Please Don't Let Me Be a Failure!

I am terrified of being a failure. Mostly being a failure to my family. I don't want to ever be a disapointment to my parents. I don't want to fail as a parent to my children. I don't want to fail as a wife. But I'm afraid I might someday. I'm not highly educated, though I do consider myself to be intelligent. But in this dog eat dog world. Intellengence doesn't always cut it if you don't have the credintials to back it up. I can't get a job making a lot of money. Not to say I couldn't in the future. But I don't know if that will ever happen. I don't know the future or what it will hold. But I'm terrified of the possibility that I might fail at what I want to acheive and in turn be a failure to my family. They need me. They depend on me. If something were to happen to my spouse right now. I don't know how we would make it. He's the bread winner. I don't like that feeling of being helpless. Not being able to help him in supporting us. I just want to be able to suceed if for some reason, God forbid, something were to happen to him and he was unable to help, or I were left to do it alone. If I don't push myself to suceed and that ever happens, my fears would be realized. I would be a failure and I can't let that happen. So God please don't let me fail.

Skyelillie Skyelillie
26-30, F
1 Response Aug 23, 2008

Wow, soundslike you've been letting your fears run WILD. <br />
(: ) I do it, too, sometimes. First of all, let's get it in perspective: Your spouse is not dead, you have food & shelter & opportunity. Just for today, it sounds like you're doing pretty well. I know when I start projecting my fears into the future - things seem really hopeless, really fast.<br />
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Now this failure, on an emotional level, to your parents, etc, why all the pressure on yourself - where does it come from? Did somebody teach you that you are worthwhile, as just who you are! Honest - I know it sounds corny. Take some time to look into your past experiences to see where this feeling is coming from. The world is a tough place, I'm proud of my son for keeping on trying his best - that's major success.<br />
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And if there are some things you'd like to accomplish, get them clear and take a baby step at a time - I promise you'll progress much faster that way, than living in fear and hopelessness. ANd remember that NOBODY!! does everything to their satisfaction - things don't always go as we prefer - that doesn't mean there aren't other paths to get to a much better life & achieve a goal - and that certainly isn't failure! Good luck & take some deep breaths!