Nobody Wants Me

My love is not good enough. Any girl I have had a crush on. Any girl that's I've liked. Anyone I've loved .. or even wanted to love .. has made that perfectly clear. Nobody wants me. Nobody wants to touch me. Nobody .. my love isn't wanted. I'm not wanted. Oh of course, I've heard people say that someone will ..... but it never happens. Watch others find someone. Watch them cheat, be abusive, and they get another chance. And then another. And another. I can't even find someone to hold. Can't find my first, ever, kiss. Nobody will try ... which says so much more than any cliche about waiting. Nobody will try, not even an internet relationship ... even here, nobody wants me ...

Cursedboy Cursedboy
36-40, M
103 Responses Nov 5, 2008

I feel that way too...I'm slender and 38 years old...never had children, but people always say "the skinny girls always get men", but it's not true. I give and love and yet no one wants me. I think I will probably die alone and unwanted. Although I'm pursuing a great career in college, able to pay my own bills and way in life, and cook to please nearly any palette...I can't seem to find a man who could ever truly love me..just those who look my way, but turn away when they notice my lazy eye.
I don't understand why I'm not viewed as a woman who wants to find love and have a family...I feel like I'm God's ugly joke to this world.
Have you ever met someone that you hated, but never could understand why you hated that person? That's matter how much I do for others, I will always be hated, unwanted, and rejected.

funny... not how you feel..but I always think of the men in control of the dating and who will and who won't...then for sone reason I am vaulted to this site..and see you..a gentleman complaining of a simular situation. Good luck....there is someone else out there with the same problem..looking fr the same answer.....

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I just lost my virginity to a guy I thought was worth it and simply because he's the first person to ever want me, now he won't speak to me and I realise it was just in the moment
Life is a circle of unrequited love, but reading the responses I realised I'm not alone and that I need to go do something about what I feel
You should too
Let's be honest love is pain it always results in pain in the end
But it's always worth, otherwise we wouldn't be sad about no one loving us
I hope you all found someone

I am in a wheel chair. My wife die almost nineteen years ago. I am a poor man in wealth; rich in the wisdom of being of nearly being 60 years old. I could take a house guess into my home, but I have no money any thrills. I don't know if my junk will even work. Sex maybe a little challenging seeing since I broke my neck and I can not get myself out in the dating seen because of not enough money to go out and still I have to live under the care of my brother who gets me out bed in the morning and he needs to put me back in bed usually before it turns dark in the evening.

This is a really old thread but I thought I'd share my experience since this seems to be a common problem nowadays. I'm 19, I've loved 2 girls in my entire life, like not even a crush or lust, it was proper love and it broke me so much. I still feel the pain in my heart today even though this was a while ago. I've never been on a date, kissed a girl, or had sex. Nobody has even showed the tiniest bit of interest in me at all, not ever. Nevertheless, I'm still here sadly, still struggling on with my train wreck of a life constantly trying to find just one person who might love me. It's a tough world, sometimes we feel like everyone else is happy and able to jump in and out of relationships like they were nothing but there are more single people in the same situation as us than we think there is. Can I just say to everyone keep strong, those dumb slots will eventually realise that they would like to settle down with a decent, honest guy. I have been told I'm good looking, smart, funny, kind, caring etc etc. So if all of that is true then how can I have been single for my whole life? It's not like I'm ignorant towards people who show interest. I'm very observant and have studied behavioral psychology and sociology so I can read people's actions and body movements quite well. Nobody has ever shown any interest in me, I don't even have that many friends for reasons not known to me

Hi fellow friends,
Let me tell you all a story about love. Love is something that can be so strong that it can be first and last thing you will wake up to, or it may hurt you till you feel like killing yourself. From my experience, Ive been through the best of both worlds. When you find someone to love, my advise is to never ever hurt her/him. Always be true, caring and honest to her/him ,and never take advantage if he/she is being nice even if she/he says "I love you forever". Many a times when people fall in love and get into a relationship, they fail to realise that even if you are beaming with happiness now, you may have to say goodbye to that love one someday. No one here is alone or unwanted, I am confident that if you act natural and just be yourself, a person that will truly love you will appear. And when he/she does, you will be the luckiest person on earth for having someone that loves you and only you.
I wish everyone all the best in their love lifes! Goodluck and have faith :)

No one wants me either. I have watched my friends go through relationship after relationship and then they turn to me and say that I'm so lucky I don't have to go through that stuff, but i'm not lucky. Far from it. I feel worthless, like no one will ever find me attractive. No one's ever even flirted with me before and to me my first kiss is a far off dream. I get what you mean, and honestly I don't know how to help you. I just hope that knowing that there is someone out there who knows how you feel helps even just a little bit.

I can totally relate. Felt like a reject my entire childhood. No I am starting to feel okay with myself but yes, every guy I ever loved never felt the same way and it is a pretty devastating feeling. This is why I am not really in the dating scene. I am all for going to gatherings and meeting people but to go on dating sites, doesn't appeal to me. That is just too much of a leap of faith for me that I just don't want to take.

I certainly will agree since the times today are so much different than years ago when finding love the way that our parents found love back then since it was so very much Easier for them meeting one another which today it is very extremely difficult, especially for us men that really hate being Single And Alone when i thought by now i would've been settled down with a Good wife and family that i still Don't have today. There are many of us Good men out there still available which many of us hate going out all the time by ourselves since many of our friends were very Blessed to find the love of their Life with their children. I always meet the Wrong women that are such Losers since they think their God's gift to men with a very bad Attitude that many of them Do have these days which explains why us nice guys Do finish last which we really have No reason to ever Blame ourselves at all. Society has really Changed for the Worst over the years unlike years ago it was certainly much better than today, and finding love was a lot Easier like i have just mentioned which many Marriages did last so much longer which many of our family members are still together today as i speak. I really wish that i could've been born at a much Earlier time since i definitely would've been settled down by now with a Good wife and family today.

I think it's generally true what they say, that you find someone when you aren't looking, and when you are having fun, I've found that to be true in my own life.

Think of it like this, if you just say "screw it", and are able to let it go (which I know isn't easy), and decide to say to hell with everyone and go out and live your own life and do whatever you want to do, what's the worst that could happen ? You could move to a foreign country, drive around the country, learn to skydive from airplanes, start a business, or do whatever else you want, it doesn't matter, just find out what you like and have fun.

It's actually a lot of fun to not give a &^%$ what anybody else thinks and do your own thing - screw them, if they don't like you, DOUBLE &^%$ them! In fact, &^%$ everybody! Life is short, try to have some fun while you're breathing, and anybody that doesn't like it can go &^%$ themselves.

Then, if you find yourself drinking water out of a facet behind a gas station while you're riding your motorcycle around the world, and some woman starts asking you how you manage to have so much fun ...

To say it another way, if it is all going to suck anyway then you might as well have some fun.

You know, you could do all those things WITH SOMEONE. And to me, that would be so much more fun ....

I feel the same way. The only thing different is just me being female. Even if you or I can't see it, someone loves us.

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I love u

I feel the same way. But im a female with PCOS so i cant blame Anyone for not wanting me. Just trying to deal.

wait, just curious, why would Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome cause someone to not want you? I have PCOS as well, but I don't see why it's that big of a component on whether I can find someone to want me or not?

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I feel the same way. I was somewhat desirable in my 20's. but 30's and now I am mid 40's is a failure period. I have a asymmetrical face, through no fault of my own. Since assymetrical faces has to do with your bones.. and it would cost me maybe $ 50,000.00 to correct my facial bones.
I am not attractive. I can look somewhat normal with make up. But, when I take pictures of me and post them on dating sites. Men always think, i am very attractive. But once they meet me... they don't find me attractive.
The constant rejection makes me cry often and wonder, if I am not better off dead.
No one deserves such misery.
I never have been married or had children, unlike my other friends fat and skinny.
My inner pain has caused me damage to my psychological well being. I have been mentally hospitalized 4 times. I could deal with being a little unattractive, but when you have a different face. Its different. I would like to say, it gets better when you age. But, in reality it doesn't. The same people who talked about people in high school grow up and have kids, which are shallow and mean.
I am hanging on by a thread myself. But, I hope everyone can find acceptance before it leads to mental issue like what I have.

Hey Im dealing with the same stuff
It's like nobody likes me anymore I've been told I'm the kindest guy around
I've told I'm sweat too,I did have a girlfriend at 1 point but she broke up with me and me personality I think I'm ugly(I don't have looks)but let me give you some advice if you have a lot of money a lot of talent and popularity girls will be blinded by that and won't even worry about looks but I think my girlfriend broke up with me because my wealth decreased
And then after that I dislocated my knee and lost most of my talent and most of my popularity and I've been bullied and denied ever since so my message to you is girls aren't worth it i mean you have your whole life ahead of you and it being girl free is making your life 2x easier(trust me)they will make you go bananas🍌🍌🍌🍌😝

We cannot change others but we have to change ourselves! Society values specific things! It values self-confident a lot because self-confident comes from extreme love in childhood and it absorbs love better! So if you have been loved by your parents, you will be loved later! So what we can do about it? It has been shown human mind gets most of its shape during those first years as a child and after that we can’t change our personality or can we? What is a personality? After studying it I finally have find this amazing golden working rule: you can be a self-confident person too! But you first need to be loved! But how? By first loving others! Really? No, not exactly, you just need to be what you have not been so far! What is it? Good guys are not agreeable and women are agreeable in nature, did you knew this? Women like agreeable men! But why non-self-confident guys aren’t agreeable! Well, in the past their parents have made fun of them and in the process they have become defensive! It means they don’t agree with other people on anything! They have their own judgments instead! This is not a sexy thing! Did you know it? Anyway, when you are in the society, try to accept the norms! You don’t need agree with any specific person, just remember or try to feel what the norms of the whole society is! Then defend it! People get absorbed to you more! You can have your ideas in the framework of the predefined values by the society that you are now agree with! And let me to tell you something! You end up being surrounded with so many girls and eventually like every self-confident boy your life changes easily too! You wear specific clothes and act specifically and then you have to trust and have the values as a personal value! Please do it! You need to belong to something after all! Be with people and love them! This is really true! Bullies and bad people do exist! Pain do exist! Nothing is a final solution but try to be more social! Don’t listen to bad boys or good boy’s scenarios! Just carve your way ahead. Here is another golden quote: you feel bad not because of being lonely but because of not trying hard! It is true! If you go and ask 5 girls out and all reject you, at night you will feel great as if they have said yes! but you will eventually receive a yes answer!
Most of the negative talks are the product of abuse, never talk negatively to yourself! You become what you think about! Even if people are giving you negative energy, you still can say positive affirmations to yourself! Know simply what you want and what you like! Be tough on yourself! and finally know that feeling bad will always remain with you but you have to continue!

