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An Insecurity

I grew up basically middle class but my dad left when I was 10 and my mom didn't really get much work but dad has still stayed in contact and pays alimony always. Its a complex thing, not like that which you imagine.

Anyway I never went hungry or cold or anything like that. I lived in comfort (though I'm comfortable with a bed and a few chairs, not too materialistic). They can even suppport me well in university and I'm 1 year away from getting my BA. A BA is worthless on its own so I will go further to get more but I fear that I will continue living like I am now. If it was just me, fine, I'd be comfortable but the one thing I want most of all is to be in love and have a girlfriend long term. I want to provide for all the things she would want and expect from a guy. I'm old fashioned so I believe in the guy paying mostly. That freaks me out and I think it prevents me from aiming for a serious relationship. I prefer older women but I'm a student. I have no money. Older women don't want a "little boy" with no ways of supporting her. I hear all the time I'm blowing things way out of proportion but its just how I feel. I can't help it and it makes me miserable.

Sabi87 Sabi87 22-25, M Feb 11, 2010

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