Why I Am Afraid..

I am afraid of never finding someone who really loves me because I'm not looking when you are looking you bound never finding him/her you may think someone is attractive but there is a possibility that someone better is out there does that make sense? I joined this group way back when I was dealing with a deep depression of never finding that one because i was in a relationship I guess you can call it that , With a man who never really loved me in the first place he may have told me he loved me but it wasn't true. So I gave him myself in hoping I could make him love me get what I'm saying? So he was my first and only later on my parents found out and we lost touch for a bit we started up again on and off talking online stuff like that then it just stopped why? I couldn't sneak talking to him any more my parents had me on lock down so a couple of months go by and I was really missing him and so I IM him saying " I miss you." I Love you.' Please talk to me." etc... He get back to me about a couple of days later and he tells me he is married now? WHAT!!!!! But me being me he puts on the ole' charm and pulls me back in with " I wish I was married to you." "I miss you." "I love you" " "I want to be with you" etc... Being sensitive and emotional he talks me into being with him again it didn't happen i couldn't go through with it I never wanted to be... the other woman.......................An all of this happened because I was searching for the one who would love me, hold me, and make me feel safe what did it get me more heart ache and brokeness.............Now I don't Bother with searching any more why? Because there has been someone there all along right in front of me the whole time his name was Jesus this past year I Re-Dedicated my life to Jesus Christ been raised in church all my life and I just finally Gave it all to Him: So now I'm waiting for my prince to come and take me away as his wife no more searching just patiently waiting for who God has for me!
Just figured this might help some of you Guys and Gals....You should know God has someone special out there for all of you if you are just patient an wait or Just dedicate your life to Jesus and he will provide that someone for you....

P.s. If you don't like what i said sorry its who i am and I will never be Shot Down..