Well I am facing the same situation. Never dated anyone or let's say nobody ever wanted to date me. Maybe because i am very serious about my career and it's just didn't happen for other person to think of me as someone they wanna date. But then i feel lonely and there's just no one to share my feelings with. I am not desperate to meet someone but not at a good point either to say i am enjoying my life.

OK, but you're a 25 year old female.

He's a 40 year old male.

It's a lot tougher for men than women to find someone that loves them. It's a lot tougher for a man to be approached by a woman that loves him than it is for a woman to be approached by a man that loves her.

Most women will always be approached by men MUCH MORE OFTEN than men will be approached by women. Men just fall in love with women faster or easier than women fall in love with men. If women fell in love with men as fast as men fall in love with women, there would be very few single women and multitudes of divorced men.

Hell, in my life I fell hard enough for 5 different women that they all knew what I felt about them but I never kissed any one of them on the lips ever. Not one woman. Not one time.

Same here. :L
I'd be a really good boyfriend, I'm caring, Loving and been told im a great guy. I have had NO luck with people in my day to day that i have been attracted to so i tried internet dating and no one will even view/reply to anything i send. I even have people make sly jokes about the way i look at work, people dont even want there coats after if mine has touche theres. Whenever i say "i'll help you out" they always reply "please dont". I'm literally so ugly that no one wants to be my friend let alone date me. :'(

My story is your story. you are not alone.

Okay, so i sat here procrastinating a lot of my uni work, wondering how it has been 2 years, countless dates and still no man to really appreciate me in the same way as i have treated them.
From a womans point of view, it is just as hard to be noticed as it is for a man, infact, it is actually harder, I'm a pretty motivated, strong and independent chick and whilst quite intelligent with a great positive personality I find it still just incredibly hard to find the right guy for me, or have someone that actually loves me instead of just likes me because I'm a nice girl but could never imagine themselves with me or 'doesn't want anything serious right now' constant excuses to make it seem like a nice way of saying, I only like you because you're good in bed.
I often question what it takes to meet somebody who sees you more then just an object, or how long I'll have to wait until i get the really feel and understand what love feels like and not just being stuck in lust. I often feel as though everytime i have a good feeling about someone going somewhere, it often doesn't. What does this mean for me? This is just something I'll never understand but I often feel quite lonely and broken on the inside and for someone who holds such a strong facade, I strive for happiness that isn't art or narcotics. I strive for happiness that i can share with somebody else, instead of just myself.
Anyway, Cursedboy, I know exactly how you feel, I understand that need, but remember, women feel the same desire too, they just don't know how. men and women are exactly the same, they are just as scared as eachother. somebody will want you, and somebody will want me too. I think only time will tell. time hurts, but sometimes things happen for a reason

Well, melbo123, I could say that at least you're dating. That's further than I ever get. Can I ask you something? Do you date guys that are always of the same type? Because you say that the guys you have dated have said that they "don't want anything serious right now" (a b/s line, imo, whether from a man or a woman), maybe you should try going out with a guy who isn't of the usual type you would go for. Sort of, think outside the box, so to speak. Huh, I wish I could follow this too, but, as I said, I don't even get to dating stage. Barely even get a polite response to a greeting, to be honest.

I guess I know that there are women out there that must be going through the same thing. It's just that, any that I encounter seem to be waiting for a George Clooney type to show up. Or, at least, not me. I'm not saying that men aren't the same, that there aren't a lot out there waiting to meet a Jennifer Hawkins look-a-like or something. I guess a fault of society is that most people tend to go for someone who will impress their friends most of all.

Huh. 'Somebody will want you .. " That might have worked 20 years ago (and even only barely then), but now, it's only a collection of words.

hmm.. Cursedboy, you definitely made me reflect on the men that have been in my life, I've dated the 'mr tall, dark and handsomes', of the world, but i'm not sure what my 'type' is i guess, i generally just go with what the chemistry is like, because chemistry is very important to any relationship but i guess if you are asking in a sense of aesthetics, well, all the men i have ever dated have all been quite attractive, but their beauty on the inside always made them so much more attractive but that beauty on the inside, it has gotten to a point where i question the trust i have in myself and the person i am with, how much i trust my own judgement, how much i trust them and whether i am analyzing things far too early (which typically is something women are incredible at). i tend to steer clear from your typical wanky bloke and have only really been with men i thought were honest but they all seemed quite unstable.
women are looking for somebody who can hold their head up high, confidence and stability, they are the three most attractive things wayy before looks are remotely considered. when there is no baggage, it is almost a no brainer that this should be it, but people find dating as a game and some people can be plain rude. im lucky that in my 22 years of life, i've only felt lustful feelings for a man and that im lucky my time has never been wasted for no longer then a year and it has only happened three times.
i see the pros and cons of being single everyday, i sit and wonder who my prince charming will ever be, but i have one rule, once i am screwed around the first time, there is literally just one chance because i don't like wasting my time. so patience is a virtue as some would say, and in this love game, patience is essential. until then, my belief is that life has to happen first before a successful relationship can fall into place because if you are never happy with yourself then you'll never find someone who can reflect that happiness off you.

I feel the same pain, I'm 25 and spent the about the last 10 years trying to get a date with only 2 results. I feel like a monster and people keeping telling me I'm good looking and that ill find someone but no one ever likes me.
And to make things worse I feel in love with my friend but she dont feel the same way about me and just wants to be friends.
No one seems to understand how much it hurts, i even feel pain in my heart that follows down my arm and though my fingers.
I dont have a soul mate :(

but why?
You just too nice ? sensitive ......too caring?...
too desperate?...
my father was married 4 times ...had women coming thorough the and he was just a selfish ,cold guy.... yet women adored him.......crazy
sadly a lot of women a r e drawn to arrogant, selfish men.....
I'll give You that.....
the deal here is not to show what do You really feel
,keep it cool pressure commitment .....

have few girlfriends at the same time !!!!
so women see You are popular ..its all a theater here
...go out to the movies on friday with Susan ,and then go out for lunch with Maggie on sunday ....D: .......enjoy life .......
,heck I would buy a motorcycle and ride it ...screw stupid women.....

pull out tarot cards here on U ...and first card which come out..../Yes I'm a tarot cards reader/.....D:
is 7 cups...which indicates U r not seeings things clearly ,clouded judgment ,You are misinterpreting reality ,wishing for something doesn't make it happen ...there are however many more options open!!!!...... then You recognize .....
so thats like Your fist card .......You can read more about it google 7 cups....
You will start few new things ,good energy

it is complicated ...........and it is tough world ..........there is only that many attractive ppl with good heart a lot of others are very artificial and selfish...
and often these who are good looking are very difficult and spoiled but not always......

there are folks who don't look that great and also can b pretty
I think You just need to be patient and careful ,
and maybe try to go for a type You normally dont go sometimes...
it may be surprisingly good ..........D:...
don't loose hope ....h e must be somewhere ........!!!

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you know i had that problem for a long time myself man. and i still struggle with getting women to like me let alone love me i'm an assholeish arrogant ***** who hides behind a wall of machoness to hide how afraid i actually am of rejection, but i still go out there i still decide everyday that when i see a pretty girl im gonna try to impress her show her how im different if it doesn't work then she's probally a hoe anways. thats kinda how i had to start looking at this picture women don't want a guy that's just going to sit back and wait for things to happen because if you don't act at some point and decide at some point that you are worth having a pretty girl love you than you never will. and every word of this is true in highschool i was a jock i was good at football and still no girls liked me because of my niceness. this all changed at 19 though when i literally changed my entire mindset in order to prove to at least one girl that looked halfway decent i was worth something and college was my chance. everyday at the end of dinner in the mess hall i would go from table of girls to table of girls trying to get numbers and meet people till i found a girl i knew i could get. too bad she was a total hoe and cheated on me with other dudes and made me jealous with her past which only made me upset and feel insecure about myself which is something to watch out for btw. but the point is you can't quit because if you do you're only letting yourself down. now ive slept with one other girl since then (fling one night stand) and i turn up at the club trying to find a mate when i can but i take it one day at a time and i never lose hope or quit although i know it could be quite a long time till my next relationship or screw. sorry if this is a bit of a reality shock but this is pretty much the truth in a nutshell. don't be just that friend set yourself apart from friend status, if a girl aint giving you the kind of attention you want then you give her nothing of your precious time or energy cause nothing in life is worth getting no reward out of im sorry. i hope this helps some of you guys out there i know that reading this post has given me some hope cause i least i know im not in this struggle alone.

Im 21.. I had my heart stomped on many occasions... and also have a hard time finding a girl to actually love me...I know it may seem extreme to say this..but after so many years feeling unloved..I often think of suicide due to the agony of being alone...

I feel you man. I have never experienced love, and i dont think i ever will. People just dont seem to like me.

Thank you..venting doesn't really help or change..but I guess it's a start..

But if its the only thing left on your mind and you do not have any options left.
I would love to have some friends that at least passed the ball over to me so to speak but I learned too late what true friends are and that you should not be nice to people that do not deserve it or have done something that guarantees you it will pay off.


