I Am Afraid of Being Alone
My husband has recently been diagnosed with dementia & I'm terrified of losing my best friend.
Years ago I was seduced into being taken care of instead of taking care of myself. It was so easy. Now that my husband needs me to be strong and help with additional income, I'm falling apart. I have no skills and little earning potential. Went back to school 2 years ago to study medical assisting. Finished the course but never became certified. The office I externed for hired me as a receptionist. I left in January after being docked for time off after having worked many overtime hours without pay. I feel as though I always give way too much at a job & end up being taken advantage of. Probably because I feel like I don't deserve better.
My daughter is helping out with my husbands work for now. She was laid off from her previous job so we asked if she'd be interested in working with him. I don't know how long this will last.
I've never felt she loves me, but I've been told by others she loves me very much. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have friends, but, I don't trust their feelings either.
I am under a psychologists care ( I don't think he likes me either) and am seeing a psychiatrist to change to a different antidepressant. Not very effective yet.
I really hate who & what I am. How can I fix the mess I've made of my life?
Years ago I was seduced into being taken care of instead of taking care of myself. It was so easy. Now that my husband needs me to be strong and help with additional income, I'm falling apart. I have no skills and little earning potential. Went back to school 2 years ago to study medical assisting. Finished the course but never became certified. The office I externed for hired me as a receptionist. I left in January after being docked for time off after having worked many overtime hours without pay. I feel as though I always give way too much at a job & end up being taken advantage of. Probably because I feel like I don't deserve better.
My daughter is helping out with my husbands work for now. She was laid off from her previous job so we asked if she'd be interested in working with him. I don't know how long this will last.
I've never felt she loves me, but I've been told by others she loves me very much. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have friends, but, I don't trust their feelings either.
I am under a psychologists care ( I don't think he likes me either) and am seeing a psychiatrist to change to a different antidepressant. Not very effective yet.
I really hate who & what I am. How can I fix the mess I've made of my life?
By:
mollymute
Age:
51-55
,
Female
