My Mother Is My World

So, I am afraid of losing my mother, yes I am.
We've been through so much together.... she wasn't always the best person in the past, but she improved greatly.
We went from arguing almost everyday when I was a teenager to us being best friends.

I lost my father to cancer 3 years ago.

My mom is not the healthiest either, and I also suffer from this, what can I say, I have their blood... but yeah, I fear it a lot.

A part of me died when my father went. If anything happens to her... I think that's everything. 
aquinski aquinski
10 Responses Jan 26, 2011

think postive thoughts about her plus keep in touch with her ask her about her day and never loss hope

Hi,<br />
<br />
I read your feelings and find it great that there are many people who love their parents. I lost my mother thirteen months back due to breast cancer. <br />
<br />
Though since my birth my only friend was and even now is my mother, in my teen age, like all I also use to fight with my mother on the issues which now has no sense for me, but over a period of time propably with improvement of my maturity levelsI was sharing almost everything possible under the sun with her, and in past few months I do not know whom to speak to and with whom do I share all my feelings.<br />
<br />
As we all know, death is inevitable, with my experience only thing I can say is spend as much time with her as much is possible for you and live every moment of time spent with her, so that later you should not have regret that you missed out on something.<br />
<br />
Regards,<br />
<br />

hello people,<br />
i have also lost my father , my sister and on aug1, my mother. losing is hard and easy. the hard part you already know, but the easy part when you remember death is a process, not an ending. a departure, not a forever gone. we live in a world where it looks like it's final, we don't know where they go, yet we hear their voices and feel with our soul as we live the memories. i love the way myroseyself said she recognises her hum is in a better place than we. would you really want your mum to not go to disneyland? no.<br />
the way i got over my sister, was realising i don't want someone to meet me in 500 yrs (or any time in the future) and expect me to be the person they saw. i realised i need to love her for her essence and accept that anywhere.<br />
try to enjoy the time you have and to remeber it is just adieu, not goodbye.

How about anyone who reads this just now ...just phone, text or mail someone and just say <br />
<br />
pasS it on

I understand how you feel. I lost my mother, father and four sisters. All of us were very close to one another. My mom had breast cancer which went into remission for a number of years and then returned. When it returned, it quickly spread throughout her body. She never complained, never lost any hair from taking chemotherapy, and didn't even look like she was at all sick. But I truly do miss her. I sometimes still think about calling her whenever I need to talk or just want to talk with her. I remember the shopping trips we used to take. I remember going to church with her and listening to her beautiful voice as she sang God's songs. As much as I would like to have her back here with me, I believe that she is in a better place than I am righ now. And I also believe that I will get to see her again when I leave this place. I don't know what your beliefs are, but I pray that you will deal with what happens when your mom is gone by getting closer to God. That is the only way that I was able to deal with the passing of my dear mom and other family members. God loves us and gives us peace through all the situations we go through in life if we want Him to help me us. He is good and will help you through whatever you may feel at that time. I pray all goes well with you when you need it.

thank you everyone so much for your stories and kind words.<br />
i really wish you all the best as well. i know it isn't easy, but it is a part of life we must face sometimes. no matter what age or race, death will come to the people we care about and eventually ourselves someday. i really appreciate you all opening up about your experiences and feelings. and i don't feel so alone in going through this. and Tigerfeet, it is comforting indeed! <br />
<br />
to everyone, yeps just live everyday to the fullest and show your mother you love her whenever you can. take care and all the best to you and your family!

i understand your fear. i am 40 and lost my dad 18 yrs ago and my mom started getting sick when i was 13 and died when i was 28. it was and is one of the hardest things i have had to deal with. i took care of my mom and my 2 siblings from the time she got sick until the day she died. to this day i think of her and wish i could talk to her. 3 years ago my sister in law who i was closer to than any other member of my family died of cancer. i was with her when she found out, i was the one she asked to shave her head when the chemo started causing her hair to fall out, and i was the one that told her 2 teenagers that she had died in her sleep. death is THE WORST thing to deal with in life- it doesn't matter how old you are it just plain sucks! the only thing that keeps me going is knowing the way they all would want me to live. the people we love and that love us would never want you to give up, they would want you to continue to live, laugh and love. no matter how hard it seems at the time. since your mom is still alive talk to her about how you feel, tell her you are scared of being with out her. that way when the time comes you know you have not left anything unsaid or undone.and live your life in a way that honors your loved ones. love them while you can.

It is natural to feel as you do . But we all know that no one lives for ever. We all die. It's nature. <br />
<br />
You say your mum has improved a lot ; maybe you also have become more accepting as a person.<br />
<br />
The last thing your mum wants is for you to be soul- destroyed when she has passed over. She wants your happiness in all things and she won't be happy knowing that you aren't.<br />
<br />
The thing to do now, is make sure that when the bad day comes, you have absolutely nothing to regret or reproach yourself for. So many people say to me .....''oh I wish I had told my mum I love her ,, thanked my dad for ...... said to my mum ....done for my mum .....taken my mum and dad ..........'' <br />
<br />
Make sure you tell her NOW things NOW ...share things ..NOW her things NOW ...and if you think to phone ...don't leave it to tomorrow it NOW <br />
<br />
This way you will have nothing to reproach yourself in future and when the bad day comes you will cry and then hold your head high and smile at the legacy she has created.

I lost my father over a year and a half ago. My parents had been married over 60 years; Mom misses him now terribly. Now I am watching her deteriorate medically; if she were in much pain it would be difficult. But she keeps up a good attitude even when her legs fail to support her. We kids are encouraging her to write a book about her life and to show us some of the real old pictures of family to point out who is related to whom.<br />
It is difficult; being the eldest, I get to set up funeral arrangements and all that. I would much rather simply talk to Mom. but the way things are, she wont be around much longer. The best thing you can do is support your mom and help her as she is going through difficult times. By all means let her know how much you love her. I found that with my dad I drew closer to him before he passed, and I knew much more about him then than when he was alive.<br />
I wish the best for you, your mother, and extended family.

I think I understand how you feel. I have a terrible fear of losing my mum as well. I lost my dad 3 years ago. It wasn't to cancer though, he had a stroke in 2004, exactly 1 week after they celebrated their Golden Wedding anniversary. The next 3 years up until he died were an awful time for the whole family but I think especially for me & my mum as we were the people who spent most time with him. To watch a once strong, intelligent & caring man almost disintegrate before our eyes over this period of time was heartbreaking.<br />
<br />
The 1 good thing that came out of my dad's illness & subsequent death was my mum & I discovered a new love, respect & understanding for one another. We 3 were together when my dad passed away & we 2 held each other up over the weeks & months which followed, while feeeelings were still raw & painful.<br />
<br />
During my teenage years, my mum & I argued constantly. Today that has all changed, we get on really well, I am now her carer & why not, she cared for me for years, long after I should have been able to take care of myself. I tooo, sometimes spend my time worrying & feeling upset about how hard it'd be if I couldn't see her or speak to her again. It can really be quite overwhelming at times. It really is comforting to know I'm not the only person who feels this way.<br />
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All the best