I understand, and honestly, I get the same thought and feelings sometimes. Most people don't understand it. They think that, if you want to be touched, if you want to be 'loved', just go and pay for it. They don't understand that that isn't love. It isn't being loved. It's not giving love. It's not sharing love. And to me, a life with out love isn't a life that I want to live. That I do it every day is bad enough as it is ....

I paid for love not too long ago. It made me feel so empty.. then they say do online dating...pfft yeah right...they'll date you for a day then find someone better...

That's exactly why I won't go and just pay for it. It just seems so false.

I've never had success with online dating either. Never had a response or a reply. Now I'm starting to get emails from the dating sites saying that they are going to delete my profile because of a lack of activity. Yeah. I wonder why I haven't been active on them ....

it could be worst ......I know many ppl living in the most miserable marriages where they can't divorce /kids,money issues/ and they live loveless lives without any hope for the better ...

by the way You may want to go to energy healer and try to unblock Your chakras ,particularly first chakra and heart chakra it could have immediate pos effect on Your life....

Anyone can leave a relationship they don't want to be in.

You are only 21 for God sake ...
buy Yourself a motorcycle and have fun...screw stupid girls who don't want You ......

How exactly do you screw someone who doesn't want you? I'm sorry, but in my book, that's called rape.

I meant dont care about ppl who dont want You not "screw " ...

anyway I was researching the subject further more
and there is a lot of info on the web now ...but some basics about successful dating are :

if this is all annoying ..pls never mind ....!!!!..I'm just writing this for others so they may benefit from it and understand it ..........

- You have to love Yourself somehow ,even if You do not like Yourself at this moment .... You need to discover how to like yourself more ...

if You truly like Yourself others will see that .....its a must....!
Dont tell them You were unsuccessful ....U have to convince Yourself and them that You are a " catch" ........D:
also U have around 2 seconds when a person sees U to make great first impression....
looking straight in her eyes /u can look at the bridge of nose if U dont like looking in the eyes/ standing straight with big smile on the face its a m u s t ..!

- You have to be happy on Your own somehow/or at least pretend it lol/ ....its very important ....!!! other ppl will enhance Ur life but You are ultimately responsible for Ur own happiness....others will see it right away .......

- again You have to have Your own passions /hobbies passionate about something ...girl will think ...hhmm what an interesting guy ....he has a lot going on ...its good to hang out with him...he is not one of those boring ones ...
/there must be something U like golf,scuba,cars ,good books anything/.....

- more You want the girl ..more power You give her ....that person rules in a relationship who cares less ......less U care .....less confident they feel about You and actually want to chase You and get U ....
try not to show desire ....

- dating /women its a numbers game .....more women You contact ,meet ,date
bigger chance You have for a relationship ....Don't ever focus on one only keep meeting,dating many of them ...having social life is very important ..big plus others will see it and again will find U interesting....

- being funny ,physically fit ,good hygiene ,nice clothes is an obvious things
also having some good skills in bed its a plus ....

there is a tone of info on the web ......
there are tips on how to have good first date and how to attract ppl ...
its like sales .....You are a product You are trying to sell.....
there are many technics for it ,,,,
ppl who do not bother learning these technics will not be successful "sellers "
there are many folks like you but having more knowledge can give You a lot of power.......

U r welcome !!!


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Well ... before even answering the thread i have to say, i in a fit of annoyance and bad feelings typed into google "why does no-one wish to date me" ... this thread was one of the first items on that list and i was curios and read through both your comments and most of the replies. I had never heard of this site before and never been near but now i have a profile and that is thanks to you and the folks below who i wish to offer a response or at the very my respect for speaking out. However to the original post i say this ... I know how you feel. I am a 26 year old guy who has never once been in a relationship and never once found anyone who sees me as anything other than a friend, no matter how i feel. The truly awful fob off of someone saying "stop trying so hard and it'll happen" or the ever wonderful "there's someone out there for you, just not me" ... they **** me off and make me angry now as in 26 years i have never had someone return my feelings, i am (i hope and like to think) a likable guy and i have a lot of female friends but out of those no-one likes me other than a friend even if i feel more. I can live with this because when i take a step back i'd rather they be happy, than with me however just like yourself Cursedboy .... i wonder, wish, lament and get severely depressed or pissed off at times wondering if it will ever happen for me. I too have met women in abusive relationships who constantly confound and confuse me by returning to the same guy over and over ... I just wish that those women i have met in bad relationships would look beyond their usual "type" and see the guys out there who maybe they generally ignore and think; for once maybe something different with someone who won't use me would be great.I have no answer to your problem as i haven't found one myself. But i can say if i ever find the answer that works for me ... i'll let you know in case it may someday work for you too

You're so right with those sayings. "Stop trying so hard and it will happen", is just so infuriating, mainly because if you do stop trying, it's assumed that you have given up and aren't interested anymore. "There's someone out there for you ..." feels like some line that is given to heartbroken teenagers. Not adults. That line barely gave me any comfort when I was 18, now at 38 it's just a cold collection of words.

Ever notice how all these sayings are always, or at least often, said by people who are in relationships?

Cursedboy I am right there with you. That feeling that nobody wants your love. No one has tried and those who did walked away without warning. It really does make you wonder if something is wrong with you and why nobody wants my love.

I wrote this 6 years ago, and it is even more relevant now than it was back then ....

Been singing the same song for 5 years. If I'm so great why does nobody want my love? It's getting harder to date. People don't understand why I've been single my whole life. There must be something wrong with me. But to be honest I'm beginning to think that maybe there is something wrong with me. The universe really is playing a cruel trick on me.

To someone my own age and the opposite gender ... i can only offer commiserations :( ... we are all in the same boat in this thread ... I mean, seriously? ... what the hell is so wrong with us that no-one wants to see as more than friends ??? ... surely there is at least one person out there who could love us? ... myself i feel like i am a damaged person physically because i have two mechanical valves in my heart and emotionally because the condition that made me get the valves also cost me some very close family members ... but surely after fighting off those odds there would be someone who could the person inside ? ... so far apparently not :(

i feel the same sometimes just gotta push through

Very hard for a Good man like me to find a Good woman to settle down with these days since the Good ones are now all taken.

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Hugs. Yeah, I totally hear you.

May God bless you and may your dream lover become a reality. I pray that in the next few days you will meet the person God has always wanted you to find. Amen. Please reply with authenticity, support, and respect

I understand where you coming from because im in the same situation as you. You just gotta learn to move on in your life if nobody wants you its their loss thats whats wrong with women today they dont want a good man, You sound like a great guy just keep your head up man dont worry about it. thats what im doing.

That's a bit offensive that you say women don't want good men. I, for one, haven't even been asked out in 6 years and even then I only ever turned one person down for a date *in middle school*. We just have bad luck it's not "women today".

it's got nothing to do with bad luck. it's all got to do with self confidence and how well you can bounce back to that confident state when the pressure is on male or female.

Self confidence isn't something that you can just conjure up, or pluck out of the sky whenever you want or need it. And it's not something that anyone else can tell you you have, or don't have, or how to get it. 'Self' is a key word in there. And everyone finds their self confidence in different ways.

thats some real **** dog. literally want needs to be done in order to live happy as a male in this world.

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I hear you... I'm a 40 year old single dad, I adore my daughter, I run my own business, help run another, own a house and truck, college educated, active in volunteering for search and reasue as well as fire, sit on the board of a credit union and educate new families with habitat for humanity. However, I haven't dated in over a year because I always seem to be either just a temporary distraction or am the crutch to help a broken woman get back on her feet and then they move on to someone else when they can walk on their own... leaving me wondering WTF... So I've chalked it up to Occam's razor, all things being equal the simplest answer is the correct one which means the problem is with me so I figure why even bother getting involved with someone just to get knocked down again...

Did you ever find anyone? In the same boat and of the same age - only for even longer than you.

No. Still haven't found anyone. Not even a date ....

How about this - I am attractive physically an in my personality and have no trouble getting a guy to date me, but I can't seem to hook them. They always end up looking at me like I'm just for fun, never long-term. I desperately want a relationship that leads to a lifetime together, yet I know I have trouble opening up at the critical point in the dating cycle, which I've come to realize is around week 3. I have literally had 6 relationships in the past 2 years and each guy has told me they don't want anything long-term (or don't have those feelings for me), and right after we break up, they find a girlfriend. It's insane and it's driving me insane. I can't correct this defect, I've tried, but every time a relationship fails I just retreat even more and become less able to be vulnerable.

HI NoHopeLeftNow ... have to say whilst i don't know you personally, your situation sounds like many of my female friends. They generally find someone on a night out drinking or dancing, they fall quickly in lust (certainly not love) and things go from there until the enevitable differences happen and they realise that this is not what they want, also usually occuring around 3 week mark you mentioned. The only thing i can advise from there is i was able to point three of my friends towards other friends and/or acquiantances they already that i also knew. They had known these guys for years but only in friendship terms, they had never noticed the similarities in their personalities or preferences before because they were blind to it for a multitude of reasons ... So after that mini (bugger almost sounded like a rant lol) story my only adivce would be to look closer at the friends you have now. If you find you still don't have an attraction to them specifically, then maybe try looking for someone with more of their combined qualities :)

it's no defect of yours you've just yet to find a suitable person to match your energies with. for a relationship to work both parties need to be ready for such a commitment and what it sounds like in this situation is that both you and the other person seem to want different things you want the guy to care enough about you to pursue the real you that is hidden behind a veil of disappointment and fear of not only your past relations, but any future chance you might have at settling down in the future. i think you'll be happy once you find someone caring enough to actually be with you and wait till your able to love him fully now he might have problems of his own, but when you really want to make it work with someone the path will be found.

Why would any self respecting man be coaxed into a long-term relationship with a ****.

how about You take next relationship very slow keep it cool not show them You care so much even if You are dying inside ...try to become friends with them first and then take it to the next will be hard to get rid of You when they will become emotionally attached to You .....
one night stands never really work.......

