Just Months Left to Live

I am a young women 40-50 I was diagnosed with brain cancer 5 months ago. I have no family, and my husband whom i have been separated from for a year came back to help me, well he only made it with me for 2 months before he left again, this time i can't take him back ,not even so i won't die alone ,he causes more grief than support. I have about 12months to live or less, I am so very very afraid to die alone. i don't know how to deal with this, i only have one friend that stuck around through all of this,but i still feel so alone.I just lost my best pet jimmy james my cat a coyote kileed him,and i am so upset he was always there for me ,you know how a pet is,so i lost him now i feel even more alone. please help me to understand how to deal with this, or just talk to me thank you

sharyn11 sharyn11
14 Responses Aug 13, 2009

Hi honey my name is Donna I'm 53 in ca wanna chat sometime

sharon my name is don hi

I am a 71 year old retired male with advanced glaucoma and I fear blindness worse then death, I wish I could be of some help to you other then words and all i can think of is prayer so I will pray for both you and I. May God be with you and I am sure he will after all he is our creator and our father.

Turn to god, because after all, he is the only one who can help you.<br />
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With love <3

Hello are you still us?

This is one of the best blogs I have found. I just wish there was something here for me. I was transfered to a job 1,000 miles away from anywhere I knew, diag with Stage IV IFB cancer withing two weeks, lost my job, under went 19 months of chemo, Rad, surgery - knowing no one in this town. Was not permitted to go out in public because of the Chemo - so ate mostly canned veggies I ordered on the net. Did not see a single person who was not a medical provider or taxi driver for the entire time. Them Yea on 9 Oct 2010 they told me I was cancer free- they lied. On 2 November they found two Brain Tumors - one 19 mm inoperable on brain stem and another 22 mm turmor - how they never caught these before I don't know. <br />
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So now I sit doomed to death - getting full brain nukes daily - dumped in the cab and back to my house. No calls, no contacts from anyone other than the hospital demanding money. I can not drive because of double vission, I can not read, I can not even watch tv. The 'hospital' care givers tell me I shoud just go out and do eveything I ever wanted - but all I am able to do is lie on the floor next to the toilet and be in pain. <br />
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The best I got from my family was gee too bad - keep in touch. Dying is bad enough - knowing that in essese even God thinks I have no value is worse.

Hello Sharyn, i honestly am so sorry to hear about your situation, and wish i could hug you right now.. it is a very difficult time for you, but i agree with sparkysh's approach to faith and spiritual thinking.. and positivity. I am a big believer in the power of Prayer and positive thinking. It is all i can offer you at this time, and believe me that God is there for you always, but especially in difficult times like this and He will be there for you at all times. My love and support are with you as well, anytime.

I have read your story and you made me share a secret no one knows about. When i was during a break in LA i was coughing none stop then i saw blood which made me go insane. I went straight to a doctor and found out that i have Lung cancer i was completely shocked with the news and had nothing to think about except leaving the people i love. i have a couple of years before i die therefore i decided to stay strong and pretend i didn't hear this news. I Am still young and didn't get married or had kids. I am the kind of person i love life and love people. I always help people around me but no one helps me. i was dating a guy for nearly 4 years, he used to beat me up and cheat on me behind my back. I broke up with him after that so i can live a normal life. My parents were kind of separated but not divorced. My mother's family used to interfere in my life which always stressed me out. <br />
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I asked my self what do i truly want to do in my life? do i want pain and sickness to ruin my life or do i want to search for my happiness? so i decided to live my life without telling anyone that i am sick since i don't want to hear their sympathy or their pressure on treatment. No one knows not even my friends. I only told one person who was so mean to me and didn't support me at all because he thought i was being weak. Instead of supporting me he was annoying me so i decided to kick him out of my life since he is stressing me out.<br />
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I decided what makes me happy is achieving my dreams and goals. My first bachelor degree was business management following my parent's decision. I always loved journalism and documentary films so i booked a ticket, packed my bags and moved to LA . I was fighting to find a job as journalist or documentary film director so i continued my studies in film making along with double major journalism and finally found a job as a journalist. I am also working on documentary short films. I can frankly say i reached my ultimate happiness by reaching my goals.<br />
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I know having a family was my goal number one but since i couldn't find Mr. right i can't say it makes me sad because i reached half of my dreams.In addition to that to get all the way to here was a huge achievement which made me realize that if i made that happen, i can cure my self with good will and determination. I don't believe in cancer treatment with all do respect because it makes death come closer. <br />
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I believe in faith and spiritual thinking. Always positivity can cure any awful disease. I always tell my self in the morning i am strong not weak, i am tired not sick, i am a fighter not a quitter, i am alive now not dead. Never give up always fight to live. Avoid people who stresses you out and find people who love you and support you. Life is not easy but we make it easy. <br />
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I am fighting this disease on my own in a new city where i don't know anyone. People at work stay at work and real friends don't exist anymore. If you are still thinking of the past, it will only ruin your life. Let the pain go by believing in your strength. <br />
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Always my love and support anytime you need to talk.

if its not to late, ask your doctor about drinking some clove tea

Hello there Sharyn. I am 44, last May I was told that I have 18 months give or take to live. That was when they removed a Tumor the size of a quarter from my brain. I have Stage 4 Metastatic Adenocarcinoma, Pulmonary primary. This sucks so I can feel some of what you are dealing with. I am pissed off. I have no one to share with also, lost my wife 4 years ago and grew distant from all. If you want to talk, look me up. Wish you only the best.

I´m so sorry. This made me cry. All I can say is I´ll be thinking of you and of course you can write me if you ever want to talk. take care

I'm sorry you're going through this. Another commenter mentioned hospice and if there is one in your area they usually have strong support services...groups, counseling etc.<br />
I don't know if this is helpful but...after several years of being housebound by an illness, I slowly started to volunteer at a local shelter. The animals there needed love and attention and I believe I benefited more than they did. I realize you may not be in a position to do this.<br />
Please keep making phone calls to get support services. You should not have to deal with this alone.

Sharyn11, i feel so horrible for you, at such a young age to be facing cancer like this. I am sorry about you "husband" whom you are seperated from, it sounds like your better off without him. thats the last thing you need right now. Do things that make you happy, try going out with friends if you feel up to it, surround yourself with things that simply make you happy. I know how scary the feeling of being alone is. But your not alone, there are many people out there that would love to help. God be with you & you will be in my prayers for sure. Your life doesn't have an age on it, have faith. & be strong, push everyday. message me if you want someone to talk to! I'm here, god bless you Sharyn xoxo paige

Dear sharyn11. I read your story and my heart goes out to you. I didn't want to not leave a message. What you are going through sounds very scary. Is there are group you can find out about to meet up with people who are going through the same experience? I too feel lonely at the moment because my husband and I have separated because he has mental illness and is paranoid about me, so as lonely as i feel (as I used to rely on him for everything) I do not have his kindness or friendship and look to myself and God to pull me up out of my lonliness. I am sorry to hear about your pet. That really stinks! I got my bike stolen recently and it only reminded me of the pain of losing my husband at the moment to his illness. Sometimes you just need to take 1 minute at a time. Get yourself support, do something nice for yourself. I hope my message brings you some comfort. Love in Christ flowers45 (hug)