What's There to Be Afraid Of?

I'm nearly 27 years old and I didn't get down to starting my driving lessons until two months ago. If it weren't for my mom I still wouldn't be anywhere near getting behind the steering wheel of a car. I tried practising a bit with my mom right after I turned 18, but I wound up hitting a flower bed(and nearly a gas pump too) because my mom tried to get me to BACK UP to fill gas(and that was only the second- and last- time I drove).

After that I've vowed to public transport, up until late last year when my mom figured it would be a good idea to shove me head-first into it. As fate would have it, one of her colleagues at work has a son my age who happens to be a driving instructor. So my mom came to me after work one day last November and matter-of-factly informed me that she had booked me an appointment with him. And that without asking me first. Needless to say I was furious, not only because she had gone behind my back, but also because she obviously couldn't care less about my saying that I didn't feel the need or the desire to learn how to drive.

I dragged myself through the mandatory(well, here in Norway at least- as of 2005 in fact) 5-day theory course. Some weeks after the completion of the course my instructor called me to schedule my first lesson. When I sat down behind the wheel for the first time my entire body shook......I was completely and utterly horrified. Even though we just started driving at a small parking lot I was still scared halfway to death.

As of now I've been driving for two months and I still haven't completed neither the theory exam nor the practical exam. I hope to finish the theory exam this coming week, but if I fail(that is: have more than 7 errors out of 45 possible) I'll have to wait a whole two weeks before I'm permitted to try again. And after that comes the practical exam *sigh*

For some reason I'm still shaking to the core every time I know that I'm going out driving. I can't really explain what I'm worried about, because I'm not actually concerned about wrecking the car or crashing into anything. I just always seem to be making stupid mistakes, such as killing the engine when I have to stop and start again immediately, stopping the car completely when I shouldn't have etc. This really gets to me and I feel so disappointed with myself for doing so many silly things because I know that I can and should get by without making those mistakes. 

Today I nearly hit another car going into a roundabout, because I for some infathomable reason started cutting off into his lane. My mom's partner(whom I was driving with) yelled and I threw the steering wheel in the opposite direction to avert the crisis. Afterwards I felt like such a moron because I KNEW so well that I was supposed to stick to the left lane all the way around. For some reason I have an odd way of veering to the right when I'm supposed to keep left and cut to the left when I'm supposed to stay on the right side. Not very good at checking the mirrors very frequently either, especially not the one on the right side of the car. Plus I failed to stop for a crossing car so that my mom's partner slammed the handbrake on and we wound up standing across the road with two wheels on each lane. Bummer!!

So that's basically me in a nutshell. Always worried about freaking out or losing control, every single time. And of course making mistakes accordingly. I just wish I could calm down and convince myself that I'm good at this. It does get better every time, but I just wish I could go through one single lesson without committing any errors.....

Altena Altena
26-30, F
3 Responses Mar 17, 2009

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Relaxxxxxxxxx You are freaking yourself out!

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I have read this report and it really helped me in my confidence. The Author Alex Hunter really showed expert knowledge and understanding not only in eliminating the fear in driving but also in building your confidence and skills in driving.