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So what is the solution? I have also tried all the suggestions of being sociable, helpful, joining groups, reading books on dating and social skills. What do we do when none of that works? Even religion fails in this area.

I have learned from reading forums that women are attracted to the aggressive abusive type. That's why the jerks always win all the women they want. Evolution has programmed us this way because Darwin was right. It is survival of the fittest. Those aggressive genes are attractive and those are traits meant to be passed on.

Our genes are not meant to be passed on for those of us who are nicer and wiser. Sorry I don't have any good news for anyone here. Though I am happy to join this group of sad saps. We are not alone. That's a plus!

I wonder about that too. What do we when nothing works? What do we do when all that we have tried, when everything that has been suggested ... and with a so-called guarantee that it will work ... just don't. When we don't fit in to the clubs and groups. When we don't belong in the classes, or at work. When there's nobody to connect with at the library, or the gym. When we don't meet anyone while we are out for a walk. When we get ignored at volunteering, shouted at, even turned away ....

All anyone says is to keep trying. Yet, there comes a point where we have nothing left to try with.

We have each other. We join our own group; this group! This is where we belong!!

After the post and response before i have too say i heartily agree with you both !!! and here here !! to the group of lads who whilst being beyond unlucky in love have found at some small comfort in knowing we aren't alone

we belong anywhere we feel like we belong

I agrre 100% with you. We can put ourselves out there as much as we want but that doesnt mean we gonna meet somebody, I hate when people tell me that.

it don't matter if you meet anybody or not believe it or not last night i went to the club and got rejected by almost every girl in the room who was single and i did not give one absolute **** because i am me and i am going to have fun regardless of what anybody thinks about it because the only person who can hurt me is me.

Yes, I need to know this as well!

dude you cant give a damn about what they think someone calls you fat be like ***** i bet you got a fat ***** and walk on like you aint said ****. cause at the end of the day your happiness is worth more than theirs or at least it should be.

if you believe You will get dumped ...You w i ll get dumped ...never!!! show any doubts to women...You are a catch !!!!!!!!....its Your new motto ......

also why not to give a chance to a women who is maybe a little heavier or maybe doesn't dress in a hottest way ...
You could help her to loose weight and end up getting a real beauty in the end......

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Cursed boy !!!
Thats why You need to act now ...not some day !!!!!!
and stop calling Yourself cursed ....there is many ppl who would like to be as
"cursed "as You are .....
go to the disabled forum for example and see how many ppl are sick and would love to have Your life for few days ....stop thinking like that ...cause invisible feast will punch You right now /mine/

I'll stop calling myself 'cursed' when I no longer feel that I must be. Simply changing what I call myself on website has never had any effect on what happens off it, and therefore, nor on how I feel.

An invisible feast is rather intriguing though ....

stop feeling sorry for yourself trust me you will not regret it. once you stop giving a damn about your social anxiety and decide to have some fun even if it's just on the smallest of scales do it you'll love it.

And why assume that I don't do anything that I enjoy? Doing something fun is all well and good .... but eventually, at least for me, it gets to a point where I just want someone to share that fun with.

U got it ......its coming at You now ....can You see it ?.....ha,ha,ha....

but seriously ...why not to have few GF instead of one
enjoy life ,have fun.......get a motorcycle or a bicycle lol...go out in a sun ....laugh !!! a magnet ...You already are !!!!!!!! start a blog !!!!!!!!!!

/get Yourself 5-htp supplement if You feel depressed
screw all who dont appreciate You ...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!You are a great man,sensitive and caring ....!

You will find love ..just believe ....You deserve it !!!!
do not get negativity hold You down...sometimes we have to wait long time to appreciate good things ........
it may be just a Your karmic lesson......very

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thats amazing !
omg its so easy to meet people ......You have to open Yourself to it and go to some social gatherings ..if You all do not drink maybe go to a library for an event there or do some sort of courses/like anything real estate whatever./
where You go meet ppl ,travel if You have money ...give an add on a craigs list You are looking for a gym buddies ,join hiking group,dance class,painting class ...go take a dog for a walk in a near animal shelter and who knows maybe U will meet someone nice there ....there are very frendly ppl there with big hearts from my experience .......
come on You guys...dont b shy !!!
T o d a y start thinking that everyone is Your friend !!!!!!!!!!
do it !!!!!! its really very easy to meet new people ...and I dont care how shy You think You re ....Im really shy but I dont care ......I like to talk ......

stop thinking about Yourself that You are awkward and nobody wants You etc NOW

i guarantee 100 % its not true !!!!!!!!
..what a stupid thoughts .!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
....replace them with Im easy going and open a lot even when You do not have to!!!!!!!dont complain...joke ....
be pleasant and ppl will come running to You .....
please post how its all changing for You .....

Well, if all that works for you, then, good for you. But it's never worked like that for me.

do you ever leave your home? if you never go anywhere or do anything how can you expect anything to change in your life?

Of course I go out. What a stupid assumption to make about someone that you don't know. Just because someone doesn't have the same experiences as you do .. and I'm sorry if that is news for you. Or you just don't like your ignorance to be challenged.

What works for one person, won't always work for someone else. That's just life. Another sure sign of ignorance is expecting everyone to be the same as you.


How big of you.

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I’m 24 and I have never kissed a guy let alone dated one. Everyone (well except guys) say that I am pretty, beautiful as well as smart and funny. I am never mean to people, I’m polite and always try to help others (I don’t know about the States, but in Eastern Europe, where I come from, those are seen as good traits). It’s not that I am waiting for a prince on a white horse and refusing to go out with a guy who isn’t in some way perfect – no one has simply ever asked me out, ever. I would like to find my equal though, who sees the world and life like I do. One girl (not my friend, I really don’t have friends, more like acquaintances) said that men are simply afraid of me cause I don’t have any faults – don’t drink, smoke, use drugs, etc. From what I’ve read here - it’s the good people who are the ones with problems finding a partner- well I suppose that most on this planet are simply stupid, weak, addicted to smth bad, or are mean and cruel, and we, the weird ones, are just too few, so we often are and feel alone and out of place. When I was younger (in my teens) I hoped that when I will grow up it will be easier to find someone, that men will be more mature and not all idiots with the only purpose to use me for sex. Now that I am 24 I’m slowly loosing my hopes. Maybe some people are not made for love. I’m thinking of devoting myself to constant studies and seeing what the fate has planed for me. Good luck to all of you – who knows, maybe some of us will eventually find true love. If not – there’s always the next life.

you receive my first heart on this site ... i joined due to this thread and finding someone else own age who has near exactly the same outlook as mine is both refreshing and depressing ... so for what it is worth thank you and know that you are not alone.

I will say this though, devote yourself to your studies whatever they may be ... but leave at least some smal opening in the shell you are undoubtedly constructing, because one thing from i truly notice from this post is that we all still want someone to break through our respective shells and we the beauty inside and respect it ... itruly hope it happens for us all x

ok shoot how about this? if i ever meet you in person i'll take you out on a date being a 25 year old woman without having at least kissed someone is a sin and you sound cool enough to chill with, so if i ever find myself in eastern Europe i'll give you a call. ;)......(see it really is that easy to break the ice yall just gotta do it) regardless of the outcome.

THANK YOU for posting this,this is EXACTLY like me except that I'm 19, thank you,SO MUCH, for posting this,you have no idea what this means to me xx

Exact same situation! No one ever talks to me on the internet or in person, even my own family doesn't want me around. I am nice to people and I am trying to be friends but no one wants to be friends with me at all. It's like I don't exist, kind of feel like a ghost, abandoned and forgotten. I see everyone around me with friends and a relationship with someone but I will never have that. Strange thing to, even in my dreams girls aren't interested. It's a living hell but I guess it is nice to know I am not the only one that shares such misery, alone and unwanted.

Yeah, me too.

I have a few friends and I have a few family members, but otherwise, I do feel your pain utterly and completely. I feel invisible all the time. When I don't feel invisible, the attention feels negative, like I'm doing everything wrong.

do You love Yourself ?.......Do You think You are beautiful ..Do You think You deserve love and attention?...if You d o not think like that noone else will...the hardest thing is to convince Yourself that You are fantastic the whole world will follow ...its like magic..............!!!!!!

I like that line: "It's like I don't exist, kind of feel like a ghost, abandoned and forgotten." I feel the same. Abandoned and forgotten. While the rest of the world moves on. More ****, more weed. Yes, another day. Gone. Tomorrow has already been written off. And the next day, too. And the next week, too. And the next month, too. There's always next year. But that will have to wait for almost another year as Fall is looming and Winter is on its heels. I may have committed suicide by now were it not for my mom. Because she's still alive, I won't do that. So then what? Parece que no le caigo bien a nadie. I don't even have friends, let alone a **** or a date or a girlfriend. WILL SOMEONE PLEASE **** ME and make me feel like you're actually into it? I can pay you. I can do your laundry. I'm getting tired. And old. Boredom has taken on new, heretofore undiscovered heights. Ugh. Ni vale la pena continuar escribir.

sometimes we have to grow up to certain things ...
this all very difficult and we have to have a lot of patience ..
and remember not all is gold what shines......

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I've had a few girlfriends, but never anything real. Only cheaters. No love, only lies and treachery. Dishonesty rules in this world.

I've been alone MUCH more than I've been with anyone. I've been alone for 5 years again now. I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs, and that makes it HARD to find someone compatible. Almost everybody does at least one of those, and so do all their friends, so I'm out. I have a very nice home, a successful business, and am nice looking. I'm honest to a fault, thoughtful, helpful, and generous. I'm very, very kind and polite and courteous and respectful and respectable, but none of that stands for anything. I'm 47 now, and I guess destined to die alone.

I am SO sick and tired of people telling me 'the right one will come along'. Well, if the right one hasn't come along in 29 years of being an adult, she's sure not likely ever to now.

