Tired Of Saying 'goodbye'

From as early as I could remember, I've known death. I never thought it was odd until a friend of mine told me she was 18 years old when she attended her first funeral. It seems as though the ones that I allowed to get the closest were the first to depart. I've experienced far too much death at an early age. I believe that's where my fear comes from. Though I don't fear my own death, I fear saying goodbye to yet another love of my life. I've lost friends/family to old age, sickness, accidents and murder. A part of me dies each time I have to say goodbye. I am tired of it, and it terrifies me to think of who might be next. It's a horrible feeling to know those who you love and cherish so dearly may be here one minute and gone the next. Been there, done that, more times than I care to remember.