Fear Pushing Her Away

I am the type of person that feels no one could like me or want to be with me. When someone does show attention to me, I like to keep hearing that person say things that reassure me. I have been told that I am too needy so I am always careful. The problem lies with being too careful that I don't allow the real me to show through. I have been the victim of unrequited love so many times I fear it happening again. I hate being the best friend!

xdlove xdlove
41-45, M
15 Responses Aug 25, 2008

I think it is always important to follow your heart. Yes, it's scary, but when you really truly let yourself be open to giving and receiving love is when things will start to change. I wish you luck..

Love is scary. But not if we work together.

Love is so damn scary sometimes. But if it wasn't love, the feelings wouldn't be so intense. Because it is love, true love.

Hey, XD....this stubborn, spoiled brat won't let you do that. No unrequited love here. No pushing away. Just holding your hand, walking through hell with you till we get to our special place.

Just standing here, letting myself be hugged. Beaming.

Group hug!!!<br />
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You should stand up and damn those that don't have hearts and souls and who think they know better than you. You don't need those people.

I am starting to believe that I am going to stand up, heart on sleeve and be damned anyone who uses me for thier gain. I am sensitive, I am loving, I am compassionate. If I hide that, I am going to loose big because I'll never take the chance to find that one person who will take my love and give back in return. I have learned, the hard way. I'm going to keep on trying.<br />
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I assume that group hug is still going cause I never got in on it yet...

You guys and gals are just amazing. I agree with everything you've all said. I think we can all support each other and help each other through our hard times.

xdlsc--you are worthy. You are. You are NOT so special as anyone on this earth as NOT to be, okay? :P Everyone is worthy/here for a reason, and you are no different. YOU ARE WORTHY, and don't ever ever ever let anyone tell/make you feel any different. You shine through. You just don't see it. Yet.

Isn't it aweful to have to have your guard up. I see it in many people. Recently I took a new job. Something I had never done before. I promised myself that I would be as anonymous as possible. Couldn't do it. Luckily they are great people I work with. The funny thing is, they range from 15 to 20 years younger than I am. I have learned that age is not a barrier to friendship.<br />
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Here, it is refreshing to know people that expect nothing and give easily.

I am too, and I am a very needy person. I need constant reassurance, especially concerning how I look. I enjoyed your comments, Musicbox626, and benefited from reading them. thanks

I understand this XD Ive had people say the right things and then dump me when theyve got what they want Ive kinda learnt to be careful to. <br />
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xx<br />
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That is so brave of you. I am here for you. Be brave, be strong.

That is the most beautiful thing you could have said. THank you. I completely understand you. Now the hard part. Building that self esteem. No matter how good someone makes me feel, I can find a way to convince myself it isn't true, that they don't really care for me. <br />
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The other problem is that I thought I had found that person, and I finally allowed myself to believe that she loved me for me and nothing more. 15 years later, I discover I was wrong. That is devastating to me. <br />
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EP is helping. You are helping, CK is helping. I am blessed to have friends on the journey. Thank you soooo much.<br />
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Let me tell you something though....I'd take the best friend over any guy/gal any day. Best friends, as much as they might stab you in the back at times, would never pull your heart out, stomp on it, tear it up and put it back in. <br />
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The best friend is always the one I turn to.