I have almost no family at all (they're all dead), and only a very small handful of friends who are practically never around. I live my life pretty much completely alone, and am now turning into a recluse, and depression is finally taking over. I no longer watch my diet or exercise; just go right to bed after work, and have become addicted to the internet out of boredom or lonliness or both.

At least reading all this, I know I'm not alone in my experience, even though I'm alone in my life.

Seems like this will be me in 10 years. I hate it when people say "The right one will come along", or "You'll find someone one day". It might be OK to say those types of things to a 12 year old, or a 16 year old, or even to someone in their early 20's. But now, they are just words. Simple, cold, words, that carry the same emotional meaning as someone saying that they don't care, and won't try.

I suppose the difference is that I find the internet, by and large, quite boring and very lonely too. Unless I'm specifically looking up information on something, I don't seem to fit in with any online groups, and with out anyone to talk to online, it's quite a lonely place.

yea! this is me here too ! I am always thinking what is wrong with me all my friends similar to me they got married and they have kids but it seems nobody wants me ! I feel like a old salad sitting in the counter which nobody wants to touch it ! anyway i live my life lonely ! i tried to dream sometimes it works specially when i am going to sleep ! about my life as a family I even start talking to my imaginary kids!!! but morning oh no i wake up with a 100 IB on my chest! very heavy pain of emptiness, feeling so unwanted ! anyway I believe i am extra in this world! some people like me are not welcomed to this world !the only wish I have is to have enough power to end this misery one day in morning !

An old salad - those were the perfect words to describe how I feel these days.

I know. I hate those cliche statements. I wish I could sent each person who says such bullshit to the gulag. At least I find interesting stuff online, though. You should do drugs. They help immensely.

To you sir, whilst writing this i sit in a flat i have to leave due to health issues meaning i had to leave my current job, the flat i live alone in and have become depressing used too ... I may not be in your "actual" age group but i was considered an old man by the time i began drinking in pubs when i was 18 ... i have always been alone and have also nearly destroyed my own teeth by grinding the smeggers down when i hear the same falsified platitudes of "the right one will come along" or my personal favourite knife to the kidneys "maybe you're trying too hard, relax and it will happen"

So once again i raise the glass of red wine at my right hand and say to you dear sir and here is hoping that even if; romantically your life is not all you wish. That you find that happiness amongst good friends whether in person or online :)

Cheers to you !!

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It's not fair. i feel like yesterdays trash,i've done nothing wrong.i am my own biggest fool to think someone will even look my way..I feel this way because i feel like a so worthy of another chance.These days theres no time for a sweet guy..My Heart and My Muscle are two different cells,neither wanna give up!

Wow. I'm feeling lonely so I do a search on "nobody wants me" and I find all these others with the same situation. At least now I don't feel as alone. Thanks.


You appear to have done the same as me ... i'm not glad but i am comforted by the fact i'm not the only one and hope that we all find something to challenge or fufill our lives x

i know what you mean, but it takes strength to pull yourself out of this slump.

I can't understand this life in general. As good **** always happen to ******* bad people in both sexes and nice ones finish last, or they never finish at all. I'm thinking I'm an alien or something that landed on a wrong planet. From my early day when I feel different about me than other people I tried to understand humans. Yet it is still in vain. As I learned the ways of the human world, others went on their races, had 4 or 5 digit jobs, got a degree (they had money to do that before getting a job!), have a girlfriend, have a car, nice home, etc. They are shocked (if not laughing inside) when I said I never had a girlfriend. I tried to be like them and not an iota of success like them. Then a realization came to me "**** them, I have better things to do". I stopped my search. I don't know whether I'll find a life partner or not, but I accept whatever life brings me. Then you'll say "you have to work for what you want". Sure, I'm working on my dreams and purposes, but not for this. Anyway, life goes on. 8664 days since landing on this unknown planet.

To you who has found the strength and etermination to continue despite the overbearing social and personal pressures ... i truly salute you

don't give up!

**** off.

I agree with your sentiment ....

It is a horrible feeling being alone and knowing you always will be. Some days I feel ok but most other days I feel this deep emptiness and it actually hurts inside, literally. Makes no sense why girls don't like me, I treat them nice but maybe to nice and like what most of you are saying which is true, they always go for the a**hole. Life certainly is unfair, why can't we have the one we love so much and rid of this pain that hurts so much. :-(

A lot of people don't understand that loneliness can hurt, physically. I've even been to therapists that don't understand that. But then again, I've found that most therapists don't understand loneliness, period. I definatly go through times where the loneliness feels like something physical ... from feeling sick inside, to a coldness that I can't warm up, to feelings of ants and bug crawling over my skin, to having just no energy to do anything. All of those types of things.

Cursed, I have the truth here for you. The reason women avoid you is for a combination of things. This is the truth, coming from another "cursed" man. When you feel like you have that x-factor and **** just isn't working out. Here is what it is, first of all think about the women you are aiming for in an ideal world, who would you LIKE to be with you. If you imagine a 21 year old blonde, you're our of your mind. You're not too old though, believe me. You can always change your life. You will have to walk through the fire to lift the curse. I will explain that in a while. Your problems as I see them:

- Severely negative thoughts and life experiences (this is understandable, but still it is affecting your behaviour in an unattractive way)

- Your looks (loose your ******* weight! It will take 3~5 years of sweat. Just do it man. Your suffering already, might as well suffer in gym. get fit, groom impeccably, adopt an attractive look, since your facial structure isn't the best. Id recommend that you adopt a clean, instead of hot look. Looks always matter to women of any age, no matter what they say. This life is a contest, period. People will sympathise with you and then go back to playing the competition. Don't be that guy who thinks you're actually getting somewhere with sympathy. I'm here to deliver the truth.)

- Your mentalities, the biggest change that you need of all, is mental change. You will need to spend thousands of hours getting rejected, challenging yourself, approaching, failing, giving up, trying again. Losing hope. I guess you've already been doing that but the difference is that you haven't been taking enough risks changing. You need to discipline yourself, start going to the gym. Start meditating, sit down and think about your life your past, think about the competition, where you stand, think about how life has treated you, think about your hopes as a kid, think about everything, let it consume you. Evolve mentally, to the point where you can easily and casually engage any woman, fully accepted in any outcome objection or sex.

Your task ahead is like climbing many mount Everest's with a thousand kilos strapped to your back. No one can help you now but you.

I have the same experience and have been going through it for years and years. The feeling of not being wanted since childhood, has placed a deep hole inside of me. The sense of abandonment and lack of love, makes me cry myself to sleep almost every night. I have cried so many tears over the years. Ever since I was 14 I have dealt with the rejection, not just on a romantic scale, but trying to make friends too. Even my family doesn't care. I care enough about myself, but it's heart wrentching to know no one else does.

I feel like I've always had a hole in my soul too. As a little girl, I thought I had a missing twin or something. Although I've had relationships and friendships before, and have a few really great girls left, by and large, I always feel like a giant outcast, uncool, someone who just doesn't get being human and how it works.

me too but i no longer care about what they think i will still mingle and have fun because damn it if it's all ive got im gonna use it till i lose it.


You took the words right out of my mouth...just replace "girl" with "guy", of course.

how about you replace single with me......yall see what i did there...still that easy

even tough we are many of our kind, we are all alone in our lone house, in our lone life, in our lone world. i use to have a friend who get hookups every montus or so, i just can't onow how he does... im 15, never kissed a girl, never was wanted by any girls, will never be aswell... i've been trying so hard to get a girl to love me that i dont even know why im still hanging in that lone chance of love while she's maybe getting banged by a ****** who doesn't give a **** of her! i cried so many times in this short life that i dont dven feel the falling tears on my face when i get to. as everyone say: we will get loved one day" it wont happen for the majority of us. those peoples are helpless, they wont stop telling you the same thing again and again! and that's the worse of it. they are loved, they just can't understand the real feeling of loneliness and they will never! my name is maxime, from charlevoix in the canada, i dont give a **** if people recognise me here (why the heck would they get here anyway) the feeling of being lone will just replenish itself as they will turn the page and look over other. i think of ending it often those times (hard times in fact) i have no regret of being that sad, anyway, who will ever help me? love me?? why? because peoples tells me ( and for sure they does for you too, so why would you be there anyway) that im ugly, that i better go for a date with the ugliest, that im desespered case. but no. i would better be alone and proud of it than lone and sad with someone i dont like. i think that every's question here today is: why is ithqppening to me?! well, there is no answer to that, really... there will not be any help from around me (and you) and we all know that. now you can comment on my message, i dont think any will notice it anyway...

I thought I'm alone ... Well I think I'll die an old virgin...

if you a girl i think i can change that.....giggidy..still that easy just open up and say what yall wanna say yall.

I feel the same why I'm in high school and no one wants to go out with me I'm ugly and pointless. There is this girl named Sydney that I like in my 6th period class my friend said she likes me but she is always flirting with my friend and its just sad because I really like her but know she probably likes him owell I have no use to keep trying.

Hmmmmm.... I could say I understand... I've never been successful looking for it, ever. But love has fallen into my lap a few times, so technically I've been luckier than you. But... all of them were finding me to be of use somehow. My wife, she wanted escape from her previous relationship. That has been a major strain on us... and now at the end, it made the fatal blow to our marriage easy to land. Before her, my ex girlfriend, she was a rich kid who was just acting out a normal life, not really having one. I was little more than a plaything to keep her from getting bored in the end... So, maybe I've been a bit luckier, but I'm also in a lot of pain for having been so lucky. Don't feel too bad... right now I envy you having loneliness because you are simply alone... being lonely when you're supposed to be mated to someone who doesn't care about you... you don't want to go there, friend.

I totally feel you. I'm 37 years old and feel that I'm pretty. I am successful, compassionate, charming, confident, and yet even if I can get a guy on a date and I like him he disappears. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I try to be a positive person but sometimes I just feel so defeated. I have amazing friends and everyone is shocked that I am still single. I just want someone who I can be myself with; who will look into my eyes and see me for who I am. Ugh. I don't know what to do.

