Maybe because tons of people I know did not have a succesful marriage.
Plus, I am afraid of what my married friends and my mom has been telling me... that once you get married, there's always a chance that you will lost your interest for each other...

Knowing myself, my greatest fear is knowing that my a significant other of mine have lost his love for me....

I admire intimacy. I love the feeling of the excitement knowing youll be together with someone you love and now, Imagining myself going home in my house with my husband in it...without any excitement, without any joy, and just because we try to protect our marriage, just because one pity the other is what I fear the most... Even the truth that I have to deal with my in-laws makes me afraid... and me being paranoid that my partner is with someone else just because he got home late. Maybe what made this fear worst is by reading and watching anything about marriage. Ive been a fan of those things cuz even if Im still a teenager, and single, Im always assuring myself that the next man that would be my boyfriend is the one that I am sure to have a family with and there is where all these marriage thoughts came up to my mind and now, I started to be afraid of it.... So I thought, I'd never let myself fall for anyone... cuz I know that I am not that girl to build a family with. (add the fact that I am too hard to deal with and the worst girlfriend anyone could ever have) and bcause I am not brave enough to face it... But I am still hoping that someone would prove me wrong in these thoughts..... which i think is not going to happen.
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Dec 12, 2015