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I Know It's Irrational But...

I don't know when my fear started but I've had it a long time, and I don't remember not having it. I hate when people touch my belly button, I can't stand when people touch their own, or talk about touching it. My ex-boyfriend was convinced he was going to cure me of my fake fear, even though I know it's real. I know that it's not a very rational fear but I can't get over it. He put his finger in my belly button telling me that facing my fear was the only way to cure me, but it's only made it worse and really just traumatized me. I had a dream once that I was growing belly buttons all over my body, this was a few years ago and still affects me today.

I'm not sure why I have this fear, I think I'm afraid that if someone touches my belly button they'll touch my insides, or that my insides will fall out because of my belly button. I've been trying to help myself with this fear, and I've reached the point where I can touch my own belly button. My boyfriend likes to kiss around my belly button, and though I whimper with fear when he does it I'm trying to relax so I don't do that anymore.

Sometimes I wish I were Kyle XY or that supermodel with no belly button. That would be super cool and probably solve all my problems, but then I wouldn't have the fear in the first place and I'd wonder why the eff I wasn't born with one. The end.

twjerricas twjerricas 16-17 2 Responses Nov 28, 2010

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I know how you feel

I am sorry to intrude, but I think your boyfriend needs to respect you & listen to you more instead of trying to 'cure' you. Phobias cannot be explained away with logic or alleviated with deliberate exposure/trauma, or we would've been cured ages ago! Does he know of your fear when he kisses around it? If so, why is he tarnishing an otherwise sweet experience? I told everyone I dated that I would leave them if they touched my belly button. I was dead serious & they respected that, so very quickly after it was addressed, it was no longer an issue spoken about but remembered well. My only worry now is about the future, if i were to ever become pregnant. Would my navel pop out as those on some pregnant women i have seen? Cringe.