Mixed Emotions About Meeting New People

So it's been a while since my last post, I've been battling depression and loneliness from a break up that was pretty painful atleast for me it was. I've been taking peoples advice from here and am trying to get out more and more, I've meet some pretty cool people since then. But last night I met and hung out with a girl that I think I like. Rather than being excited I find myself really angry, and depressed. I catch myself thinking that I deserve to be alone and that I deserve to be miserable. I know it's not a self esteem issue because I know I'm a good looking guy and that any girl would be lucky to have me (not to brag). My friends think that maybe I'm still protecting myself and protecting her from me...? If that makes any sense? Has anyone felt like this? Does anyone have any advice?
KaneoheGuy KaneoheGuy
22-25, M
3 Responses Jul 5, 2010

Yes. I feel exactly the same way. After this last painful breakup i feel angry most of the time and so alone. I have met a nice guy or two but i also dont allow myself to get close to anyone. I feel angry that for some reason i cant keep a good man in my life. I am 27 yrs old and have two kids with a man I was with for 5 yrs and he just decided to leave one day with another girl who has a son. I am angry at myself because i feel like i could have been a better wife. I understand how you feel and if you found a way to feel better please let me know.

I'm sure that there are lots of people on EP who've been through the same thing. I know a number of people who've been in this situation and the first thing I can tell you is that, with the right steps, it does get easier in time. I know you've said that you don't have any self esteem issues, but hon', I think you need to rethink that. Believing that you don't deserve a happy and fulfilling relationship is a sign that maybe you DO feel insecure, and vulnerable also, which really isn't surprising considering your previous relationship ended badly. When you start to feel bad remember that you are an amazing and attractive person and just because that one didn't work out, it doesn't mean your love life is destined for failiure in the long run. Enjoy the company of the new girl you've met and take it slowly. The last thing you want to do is rush into another relationship. Get to know her and progress from there. Keep socialising. It needn't mean a packed pub or nightclub. Joining a new class or club is a fantastic way to meet people with similar interests, and you can make a lot of new friends too! :) Keep the right attitude and remember that you're still young, and there's still plenty of time to find the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with. Good luck, and drop me a message if you need to talk. xxx

Get a Pen Pal. You meet all kinds of people. You'll be surprised.