It's Awful...

I only have a handful of friends that are actually around physically and I hardly see them because they are busy. My parents are interstate, my other relatives only see me in emergencies. I spend most of my day online, because that's where I am given support. I wish the built environment was better so I could mingle more with my wheelchair.

I'm scared that the day will come where my government funded personal care will be cut and I'll be singing to my cat. I was raised an only child and smothered with love, didn't have many friends then because my parents were afraid people would break my heart...

I'm trying to get over my fear, but can't seem to.

If you love me, please try your hardest not to leave me unless I hurt you or you die...please. I'm Ok by myself, but I'm not a full person.

TheRealWoman TheRealWoman
31-35, F
7 Responses Apr 12, 2008

I understand this all too well Just when i isolated into my lil world without communicating about it not even here .. I see now after reading yours and a few others how we all feel so isolated from even our won families whats going on with people? WHY are we feeling this way.. I've been this way since i was very young! Never feeling like i had a true connection who could really feel the intense feelings of abandonment like i did.. like an orphan would who never felt connected to anything or anyone.. How i know this feeling. Be comforted in knowing this your now alone in feeling alone.. and the more i read about this generation of technology designed to keep us afraid and alone feeling hopeless is what it will lead to unless we all outsmart it and face it head on.. Im working on it myself right now be strong!!!

I too am utterly alone. But I'm quite a bit older than you. If you just want someone to share anxieties & grievances with, I'm your man.<br />
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Losing someone you care for is hard, it's clear you are a nice and kind person, and you deserve to have caring people around you.<br />
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*hugs* we may not talk often but i always look at your stuff and keep myself updated. I hope you never realize your fears.

I very, very rarely use profanity, but your update brought the F-word from me. I am SO sorry those idiots did that to you. That's grounds for criminal charges, as far as I'm concerned.

Thanks for the encouragement, love to you both!

Looking for friends that is so hard. I find people but I only attract people who use me and when they don't need me they are gone. Good luck with finding friends. I'm pulling for you.