It took MONTHS to get over my last relationship and feel like I could enter a new one. In fact, I was still very scared. I was afraid of getting my heart broken again. But we had spent some time together almost every weekend since reconnecting in January. It was a very sad event that brought us together again. It had been at least 25 years. But we did reconnect and it was nice to see a friend. Actually, he's my brother's friend. But he and I got along well and always had a great time hanging out. I wasn't expecting to fall in love. My head said don't get involved; he's been through so much in a very short amount of time and may be vulnerable. But we had what I felt were honest conversations and chose to follow my heart. The events leading to the break up are complicated....I feel so much guilt that he felt so badly about things. But what I feel the most right now is sadness....complete sadness. He asked if anyone had ever done anything to me and I was very honest. It's been almost 6 weeks. I just realized he has never shown compassion for something that happened to me when I was 10. Why ask a question if the answer doesn't matter? How can you not say you're sorry something like that happened to someone you claim to love? This wasn't a casual relationship....we were talking marriage. Instead he said "hmm" gave me a hug and walked out the door. I have lost my best friend and I just don't know how to get rid of this sadness.
CapnJacksGirl CapnJacksGirl
41-45, F
Aug 20, 2014