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Trying

When I was younger I never thought it would be so hard to not be alone. But that was before everything. Before every sullen day sitting in my room. My completely quiet room. Confining really. I try though. I try to talk to ever stranger that I get a text from. Pervert or not I feel like I have to try. I don't want to feel so alone I need to talk to people. Constantly. But it seems no one can really put up with that from me. It's understandable but. I'm quite selfish. When I'm alone it feels like it will be my entire life. Like soon I'll wake up and feel an all too familiar tightness in my chest. And then I'll become nothing. And I'll had it alone. It's a scary place, your mind. I think being alone brings out the more frightful things it it.
NovakStar NovakStar 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 19, 2012

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Try chatting with nice people trough messenger or skype,it helps.

The same here. It takes a lot of effort to be able to connect with someone. Im gonna be honest to say that I haven't really tried that hard. Im always afraid to be rejected. I feel like once I get rejected, I'd never be able to cope with it. So yeah, I end up alone with no one to care for and no one to care for me. It's hard being so scared.