Yes OMG this is me one hundred percent.

I *wish* someone would be shocked that I'm still single. Because that would imply that someone thinks I have worth. But I don't even have a friend who could possibly say that. I'm 38 and still waiting for my life to start. I was called a "late bloomer" during my formative years. I'm still waiting to bloom. I'm yet a seedling, a very old seedling. Not even one shoot has popped up from the ground. Nor will it ever, because, as biology would have it, after a plant's growth cycle has ended, nothing new will form. Which is to say that if nary a tendril has yet emerged from the soil, it never will, for its DNA has already begun the shutdown process. Sometimes I wish to shut it down forcibly, though I won't because my momma tree is still alive, and I promised that I'd never do that to her. ****. I'm doomed.

I was often told that I was a 'late bloomer' too. That's when I wasn't being told that I would just never have friends or relationships at all. I'm 38 too, and now see kids even as young as 10 who seem to have much more relationship experience, and more of a social life, than I've even ever had the chance to have. A plant can't bloom if it never gets any water and sunshine though. If it doesn't get what it needs to grow, it will just wither away and die, still a tiny seed. I guess I just feel like I'm one of those seeds that has been left to wither in the ground ....

u guys can have it all .......dont get discouraged ......

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Yeah. I get tired of heading that I have a great personality though. It's annoying. It's what people say to you when they don't think you're pretty.

I feel the same way. I've prayed to God and nothing. I feel I'm pretty and have something's going for myself, but I never get asked out. Yesterday my friend told me in order to get the guy I want I should send him a picture of my breasts. Why should I cheapen myself. I'm tired of watching my friends get married, go on dates, have options.....while I cannot even get the 50 year old guy I like and I'm 31. What's that say? Even if someone 20 years older than me doesn't want me....who would right. I asked God when I woke up, does He care that I cry myself to sleep?

Well, I hope you don't listen to your friends so called 'advice'. You shouldn't have to do something like that to "get" a guy.

i care and given the chance would like to talk to you more about not only you but how you have made it this far into your life as a woman always single

I hear you there cursedboy,

I had it all once, the job, the trophy wife even after divorce, the trophy girlfriend. I started working when i was 13, YEP 13, and even paid into the tax system then. When I made money hand over fist I had friends, a woman, and family. NOW however, I have been on SSDI as a result of a back injury sustained in the concrete business. Now, Nothing, not a dad gum thing! No Job (i.e. money) means, No girl, no friends, and yep, even family has turned their backs (for the most part anyway)... Sad, but true, people are always chasing the buck... So much for the cliché' "Money can't buy love" I say BS, money buys EVERTHING! BTW, FYI, My Concrete Co. Used to gross 4.3 Million a year (everyone was my friend) and now I live on 28K per year (and not a soul in sight)
I don't care what anyone say's... My problems would end if I had the winning Lotto numbers... (Just saying)

I don't think winning lotto and having money would solve all your problems. Would your friends be your friends because they like you for who you are? Or would they be your friend because they just think you'll throw some of your money their way?

Might be an out-dated view these days, but, I think friends should be friends no matter what a persons financial status is. Or their marital status. Or their religion. Or the colour of their skin. Or their weight. Or their height ....

Money can't buy friends. Or love. Not the real thing anyway.

Huh. Strange to think that I wrote this 4 years ago. Almost to the day. Well, 4 years and 1 day ago. Yet it's still true. Even on the internet, all I seem to find is lies and manipulation and people playing games with emotions .... Still haven't had my first kiss. Or a cuddle. Or even held hands. Or even been out with anyone. I'm just ... worthless. Unwanted.

same feelin bro,it's like we were destined to die alone or's very depressing to see and/or hear people who just can't win any women's hearts at all.I am a averagely handsome kind of guy,was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome(mild for of autism),which never really affected me,im good at singing,and i respect and be kind to kind people.I just can't seem be loved in return.thanks cupid,thanks a lot

I tell my best friend this like every other day. She went on some dating sites and she can't even keep count of how many dates she's been on, but I barely got any, much less a call back. Then again, she's twenty years younger and sixty pounds lighter than me, so. I feel like a washed-up actress.

If I were you I'd save up some money and hire an escort girl. That's my own plan once I come into some money. Sorry that I don't have any less jaded advice, as I, myself, am feeling jaded and hopeless anymore.

Well, good luck with that, if that's what you want to do. I won't do that though. Even though I've always been told that it is the only way it will happen for me. I want to value the emotional part of the experience, just as much as the physical ...

1 More Response

I'm right there with ya... :(.. This is one example of Life is Unfair

the mexican drug lord thanked the US for making drugs illegal because it made him rich. Here i am poor and disabled and can't even afford to keep the one i love most alive. The US spends billions of dollars on the drug war. war should be illegal. instead they can't help a poor man that doesn't have enough to keep his dog. while soldiers aren't even court martialed for shooting dogs. im glad if i die ill leave this place and im glad my dog doesn't understand.

I end up on this page cause of a google search even though my issues are a bit different than most people here. But I was concerned when I read your post. Lets say I don't care much for people but have a soft spot for animals. I have a cat myself and is been there for me through my depression sadness and problems. Is sometime ago you wrote this but if is not too late I would like to help if I can. With your dog I mean. I know what a treasure a pet can be to their owner especially when you're sou rounded by cruel stupid and ungrateful people. Let me know honey.

My landlord won't even let me get the damn cat. Sigh. I am pathetically relieved that my 21 year old son has decided to leave college and return home. I feel like the most depressing person in the world to talk to. My encounters with people that I look up to are always awkward, men almost completely ignore me, or else they just view me as an easy **** (and when they don't get that, they ignore me as well.) I can't get my articles published anywhere visible, am an outcast at work too and my thoughts grow darker by the day. I have a couple of really good girlfriends who genuinely want something to be excited for me about, and can't even ever give that to them.

its not about what girls I can and can't have. No one wants me cause im poor and disabled. I can't even afford to keep my dog alive with her medical bills. The government does not give me enough. I am not searching for love because I have in the past...lots...and everything failed. im just posting to relieve some bordom and speak my truth. cheers.

unlike probably all of you i actually get maced almost every time i walk up to a girl almost every time and what do i do to deserve such treatment absolutely nothing,i walk up i say hi and then i get maced explain that for me please.and no jokes im serious!

I've never been maced, but I get told to '**** off' on a regular basis, even if I just say hello or even smile.

Well I am 55, slim, athletic. I workout every day. I have money, am pretty, people tell me but I can't find anyone. I don't drink or smoke and people like that are considered different. I just want an honest, old fashioned woman that wants only me. I had that but she is gone. I am a lesbian.

i can say, i'm a woman, a normal person by any standards, I don't have any terminal disease, or some scary **** std, or some physical defect, like nine heads or 12 tails, or green skin., or weird laugh, i'm not very skinny or very fat, sort of average, i like to run, i have a good taste. yet i feel like there is something inherently wrong with me. I have the same situation and I don't know what to do. I am not the most attractive but I am sort of average and with make up and right clothes I can look pretty good. I study, I have a good sense of humor ... yet none of that matters. When it comes to guys, it's always the same story - they take one look at my hot friends, with big boobs (which, of course, I don't have and never will) and I'm done, they don't even look at me. And what strikes me the most is that some of my friends, who are attractive and really nice persons, can't get men either. However, the other part of my girl- friends who look like dolls but they are kinda greedy, all about the money, clothes, expensive lifestyle and sucking the life out of a man - they all have guys.<br />
When some of those "clever" persons tell me that I should find a guy or those who complain endlessly about their relationships or cannot choose, lie, are not honest, I really want to scream, because I would never do that, but I don't have a choice.<br />
That's the essence of life to me. Honestly, i said i'm a nice person but maybe it has made me in a bit of a ***** because i have no compassion towards most men - most of them are so cheap, and unkind when it comes to women who are not so beautiful, it's disgusting. If i'm not interested in a man, at least I am respectful, polite, I will never address his flaws and i will talk to him anyways, try to know what kind of person he is, maybe he has something interesting to tell. But to men here, it's like if you are not beautiful, you don't exist, you're not even worth talking to.Oh, and actually all the bad things i've ever heard about my looks/me, has come from men who are totally average, not special in any way and not very good looking. But i guess getting bitter is a dangerous and useless thing because life is so short. That's just my opinion which I cannot help, it comes from many observations of my adult life and the only way how i can be "cured" is by a positive experience (many positive experiences actually).And what has helped me till now, is that i'm sort of a rebel inside. Life is kinda unfair and when it happens i just refuse to give up on myself entirely. If i cannot get anyone, at least i can try to do well my job and devote myself to something useful, or make money. Some would say it's pathetic but that usually comes from people who have a lot of attention and i would never choose that kind of life without family, if i would have a choice, which i didn't. Thank you, that was my story and i can say i totally understand you, i know how hard it is to always be alone against the whole world, but apart from those relationship problems, i still love life, all the other aspects of it. So think about it, I wish you well!

This really spoke to me, thanks so much for sharing. I created an account just so that I could reply. I'm young, high school age, but I've watched in quick succession all of my other friends attain what is unattainable to me; a boyfriend. I find myself wondering what glaring issue I've overlooked about myself, I'm not hideous, and I'm decently intelligent. What's wrong with me that nobody seems to want me? Am I a freak? Will I die alone? Why doesn't anybody care? Am I just being a melodramatic teenager?
Well, sorry about completely unloading on you. You voiced some issues that I too have encountered recently, and it's just nice to know that I'm not alone in being alone. I wish you well.

Well, I had a girl friend who also was my only friend. She left me when she got a new job. It was terrible

I feel the same. I get amazed on how much crap some women put up with in men, things I would never do. Yet no one wants me. At the same time, with all the yelling and screaming I grew up with as a kid, if that is what family live is like, why would I want that? Being alone is better than being with my family, but somehow I want to believe being with someone who really does care is better… I just don’t seem to know how to connect to people who care.

