they weren't. When they sinned they thought it would be over for them. That the holy spirit returned and continued work on them means they weren't sealed and therefore not able to loose it permanently.