Getting Outen

 Oh my God! My kids don't love me. Let me start at the beginning. I was a child with nothing but dreams and I came out of a poor country looking for a better living. Then I fell in love and had two child and then I had trouble because the man was not supportive and now i'm in a battle over who gets the kids. my daughter prefers to be with her aunt over me because her aunt fed her stories of me being a bad mother, i was prived to see my daughter while being in an abusive relationship and the fighting and fuzzing was never over until after 10 years i decided to leave. While being white in a black men country I was descriminated for my race and forced to do odd jobs. I wish I was not alone , I feel so alone. My kids are my life and now I have nothing.


yisi yisi 26-30, F 5 Responses Dec 8, 2009

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i know how you feel my kids dad has turned me into a monstter ALL i do is cry they dont realize how much i love them and i dont think they care im emotionally exhausted i will always b the pos.

I went through something similar....though not as bad. It took my sons years to come around and one of them wouldn't let me in on his chiuldren's lives....he is just beginning to come around....the other thank God has a wife that couldn't tolerate the way they treated me and influenced him to took about 15 years and is still not totally good.

Jules65 wrote a lot of good stuff to take in. Truly hope your relationships are healed.

I have three grown children. They do not answer my phone calls, they do not return my phone call messages, they do not answer emails they do not answer my comments on facebook. This has been going on and getting worse over the last several months. I fear with the holidays coming that my husband and I are going to spending them alone. I don't know what we've done to deserve this. The kids won't even give us the chance to say we're sorry or to even explain. I'm at a loss. I don't know what else to do. I have gone to their homes only to find them either not home, have company or just won't talk to me. I need help now. KK

The first comment states - Tell them That!!

That is great advice but something I thought I would mention based on my own experience as a daughter in a similar situation to your children.

I am extremely blessed - because I too was being fought over when I was about 10years old.

False Stories & accusations surrounded me - I didn't know what was true & what wasn't at that time.

My mum had the love & understanding that I am so greatful for today - And learned much from as a result.

***Mum always expressed her love.

Mum never made me feel GUILTY for her pain - in fact she hid the extent of her pain for my benefit.

She never made me CHOOSE.

She Never made it HARDER than it already was.

Mum called every week & came to visit. For a while I wouldn't speak with or see her.

The Lesson is this -

She never GAVE up demonstrating her love. Her love was ongoing & she was committed to proving it - whether I responded to it or did not.

(Eventually I knew that my mum would call at a certain time etc. Even though I wouldn't accept the call - I drew enormous comfort from her consistency.)

I must have broken her heart continually for a while - But you know what????

She won my heart - Then, Now & Forever More!!

Her love for me, her determination to protect me from being caught in the middle, her continual phone calls, letters & visits. Never causing me to feel Guilt over my enormous confusion!!)

Tell your kids you love them, tell them that where ever they are you will love them.

Tell them you understand that things are a mess & that you understand that confusion, fear and a thousand other emotions are probably going around in their heads & hearts.

Give them time, Give them space & constantly & continually be reliable in your contact. However successful or unsuccessful they may prove to be at the time.

YOU FEEL ALONE RIGHT NOW! Live for your kids every day. They Need you Now, They will Need you Tomorrow & the will Need you Forever!!

Well that is it then - You have to survive this, You have the most enormous REALITY to live for.

Wish I could say it would be easy but I can assure you that You will have the BEST of Success in Time.

Be the person that they will be proud to know, to love & to learn from.

I Reckon - You Can Do it!!!

Good Luck - My heart aches for you.

What a wonderful mother you had and what wisdom she has imparted to you!

This is most beautiful thing I've ever read in ep. Is there an option to add it to my favorites ?

Tell them that.