21 Years Alone

I'm 21 years old.  I think I'm interesting, and I am perpertually trying to be the best person I can be.  My longest relationship was 2 months long.  My longest heart breaking **** buddy was 8 months.  I refuse to be a **** buddy anymore because it sucks.  I decided after I was heartbroken that sex did not matter anymore, it was just an activity.  I have not slept with the same guy twice in a year and a half.  Now I don't know how to get back to the spot where it meant so much.  Nobody has ever wanted to be with me for an extended period of time, and because it hasnt happend in the past I have a hard time thinking it ever will.  I think that I am attractive and fun to be around, but I feel that every chance I have given a guy has ended in heartbreak.
Della26 Della26
18-21, F
3 Responses Aug 7, 2010

Wow, wholeheartedly agree with rockguy....listen to him, I know I will!!<br />
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But I was in the same position as you. I think its the guys we choose. I had the **** buddy for 7 mos that broke my heart, other that most if my relationships didnt last more than a few months. Then I finally decided to go for the not obvious choice. I started dating a close friend that already knew me well. It happened so gradually, my feelings for him. Now we've been together a year. It might not last but now I know how to and what to look for , for the right guys.<br />
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I wish you luck.

Della... Della Della Della...<br />
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First off, you're 21. You are being way too hard on yourself. You're barely legal to go to a bar and get a drink - and you're writing yourself off already? <br />
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Let's put it this way - if you're looking for the stereotypical thing, which is get a man, have some kids, live life... *YAWN*... then fine. You have exactly 6-7 years to do that in before you'll start having trouble conceiving a child. That's a very long time to date and find the right guy. <br />
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I'm certain that you're probably a very sweet girl. the fact that you're intimate with guys so quickly tells me that you have a ton of love to give, and you want to latch on to a man that will reciprocate. Here's your problem though. Giving away the "keys to the kingdom" so quickly will cause the guy to LOSE INTEREST. Guys aren't attracted to the personality of a woman who will go all the way that fast, much less do they respect them. And that's advice from a Man's Man, so you can take that to the bank. <br />
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You need to work on YOU. I say this a lot, but it works - look in the mirror. Take a good, long look. Now, imagine you're a guy that you would want to be in a relationship with. Would you date you? I'm sure you're attractive (obviously if you're that sexually active), which actually piques MY interest in you, but your self-respect is in the gutter. People can't read your mind. Guys you are interested in will likely not know your past, your achievements... so they don't really know you. <br />
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But you know you. And if you're being honest with yourself, there's probably a list of things you know you should be doing to better yourself but you're not. Go do those things. I'm sure you've dreamed of what your life would be like if it were perfect - or dreamed of a life you could be proud of. So why not get what you want? Don't lie to yourself. Know what light you want people to see you in. Know what kind of daily life you want for yourself. Then, go get both of those things. <br />
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Secondly, know what a "real man" wants. He wants a little courtship. He wants a game, a challenge. He wants a girl that can bust on him and break balls and be funny without being a tomboy. Someone engaging. Someone he can count on, but keeps him on his toes. <br />
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You're young Della. You have a lot of time and a lot of love to give. Don't give it away for nothing. Build a temple unto yourself. Be your own superhero. KICK MAXIMUM ***. And never, ever think you have all the answers, because in the end, nobody does. Dare to take advice and try something different. Dare to do a mad power grab and take all that you want in life. If you work hard, and have a good strategy, believe me, you will get there. <br />
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I believe in you. Cheers to your future!

I think one of the main problems you have is the kind of guy you go after. I think if you have a chance to maybe meet some new people this will open up possibilities for you! You sound like a great person to get to know, so put yourself out there socially and the right guys will notice.