Can't Live Without Her

I know that somewhere in the future she will leave me.  The thing is that I can't imagine the world without her I love my mother more than anything else. When I was a kid and she went to a visit a neighbor I sensed that she wasn't home and I begun to look for her and I am talking all the time I lived there.  I left home at 26.  I had to be at her side always.

I talk with her everyday and just thinking that some day she will not be around bring me to tears.  How can I cope with that I have no idea it would be horrifying, part of my life with leave with her.  I rather die first than seeing her die.

jc2009 jc2009
41-45, M
21 Responses Apr 10, 2009

i'm 24 years old and I live in a constant state of fear that at some point, a day will come whereby my mom isn't around anymore. I can't let go of this memory I have of something that happened in grade 8 when my older brother had gone to school with the house keys and my mom had to come to my school looking for them. she asked for me and they sent her to my class, I remember the look on her face she was so excited to see me in school thinking I'd also be just as excited. but there was a girl I was trying to impress at the time and I remember how upset I was that she came to me instead of going to my brother. at the time I thought she was embarrassing me by showing up like that so I took it upon myself to give her lip. I gave her a very horrible response when she asked about the house keys, practically shouted at her because I didn't want the girl to see me with her. this happened over 11 years ago and to this day I still feel guilty about it. I felt bad when it happened, but unlike many other things I've done to hurt my loved one's before. l just can't seem to forget this one. it haunts me everyday and when I think about the fact that I'm gonna lose her one day, it just takes me back to that day and I feel as though I still haven't done nearly as enough to make up for it. I pray to be a better son to her and hopefully what ever time she has left in gods green earth. she smiles because she has me as her son. but I haven't been able to make that happen. I just pray to god he gives me a chance to be a better son to her and keep her long enough for me to make up for all these years of being a horrible child, talking back to her and getting upset over little things. god knows I love this women with my entire being and it's incredibly hard for me to accept that she will leave me one day. I wish I knew a way to keep her with me forever. but it's quite the unfortunate thing that death is inevitable.

Hi! I know that you're here to find help but we all keep telling you our own stories. It is just to show you that we are all in the same case but nobody as a magic solution for it. As everybody said, just do your best while you're together because nobody can stop the time unfortunetely.. I am 17 y eats old and my mom has a stomac cancer in final stage. She is always at the hospital and I can see her some days when I came home from school and just for 2/3 hours.. She is suffering since two years and it is getting worth and worth and no one can help, so I fear the day she will leave me, because I also love her more than anything and anybody but I always try to think positively, to think that it could be even worth and I am sooo greatfull that I had so a perfect mom for 17 years. I know, there are somedays, when we think about possibely losing her and we feel ourselfs dying inside because we are so powerless against life and time. I know, just be positif and always try to be by her side till the day time will decide to take her back..

i want to die along with my mother..i dont find any other reason to live my life..i love her more than anything else..i just cry at the thought of losing her..cannot concentrate on anything..please help me out.

My mum left when I was 2 now in 12 can u help

Hello,Its been almost like 10 months i havent seen my mom:( though i talk to her 4-5 times daily..its so tough to live far away from her.She has been diagonosed with high sugar and i feel so helpless that i cant do anything for her.I love her soooo much my best friend,guide,teacher ,my God everything is my mom. Its due to her that i became a doctor.
Few months ago I had lost my mother in law and that was like a shock wave to our family ,I saw how everyone had shattered down.
Nobody knows what is going to happen just the next minute, so its better to utilize the time and let know the people u love what they mean to you, so that once they are gone you dont regret that you couldnt tell them.
Guys maybe ur mom have left you or might leave you but they are omnipresent never ever feel they have left you.

I lost my mum Jan 28th this year nothing prepared you for this I miss her so much my life is empty just feel like giving up so I can be with her again, I just cry everyday and night It just doesn't seem fair I didn't get to say bye it was so sudden if there is a God why is he so cruel

I recently lost my beloved Mum, I am 55 and obviously knew one day this would happen, but....but life doesnt seem worth living now, i miss her so much and cant stop thinking about her last days. I love her more than anything, and even to some people who ask about my family, I say I have my mum, or Im going to see her. I ring her phone, and just for a nano second I think its alright she's going to answer, and its all a bad dream. Sad I know, but I want her back so I can look after her and keep her safe. Live your life happily with your mum and please do talk to her about what should happen after she's gone, I wish I had. Ask her how you should feel, or think, she will reassure you and you will have that to cling to one day.