It's not just connecting with people who care. It's finding people who care. Genuinely care. As opposed to those who say they do, but then never show it ... or more often than not, run for the hills rather than show it. Yet they're quite willing and happy to show it to other people who don't give a damn about it, who don't care about them. I really don't get it ....

i have found a theory, its called "genetic pool disposal", some of the people born with it in order to reduce the human population, mabey the body or the brain send signals/hormon's that scare girl's away, i am working on a solution these days so i may find a cure just for me, but as for the rest of mankind i have no answer

Just my 2 cents. I read someone saying that they are not a doctor. well guess what Sir, I am, I have a nice body, drive one of the best cars and I am 35 but people think I am 28. No girl will ever go out with me, not even for a cup of coffee, even girls who have no education, work minimum wage and are desperate to find guys. I think that no matter what other things you have, if you are not confident then no body will trust you, not just girls, no one. Now I am not confident and getting rejected makes me less confident, which gets me rejected again which makes my confidence less, ..........

fake confidence U tube how they do it tips ....its like sales .....U r selling a product ....../u / lol
Casanova started somewhere also .....

yes its life have to face it ,,,..its very complicated to understand.....why ...only you ...but yet you r living ,,,there r people much more in problem after having a wife i think you should thank god for he knows what is best for you ...yes you have to live because you r born to live and when time come you will die ,,,,thats his call pray and wait and try to be happy thats your destiny,,,take it with a pinch of salt,,,ha,,yes thats life ,,god bless

my experience is a little different from yours I am a pretty girl and it is very easy for me to get a man but I only want the one im with. He has cheated on me and I know it he denies it and will never admit it and even when the girl called me i still stayed with him I do not know why. I love him so much and we have a beautiful baby girl together. I feel so alone and unloved. my mom walked out on me when i was only three my dad got remarried and had a new family so my whole family turned their backs on me I got married he cheated on me and we ended in divorce. I think i am unloveable and everyone will always walk out on me and love is just something i dream about and does not exist. all I want is for him to love me and not want another girl but i am never enough for anyone. love is not all it is cracked up to be at first its great but it always ends up being one sided and someone ends up hurt, scared, lonely, and dreaming that he would love me.

U deserve love ....dont sell urself short !!!

I have the same problem as Cursedboy, in time it seems to separate you as a person from everyone else. Like theres the world and then in the distance theres me , never seen or noticed. Your not even a member of society anymore your just an invisible blah that's hovering about while the world gets on with it's business. just can't seem to work it out - everybody should get one chance with a soul mate.

Jesus died on the cross for u specifically. He loves u, and he didn't create u to live a life that is unfair. Your loneliness can only be filled by Jesus Christ. Even if u find someone to be with u, u will still feel some loneliness feeling. Today pray and ask God why he created u, he have his own purpose, u are a person who have a purpose when u come to this world and to know that purpose, ask God (who made u) why ur on this earth. Have a little faith in ur heart that God hears u when u pray, just close ur eyes and be like "God, who created me, who created this world, come into my life, show me the way to you, lead me, Guide me, did u really give away ur only begotten son to be crucified on the cross for the sake of me? I want to know u God, I want u to change my life, do u really love me for who I am? " ask God tell him that u want to know him. Read bible, go to church and find out what its to be happy and loved in this world , and know that there will be eternal life after death where everyone will be judged for what everyone did while they were in this world. It's true, think about it with a clean heart. Even if u don't believe, what if its true? where would u end up?

I am a woman and i am never loved by any man. I now hope and pray that there will be even one man who will give me a child before i die. I hate even to think of what my personal life has become in my adult life. I miss the days when i knew nothing about loniliness. Now that i am 28 years and never touched, i know it all. I understand what the writer of this story feels for sure.

Cursedboy... <br />
<br />
First off, I'm sorry that you feel this way. In fact, really sorry. <br />
<br />
I know the feeling of being shot down and overlooked. I used to play the friend, play the "cool guy", and try every trick in the book to get a girlfriend. I'm here to first off give you a cold, hard, fact:<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm not joking. It is impossible. Yes, maybe you aren't getting a lot of takers, but I can guarantee that there are people out there that would value being in a relationship with someone like you. They may not be looking for you specifically, but they want what you have to offer. THIS IS FACT.<br />
<br />
There are so many reasons why people become attracted to someone, trying to arrive at some "magic formula" for getting a date is a total waste of time. So let's try something new here. First off, I need you to have an open mind about all of this. I wish I knew your first name because Cursedboy is just not fitting for you. You aren't cursed. You're confused. You're dispondent, but certainly not cursed. <br />
<br />
So like I said... throw everything you think you know about getting into a relationship out the window. No really, do it. Your sage advice you've been giving yourself for years is not serving your interests. So STOP HANGING ON TO OLD LOGIC. Just stop it. Have you stopped it yet? Good, because now I want you to REALLY stop it. <br />
<br />
Now, I want you to take the next step... think very long and hard about why you want to be in a relationship. I want you to make a mental list in your head of what you want out of it. Do you want a 360 deal? A 360 means that your partner is more of a follower than a partner. She would give you all the affection you want at the drop of a hat, she would essentially make her biggest need any and all needs you have. She would pamper you, perhaps borderline coddling. <br />
<br />
I don't think you want that. In fact, I'm pretty damn sure of it. <br />
<br />
If you're like most guys, you want a partner you can relate to. You want someone who respects you and values what you have to say. Sure you want an affectionate person, but that kind of happens anyway in a relationship that is going well. I dare say what you want is a REAL partner. Someone in your corner, someone who admires you and your accomplishments. <br />
<br />
Also, you need to consider what having a relationship entails. Being in a relationship means that the other person is going to expect that you are either on her wavelength, or you can decode it. It means consideration, giving your time, and meeting her in the middle about when and where you are together. It means you're going to have to be pretty strong, but flexible when needed. I can assure you that when you're in a relationship, you will realize that it didn't resolve all of your feelings or "solve everything" that is causing you to feel this rejected. <br />
<br />
Consider the vibe you're giving off to people like a fireplace - you stoke the fire too much, and no one wants to get too close to it. You starve the fire nearly cold, and no one feels any warmth, and they move elsewhere to find that flame. <br />
<br />
Women - hell people in general, even the dumber ones - can pick up on someone's vibe pretty quickly. It's a pretty fascinating phenomenon that I've witnessed first hand on many occasions. And trust me, no vibe is more repellant than a guy that either tries too hard, seems deceptive or motivated by an agenda, or is so incredibly defeatist that even Kurt Cobain would tell you to lighten up. <br />
<br />
You're going to most certainly attract interest if you have fun, if you're funny, and you strike a nice balance between taking charge and going with the flow. It takes a boatload of introspection, NonCursed. You have to know what makes you... you. I mean, let's answer that question... if you woke up and you were someone else entirely - let's say a prospective partner - and you met you... what would you think after 5 minutes? An hour? A few weeks? I'm here to tell you that women are looking to answer that question first and foremost before anything else - "What's ne normally like?". They want to know, and quickly, how much time they can see themselves spending with you. <br />
<br />
Women are generally attracted to a man who is fun, funny, and is passionate/serious about SOMETHING positive. They want a man who can focus intensely on acheiving what they want out of life, but also have the ability to meet their needs from time to time as well. And they like to know you're interested, even if they aren't. There's no harm in paying a compliment without sounding like a kiss-***. In fact, sometimes you can get away with making a joke about their purse being too big or ugly. If they have a keychain for their car / house keys that has like 10,000 things on it, call them out on it! Say something like "Jeez, what's with the jingly shot-put?!?!?" Show them you're interested, but they aren't the ONLY thing you're interested in. Being aloof is exactly that; Being aloof. It makes people think you're guarded or defensive, or that you don't care about being in a relationship (which as you've seen is a possible reaction as well). Don't be aloof. It only works in sitcoms and movies.<br />
<br />
Most of all - you have to network. You have to look. You have to ask around and see who's available. You have to show that you're interested, but not overly eager. The "smothering guy" most certainly has a hell of a time with launch. <br />
<br />
And don't beat yourself up over your past. In fact, ignore it. Pretend you have no past, and you're starting from day one. You can't get so hyperfocused on the absence of a companion, because you'll lose focus on what really matters - finding someone who enjoys your company. Don't be afraid. Be adventurous... be brave. <br />
<br />
And if you are still having trouble, maybe you need an icebreaker. If you can add two and two, then you can learn how to play the bass. Pick one up, learn, and join a band that doesn't suck. In fact, here's the top 5 for getting the ice broken:<br />
<br />
1. Own a motorcycle.<br />
2. Join a band. Be in a band. <br />
3. Know how to fix something that has a combustion engine. Boat, Car, Bike, Plane. Lawnmowers, gokarts, and scooters need not apply. <br />
4. Know a lot of jokes. Learn the fine art of comedy, and comedic timing.<br />
5. Be strong - either you look like you can kick the crap out of someone, or you look like you can hit a ba<x>seball over the top of a Walmart Supercenter. <br />
<br />
You know what? Add playing pool to that one as well. Playing pool and meeting people goes hand in hand. It's a social sport. And women like pool too, just not bowling. If you think of bowling, hit yourself with the ball and think of something else. <br />
<br />
Anyway, I know I've given you a long diatribe, but trust me - I've been overweight most of my life, and although at first glance I'm no prize, I have had plenty of girlfriends, and was engaged for a few years. And well, I'm sure I'll be dating again soon enough. Why? Because I know the odds are in my favor. They're in your favor too. Stay focused on what matters, and I know for a FACT you'll get there.

I was married for 5 years and separated for the last year and a half with no sex for the last 3. I also feel nobody wants me and the thought of my wife with someone else eats me up. To me it seems it is so easy for most other people to have relationships and sex. They say these things are chosen as if it was like shopping for a type of lettuce in the supermarket. Just wanted you to know there are many others in our situation. Media and websites make it seem like there are very few of us. It's an illusion.

well, nobody wants me either, so ill have sex with you if you want, im willing to take anybody, even girls.

