Raw Action.

And here's my story...when I was younger..I was molested by my cousin. I really didn't think it effected me that much and really didn't change much when I was younger. I've always been a chubby kid and always got picked on. I never really got close to anyone because everyone always left as soon as I let my guard down..they were gone, just left..when I was 12 I met this guy named Tyler, who lives in North Carolina..he's five years older than me and we texted and talked on the phone none stop. I thought he really cared for me and he is one of the one who have had the biggest influence in my life sexually. All of his fantasies became mine, his wants and needs sexually...became mine. We talked for about three or four years..in that time, I gave my first blow job and but was really cautious about everyone...except my best friends. There names were Katie and Courtney. One was from church and the other one was from school. I had told both of them about it, we were best friends, right? Wrong. The next day at school...everyone knew about it. I lost all my friends and got picked on all the time. One of the teachers even said it was all my fault that this happened and actually called me a *****. My friend at church left the church and blamed it on me. I guess hearing that word, *****..just gets to a person..and as much as I hate admitting it..that's what I am now. Every summer since I've turned 14, I've had a huge falling out with a guy "friend" last year was definitely the worse. I was bulimic all last summer, I scratched myself, I pushed everyone away that was here for me..and my depression came back. And at this time I was talking to about 20 other guys who would daily ask me for pictures..age 15 to probably 40? I would send them a picture and anything else they'd ask for. Once I finally got over him, his name was Quadre, there was Steven. He was 28, told me 18, then 21, then 26...then I found him online. He went away to prison for about 25 years in December because of stuff he had done..but not before having a friend tell me he killed himself for me. While I was still with Steven I met Shane, and he was clingy...I broke up with him and he stalked, harassed and threatened to kill me. Then there was Chase. He was amazing, but after 3 months of being together..my mom told him she hated him one to many times and he just stopped talking to me. After Chase, there was many guys, who live here..Odie, another Chase, Brandon, Kenneth, another Brandon...and many guys who have been around. I've never had a boyfriend...because as soon as any guy "meets" me...they leave, break all their promises and either go one their way or take what they want, then leave. The last guy Brandon, likes me..or he did the other night, he is still texting me...and I like him. But I'm so afraid to trust anyone, you see why? I'm so afraid that if/when I do have sex with him..he'll be gone....just like the rest. That's why, when a guy calls me beautiful, pretty, sexy, cute..or compliments me...I just let it go. After all this **** that's happened to me I just feel empty, used...I can't honestly see how anyone could love me or see me beautiful, unless they want something from me.
beautifulbaby069 beautifulbaby069
22-25, F
May 21, 2012