I thought I was some weirdo obsessed with my mom. I feel like I have it worse than anyone else still. I have to always tell her I love her when we part and for her to be careful, actually I say it over and over again. I want to protect her because I feel like she's so weak and fragile. I'm always worrying that something's going to happen to her, I'm stressed out 24.7 and I think about her all day. Sometimes I cry when she's at work..we share a room and a bed together because of our financial situation, but I think that I would come stay in her bed with her even if I had my own. I've always been super close to my mother, and in the past few years everything that we've gone through together has only brought us closer, even with her breaking down and letting me take care of her, not even knowing how to take care of myself, and dragging me into abusive relationships. Even after seeing all of her anger and flaws, it doesn't matter, I still think of her as a perfect angel. I just love her so much. I feel like she's old and weak, and sickly and could die any moment, and I feel like I would die without her. I have faith, but when I think about her dying, I get so scared and wonder if I'll ever be able to be with her again. I don't need anyone or anything, but her.

do you know how lucky you are to have your mom? Please don't worry about what will be and enjoy your relationship now. My poor mom has suffered cancer for 2 yrs and 10 months, the type of cancer she has doesn't have a cure...a week ago doctors stopped chemo and told her they can't do anything for her, she cried. 4 days ago we stopped dialysis on her because she stopped eating and drinking a day after the doc told her they can't do anything for her. She is now in a comatose state because of the morphine, she is in so much pain, i saw her almost every day for the past 2 yrs and 10 months because i knew the day will come, she has startec losing circulation in her legs, her body is shutting down, she is getting ready to go. She hasn't been able to communicate for a week now, i can't concentrate and it feels like i have to remind myself to breathe, i cry all the time. I love my mom so much, i feel as though i am going to die, my heart is constantly pounding and i am afraid that i will get that call when i'm not with her...i know i will need psychiatric help after but i dont think it will help...i will love and miss her every moment of my life till the day i see her again.

Hey all. I so know what you mean. I have lost my mom on april first this year so that's like three weeks ago. I can't even describe how I'm feeling. My world has stopped turning. Mom and I were always together. Always. We had so much fun and so many plans for the future. But that stupid cancer came between us. My mom went to the hospital on march 27 to have an life-saving operation and all seemed well. The doctors were positive. But then they found spots on her liver during the surgery and they had to stop. Five days later mom died due to the surgery. On the fifth day she had an internal bleeding she got blood in her lungs and went in a coma. I had to make the decision to stop the treatments. Mom is gone... I can't live without her...

am a far from my mum.. i cant stop my tears ..really missing dying for her...

to all of you who are afraid of losing your mothers, i lost mine 2 months ago. At one time i felt exactly the way you do but know that God is taking very good care of your mom until the time that you are reunited. Pray for strenth in your time of grief and he will be there to guide you also. He knows your pain, he is your father.

hey, i can understand ur feelings, i just come through this post by google, also i feel the same.<br />
no worries dude, life teaches everything, i am not suggesting u anything. nor it wud be of any help.<br />

I feel the same way. I always have since I was little. I hope my mom and I will go at the same time. That way she won't have to suffer the pain of me being gone and I won't have to suffer the pain of her being gone either. I'm sure there is someone out there who has felt the same way we do and actually lost their mother. I wonder what happend to them....? I dread it.

I said to my mum once, id rather die before you mum, i know it sounds selfish but i couldnt go through the pain of losing you then having to live without you, my mum was shocked and said oh love dont say that, my mum was very ill with cancer terminal and then i was diagnosed with cancer ive been treated with surgery chemo and radio just 3 more years to wait to see if it pops up again else where and if not im in remission, i sat with mum a few weeks ago and said mum if this hasnt gone or spreads and its my time to go will you come for me, she said yes if its within my power i'll come for you... my mum passed away 19 days ago and im devastated so lost without her i knew the day would come but it didnt make it any easier....

Hey I am so afraid of losing my mother what is it like how long we're you devastated, my mom means the whole world to my please tell me or give me advice

My dear friend,<br />
<br />
Life is a journey and we need to go with that...................., and I am sure that one day some one will come who love you so much as you do love your mother. You should live for them.

Thank you for all your comments. I thought that I was the only one who felt so strongly about losing his mother. Men are raised to show no emotion and I thought that it was inadequate to feel like that and to want to be near his mom all the time.

I also feel sad about the thought of losing my Mom. She is like my best friend, big sister and teacher all rolled into one person. I love her very much and call her once or twice a day and try to visit at least twice a week. I can't imagine my world without Mom. She has been my rock to lean on for many years. If she goes before I do I am counting on God to help me get through it.

Thanks for your comment. I wonder that too that's why I would rather die first.

I feel exactly the same. I don't know how I could ever live without her... I think if she left now I would die from heartbreak. I know she will have to leave someday and I really wonder how it's going to be possible to bear...

Thank you for your comment she was home today and I took her some pictures I always do. Because of work I don't see her very often but I call her every day.

its the same with me and my mom. i dont blame you, but just dont worry about it dont think about whats going to happen when shes gone, worry about how you can spend as much time as possible with her now. btw take lots of pictures. they help :)