All by Myself

In my life, instead of asking for help, I find the answers myself.  I spend hours and hours searching for solutions that I could easily get if only I asked.  I took physics last semester, and I rarely asked questions.  I never talked to my fellow students.  I just couldn't bring myself to ask.  I felt like I would be taking advantage of other students if I asked questions.

I left college, and now I do my own private study.  Sometimes I can't even bring myself to ask a question on an online BB.  I'm afraid I won't phrase the question right.  More than that, there's this voice in the back of my head that says I shouldn't waste other people's time because if I just searched long enough I could find the answer myself.

I really hate that I don't ask for help.  I know that give and take is an important part of relationships.  Both people need to help each other.  I've cut myself off from that reciprocation, and it's not a good thing.

Downtempo Downtempo
22-25, M
1 Response Oct 3, 2009

I can relate. It's because I'm a loner, I don't talk to other students and I don't talk to the professors. I'm doing two majors and I don't have a single friend in either one. It's my loneliness that prevents me from branching out towards other people... it's as if I have a tendency to keep my existence really low key, practically invisible, because I don't feel like I'm on the same level as them. I have no solutions to offer, I hope we can figure it out eventually.