I Am Afraid of Getting Hurt

A New Girl

By: SoMuchToSay

Written on September 27th, 2008

So I just started dating this new girl exclusively. We click and everything is great, we have awesome chemistry and lots of fun together. The only thing is I'm scared of getting hurt again.

We went out on out first date the beginning of the month. Everything went well and when we were gonna go out again she said that she couldn't cause this other guy she was dating wanted to be exclusive and she's already invested some time with him. She said we could be friends and she feels so bad cause I'm a really great guy. I talked to her maybe once after that and than all of a sudden two weeks later she asked me what I was doing on a friday night. She came over and we went out, I got really drunk, so drunk that I couldn't remember stuff. Basically we had sex and I had to run to the bathroom and get sick right in the middle of it. I've never been more embarrassed. I woke up and she was gone, I called her that day and she said it was a mistake and that it would never happen again. I couldn't believe that I did that cause she was with another guy. However for the next week we seemed to talk a lot by text message and IM and than on the phone. Turns out that she dumped the guy, but never told me about it, she was confused. Well I asked her if she wanted to go out on Thursday, wasn't quite sure what she was thinking, but it was a date. We had a great time and ended up going back to my mom's house and had sex, but this time we were sober and it was almost like it was our first time even though it wasn't. We talked a bit after wards and just laid together in bed. We decided to just see each other and she told me that I don't have to worry so much that she wouldn't cheat. I'm scared that my emotion might get too involved and that I could get hurt again. I really like her, she said I can trust her, and we've been really open about things with each other. She's even going to spend the next weekend at my place. Should I trust her until I have a reason not to?

By: SoMuchToSay

Age: 31-35 , Male

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8 responses

SoMuchToSay

Yeah there are some other things that I'm good at that can keep her interested and coming back for more, but I'm not going to say what that is.

Sep 27, 2008
1 like
shuttermagic

Have fun and see what happens. But its hard not to get hurt when its getting more involved especially knowing there was another guy in picture before or during.

I'm not fond of games like hard to get and all that. I don't get it. Sure if the chase is gone the excitement can drop but you can make other excitement.

Sep 27, 2008
1 like
HeavenBesideYou

I say you give it a shot and see what happens, Honey.

Hugs.

Sep 27, 2008
1 like
SoMuchToSay

she always kinda plays hard to get, and acted like she just wanted to be friends and nothing more, but I know she was totally into me. I think now I just have her admitting it. I think it should be okay, I'll definately know more so after the next weekend when we'll be together.

Sep 27, 2008
1 like
forgottenfire11

i think if she's gonna cheat on the other guy wiht you

she will def cheat on you with someone else... you've already slept with her what else is she gonna want

Sep 27, 2008
1 like
marcus101

My own experience has shown me that when I have an unplanned situation, if the person is happy with that, and it works for me, then things generally work out.

Mind you, that is no guarantee, merely a starting point.

If people are ambivalent or unsure about it, I usually tend to give them plenty of space so they can decide whether or not that was really what they wanted - usually people are very clear right off whether or not that was the case, but it's not always a hard and fast rule.

Sep 27, 2008
1 like
SoMuchToSay

well, it's just the fact that she slept with me and wasn't completely done with the other guy. That's the one thing that sticks out. Makes me wonder what if another guy comes along. She didn't plan on sleeping with me both times she did, that's what she told me. I'm gonna go with it though and see what happens, if it drives me too crazy than I'm gonna have to figure something out.

Sep 27, 2008
1 like
marcus101

-Do you have a reason not to trust her?

-Do you think there is something deep down that doesn't attract you to her that you are not facing, despite the fact that you get along well with her in other respects?

If the answer is NO to both questions, I'd say you should press on and see what happens.

If you answer YES to either question, then I'd suggest slowing things down until you can answer them to your own satisfaction...

Sep 27, 2008
1 like

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