Fear of a Thing I Can Not Control

Possibly the reason it scares me so much is because there is nothing i can do about it. Sometimes i get so deep into thought about it that i just want to break down and hide. It is almost a phobia, but i refuse to ruin my life by thinking about my death too much. Just to think that we stop existing, its something that my mind can't even comprehend very well. I will miss what the world is like after that, what my children will be like, what their children will be like. and if there is no afterlife, i will never EVER see anyone i ever knew ever again. Even writing this now, i have a horrid feeling in my stomach. My life is only a little blip in the life of this planet. It is so insignificant and fragile. There are so many different ways i could die, its insane. I hate the way it makes me feel.  

jesskuhismynamo jesskuhismynamo
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 28, 2009

i also feel immense panic wen i think of it. i cant get it out of my head and then everything seems pointless, it stops me enjoying life and i feel paniky. i no noone can help because noone can tel me it wont happen...feel like a freak cause noone else seems 2 think of it except me. they all seem able 2 enjoy life regardless..how do they do it