Same here. But 'would place love before sex personally. Would do anythyng for a lover, never cheat on hym or her. But hehehe... 'tys not as easy as't sounds.

Hi,<br />
<br />
I am a female and 35. I have NEVER been married and have no kids. I honestly don't want to marry, but I do want a nice guy in my live and to love and for him to love me back. I really haven't had a boyfriend and feel so alone all the time, some times I feel lonier than other times. I feel like I am not meant to be with anyone ever. It does hurt when ppl I know have many relationships and marriages, but I can seem to get one. What is my problem? I feel so out of place on this earth. Why does something that is supposed to me so natural for everyone else so hard for me. I am not sure if it has anything to so with looks , cause many ppl that have someone are not that great nor great looking. So why can't I even meet anyone decent. Most guys I have met are no one I would or could even like. I just want someone to be equal to me....a decent person that is all. SO I FEEL UR PAIN : (

Yeah 'feel the same. Wyll take almost anyone, male or female, but they're way too spoyled wyth multyple choyces to gyve a rat's arse about us. 'also feel that 'have a lot to offer, and albeyt weak'n my own ways, 'also have the Pashun and FYRE to have survyved through, but most people just couldn't gyve an arse about us as people. People even love theyr pets more than some of us.

I'm unwanted too, but don't fall into the myth that we are meant to be with someone. Our society has shoved this idea down our thoats since the cradle- that each of us are SUPPOSED to be with someone else- it isn't true. Some of us, in fact many of us are created to be single- it's 100% true, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I know if feels super lonely sometimes - believe me I know - (the only one who ever wanted anything to do with me was a rapist when I was an infant) but you cannot dwell on that too long- we are meant for a love much bigger than meer human-love- I just hope you find it. It's the only thing I'm living for.

True. And those of us who can't fynd love are gyven tools of power. Creatyvyty and wyll power can come from lonelyness, as well as other powers. Besydes, the "love" many gyve to theyr partners 's more 'n lyne wyth vampyrysm than actual LOVE.

And what is that insanely huge love for which the loners are destined? Of course it would be awesome to walk around in the bliss of samadhi all the time, then I wouldn't need love. But only the Ramana Maharshis and Ramakrishna Paramahansas get to have that. So of what, pray tell, do you speak?

Cursedboy. Learn to love Yourself dude. Believe me most women are screwed up. Most are a pain in the backside. Do Your nut in. Ya know what I mean. Most are not worth it. Ever hear the quote " love is the delusion that one woman differ's from another " Woman say the same thing about Men. Load's of couples seem happy. But they are not. Mortgages, Bills, Screaming Children, Stress, arguments. Affairs, Divorce. Unemployment. One has to ask is it really worth all the hassle.

If you choose to be single for those reasons, or any reason, then, that's your choice. But your choices aren't mine.

well U need to find the right one and dont sell urself short ......she is supposed to enhance ur life in a positive way not be a pain in the ***

I kind of know how you feel. I don't believe there's anyone for me. I mean there are good potential "friends" out there. But, nothing more. Either I'm looked at as just a friend or someone just wants to have sex with me. That's it. And I don't want that. I give up. I'm going to ask God for a bunch of money or a new life in foreign land instead. That should be more satisfying.

Agreed. Maybe the lottery. Or some rich people die and leave me a huge inheritance.

just me again... had to make a new account!, so this is me

this article sounds the same as my situation, nobody ever seems to want me! ive seen countless guys who abuse relationships but still they get them, My 4 other siblings (male and female) are all over successful when it comes to finding partners.<br />
<br />
meanwhile im reduced to joining net dating sites where to my supprise the ladies seem even pickier!!<br />
<br />
to add a bit more stress to my life a few years ago when I was 27 I developed a.s (fancy arthritis) which although under control now, has left me with a limp (House a spine that doesnt flex and im 3" shorter!.<br />
<br />
it also makes holding a job down much much harder, and everyone knows the ladies hate a unless hes a silver tongued loser which im<br />
<br />
So seems that no one whats me, and thats even before ive told them about my physical<br />
<br />
alone till i die seems a crappy life though....... <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
ive got a theory that once youve got a partner you attract more (for some reason)..

Just be itself and if it's meant to happen it will all the best love charli

hey, im sorry to hear about what your going through, and trust me many of us go through things like that, but as a person who has been through simular trails, i honestly think that the first thing you need to do is, STOP MAKING EXSCUSES about why things are not working. You just need to fix the problem and the only way you can do that is by FOCUSING ON YOU and improving yourself, forget about why she doesnt like you and what someone else thinks you should do, no THE ONLY ONE who can FIX YOU IS YOU. If you improve yourself for the better then others will notice and the fruits of your laborS WILL COME TO YOU. For instants, if you feel you need to lose weight-DO IT!, if you feel you need to be more confident- IMPRove IT! Start getting involved with activities that put you in leadership positions, If you feel your always depressed or angry or thinking about being alone-FIND PEOPLE THAT CAN HELP YOU THROUGH IT(ex; Doctors,phycologist, groups..ect) Because noone like people with tons of baggage, it makes you a downer. Start looking for a better job, go back to school, become somthing more and stop waiting for the world to except you as an un-bloomed blossom. No one in this world wants anyone who cant be confident, who cant walk in his/her purpose in this life, you can not be just potiential. You have to be CREDENTIAL. f.y.i.: (Defining Credentials -anything that provides the basis for confidence, belief and credit.)<br />
Once you figure this out and start working on you, i bet you get the results you want. It will take time but stick it out and it Will Work and if you post a comment about why this could never work for you after this...then nothing can help you. Remember YOU MUST HELP YOURSELF. -Much Luv, find happiness


the good guy never wins any women's hearts

not true at all .....!!

I hope with all my heart you find that special someone to love and to love you . Dont be anything your not, the right person will love you for who you are inside and out. And you sound like a nice guy.<br />
im a little older than you but know i will spend the rest of my life alone, No one will want me and its hard to be alone, so my heart goes out to you, As a women im embarressed how many women behave if the blokes not rich or has the full 6 pack body with the looks they wont even look twice. Dont put yourself down ive seen your pic and you are a good looking guy from what i have read you have a huge heart with lots of love to give. The best of luck to you in finding that happiness ,J

Except it never does, punky1987. I guess for some people it might. But, well, I stopped looking .. or at least, tried not to look .. for years on end. Just tried to believe that there was someone out there for me, and that I would find her, probably when I least expected to. But it doesn't happen. When it got too much, and someone asked what was wrong .... and I told them .... they said they thought I was happy being alone. Because I never appeared to try. Never appeared to be looking. <br />
<br />
Of course, years of trying, and years of looking haven't gotten me anywhere either. I'm probably a ware that I should accept that people find me ... unlovable. That I'm unwanted. That I'll never know the physical and emotional, and intimate contact with another person. Everyone is pointing to that sign, telling me so, if not in words, then, in lack of any of that contact. I know I should accept that 'fate' .... but maybe in one way they're right, and I'm just too stupid to.

Maybe the problem's not wyth us alone; maybe the problem's wyth today's concept of Love and Romance; Maybe the soap opera's have gotten'n the way of peoples' 'ntellect and capacyty to judge character. We take thyngs for granted all the tyme.

i know were you are coming from some people just dont know a good thing when its right in frunt of there face trust me even at my age (23) i see how people are i to feel like i will never be good enough for someone or nobody will ever love me as i deserve but i am starting to realize that the more we look for it the further away it goes when we stop looking for love or what ever it is we are looking for it will find us ..

ahhhhhh =( sorry i wish u find someone that love u how u deserves and i know is hard but i m sure one day u will find someone, someone smart cause just smart girls knows value a good man

i also know how you feel. i have met girls in the past 10 years but i can never get them to sleep with me. sure, the relationships may last a little while but when it comes down to sex, i seem to have been told to throw myself on the rubbish heap. commitment isnt the problem though, it just seems i get a raw deal and when it comes down to hammering it out between the pair of us - its me who make the compromises ie. wait for sex. but how long must i wait? at the moment i have been seeing someone for about 4 years, but its complicated and i know i can get very hurt if i push the envelope and lose. therefore, i know what you are so scared about - a deep seated fear of rejection and humiliation - because being rejected is humiliation. its tough to lose in love and no one in the right mind will offer their feelings up to be torn apart by another, so yes bud, i understand. my advice is if you are thinking of someone, let them know and if they ever make a pass made at you, take a chance and ask if they want to join you and do something (*what you have in mind*) sometime.

Jesus is the only one who will accept you and love you for who you truly are. It might sound trite, esoteric or unsympathetic in this day in age, but it is the truth. I've been without a romantic partner my whole adult life, and while it can be difficult, it never gets to the point of being crushing. When you experience the love of the One who made you, it puts all other human affections to shame - this is not to say that we don't need each other in this world, but never let your worth as a human being be determined by the wants of others. <br />
<br />
"Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest"

its been a while sense u were on here but I know exactly what you mean. I am what you men call a option for a night i guess . lucky for me i don't allow myself to be their true option because I always say no. I never am able to find a one great man that just want love. And I will not start no matter how alone I am.

Respect that so much.... 'Hope you fynd someone who can SEE you for what you are and not what socyety or ego wants them to see.


i know exactly how you feel.. = /

nobody wants dad dint want me so he threw me out on the mom didnt want me so she threw me out..and now i live with my fiance parents and they dont even want me...nody ever wants fiance wont even kiss me..iam so lonley

Wow, can relate to you. 'Was also left'n the streets as a chyld and have been alone ever synce. Would be glad to be your fryend.

try dropping all the bullshit and going with the truth, you will be amazed at what the truth will get you.<br />
all women really want is honesty

me too and i date black women my name is Justin Williams im 18 ok and no one wants me and i wish the blaxk women would date me cause i think about them alot and i am a white guy