Fear And Loathing

My father treated me like ****, my 4 older brothers treat me like ****(and always have), my boyfriend of 30YEARS I  found out has been cheating on me with everyone from office ***** to prostitutes since the first week we moved in together back in 1981. I kicked him out. The first guy I date after 30 years of this got me to lend him $ for a business, then dumped me and went back to his wife. Then a guy moved into the house I share a driveway with, and started bullying me about landscaping, and actually started trying to take over a large part of my land, until I had to sue him to get him to back off, The male lawyer I hired then turned into a thief. Then I hurt my hand, and the male surgeon did a **** job, and "fired " me as a patient when I complained, and all the male doctors in the stinking little town I,m in have pretty much ganged up on me. I now have to go elsewhere for a 2nd surgery.. I have been feeling really ill for a long time now, and I have made a huge effort to keep healthy, and to dress well when I go out. I always cared about my appearrance, but Iately I,ve made more of an effort to make outfits and look really together. It makes up for the falling apart I feel inside. But the attention I am suddenly getting is disturbing, because it is mostly from guys who are WITH a woman already!!!! The women mostly notice, and one nearly ran me over with her shopping cart, and another just started walking right into me when her husband asked me for directions, like she wanted to knock me down. Then I joined a class and a girl nearly went ape **** when her boyfriend just said one thing to me, BUT he was looking at my legs!!! My shorts were down to my knees by the way.  Then I hired a man to help me look at the harddrive of an old computer be,cause I wanted to see what else my boyfriend had been up to in the past. I mean this was when **** was in its infancy-and my boyfriend had a collection that even surprised the computer guy. BUT THEN , after I am sitting there even more heartbroken after finding this , the computer guy makes a PASS at me, taking my upper arm so his fingers brush the side of my breast!!!         OK so in the last couple of months I have started to feel what I have to call fear now.    

Tigiboule Tigiboule
1 Response May 14, 2012

my boyfriend had a collection that even surprised the computer guy.