My Driving Demon Needs to Be Defeated

I am a 45 year old woman who does not drive. I was an child with epilepsy so driving was naturally a scary prospect. All my doctors told me not to learn. My brother got into a terrible accident and when he came home he said "I will never drive again". I was ten. I believed him. He did drive again of course, my my fear was then entrenched.

Now, lots of changes have happened to me in the last few years. I have gained confidence, lost alot of weight (147 pounds) and become my own person. I am a strong advocate for my family and friends and feel like I am more AUTHENTIC than I have ever been. So the "not driving thing" has become an incongruent issue. It doesn't fit my "picture" of myself anymore. I see it as something that I have to face now. I need more independence and I need to feel freer. Driving will do that. 

Do I still battle with the fear? Yes. Especially since I had a license ONCE and promptly got into an accident. I didn't drive again. That has to change. I do not want to grow older with less freedom, I want more.

I am currently searching for a person who can take me driving and deal with my issues calmly and with care but not someone who specializes in teen drivers. I am in So. Cal and need some lessons on freeway driving especially.

 That's my situation. I will keep you updated. I am "walking through the fire" as the saying goes...

miasperanza miasperanza
46-50, F
3 Responses Feb 24, 2009

This is so cool. It inspires me to look for the places in life where I am blocked. I will be looking forward to the next installment of your journey!

Thanks, Issac95. I appreciate your comments.

Good for you, we should all look at our lives in such a light. I hope you find what you're looking for.