I Feel Like I'm Running Out of Time and I'm Only 20
Thanks so much for listening
I've never done anything like this, but I fear that my circumstances are so embaressing that I wanted to express them separate from my identity.
See, I'm a 20 year old girl....I've never loved anyone. I thought I did, but I am starting to realize that I fall in love with the IDEA of someone and when they turn out to be different than that ideal i've set in my head, i lose all feelings for them. I've never found anyone that loved me. I hear that I'm in the prime of my life, that I'll never be more beautiful or amazing or attractive.....this terrifies me. What if this is the best I'll ever be, and it's still not good enough? I spent all my years in high school depressed that I wasn't good enough. Now, however, I feel withdrawn, resigned to my fate.
Friends talk about hooking up with people....lots of people....as if it's the easiest thing in the world. I've only kissed 5 boys...and only one was more than once. I think I'm just bad at it. Or, maybe, I'm attracted to people who are way out of my league.
I mean, is it possible to find someone who takes your breath away, when you are incapable of taking away someone else's breath?
I'm just....I'm afraid....I'm a 4 that's looking for a 10.....
I don't know
Maybe this is totally normal