I Want To Scream

I'm afraid of losing control because I suffer from depression and I have been having spells of basically being catatonic for hours at a time and all I can think of when I'm in these catatonic states is getting up, screaming at the top of my lungs and starting to destroy everything around me.  I am worried that I'm going crazy.  I don't know if this is a symptom of depression or not, but either I'm going back into a deep depression or I have something else wrong with me.  I'm not on any meds and I haven't been for about ten years, and I've only had a few depressive episodes...but I don't know how much more of it I can take.  Everytime I have a depressive episode I isolate myself and I let everything go by the wayside.  I screw up at work, I alienate my friends, I have failed out of school once because of it...I don't want to go through all this again.  I don't know what to do.

kerrab1983 kerrab1983
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 5, 2010

you are at a good start by talking about it. Depression can put us in all kinds of different moods in the same day.I hate the fear of losing cantrol..