I Hurt My Girlfriend, It's Bad...

I've been going out with my girlfriend for about a year and a month now. We're very happy together and still have the "love-spark" going, even after more than a year.  Recently (about a week and a half ago), I started a new job. I'm 22 and still fresh out of college and am aware that this has to be - and is - a very confusing part of my life. She, on the other hand, is 26, and already has an idea of where her life is going. Being 26 means she also has much more emotional experience than me, due to her more numerous past relationships.

So being a bit confused in my life made me start thinking about things and suddenly, and without me noticing, started making me think about her more and more. Thing is though, I didn't really know why I was thinking of her that much, and that made me anxious. Over the next week and a half i got more and more anxious. I suddenly started thinking about my feelings towards her, what role does she have in my life, etc. 

Now here comes the problem. Yesterday was her birthday, we celebrated by going out and I got her somethng which she loved. Today I decided to tell her that I have been thinking of stuff for some time now (I know... great timing)  but I wasn't completely sure what I was thinking, but I know it's about us. She tried to be objective at first, but more and more confusion and non-sensical emotional dumping on my side made things worse and worse. My blabbering and bad English when I get nervous didn't help (English is not my native language). I know it was incredibly selfish on my part to tell her this but I never thought the conversation would get this bad.

Now she doesn't want to see me and if I touch her she looks at me in disgust.

I love her, I am completely lost, and I know that one of the best answers is to sort myself out, and then speak to her, altough I've already broken her trust and showed her that I am emotionally unpredictable and unstable. I would like to know if anyone can help me with this, please.

dontknowwhatimdoing dontknowwhatimdoing
22-25, M
1 Response Mar 3, 2010

Sorry , you need to move on. Life is much too short to want someone who doesn't want you. Never compromise your goals or principles to keep someone in your life. You will meet someone special and much more deserving of your love.:)