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I'm Too Scared to Tell Her Anything

I love her. I really do, but whenever i want to talk it's like she's not there or too busy. Even when she's not i just can't get the words out. It's like this big knot forms in my stomach and all these bubbles are stuck in my throat and then i just can't breath. So i just stop thinking  about whatever i was going to tell her and walk away.

I'm just scared of her reaction it's like i expect her to say or do the worsest things.In my house the only reaction you get to any news is i don't care or anger. So i find it better to keep all news to myself unless i'm 100% sure it will get to someone.

desertedangel desertedangel 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 27, 2009

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at a soul level she already knows. don't let it eat you up. try to connect on a spiritual level, by this i mean, not talking really, just being with her. let her feel you.<br />
thinking guy is right. we can't make people into what we want them as long asthe behaviour is not unacceptable, which if you are old enough you should say, if not, keep away. try to do your best for her and don't worry. my mother recently passed, she was not a good mother, but i learned "honour thy mother and father" has no escape clauses. this will bring healing regardless of the condition of that mother. the universe loves and accepts her just as she is, just as it does you and me.

Have you ever asked her "Why don't you want to talk to me?" I had a grandmother very like that, and it disturbed me. As I was young, I asked my Mom as grandma was Moms Mom. I found out something I did not expect.<br />
Grandma was born in a very different culture; one where mothers never spoke intimately with their children. Rather, they 'instructed' them, and that was considered sufficient. The rest was left to the Nanny. My Mom didnt even have a close relationship with her Mom. After a while I began to understand grandmas culture, what was expected and what was not, what was 'proper' and what was not. I learned to relate to grandma according to her own culture.<br />
I dont know if this helps, but it might be worth a shot.