Sometimes

Even though my mother and I are nothing like each other and have had our share of misunderstandings, I still love her to death and I wouldn't know what I'd do without her. I still live with my parents, they're still happily married and I can't imagine life without either one of them. Somehow though, I have the distinct feeling that it would be best if my father died before my mother. You see, my father is a lot like me. He doesn't really know how to deal with tragedy. He is prone to depression and my mother is the only reason he ever lived past 30. I don't think he could live without her.

My mother is a very practical person. She's always searching for solutions, she doesn't get absorbed in negative emotions easily. That's why I think she might survive without my father. He needs her, and I need her. It's only now that I'm starting to mature a little that I realize how much I can still learn from her. She's feminine, practical, efficient. I am none of these things, even though I'd like to be.
She has always been the one person who brought warmth and happiness into our home, even when times were bad, money was tight and my father was in one of his deep depression pits. She worked like a horse to provide for me and my younger brother when my father was unable to, and now that he's recovered and started a succesful business, she still finds ways to show the world how tough she can be. She's an incredibly strong person and I admire her endlessly.

Luckily, she married very young at 22 and had me two years later. She's only 44, so she should have a lot of years left. But even though the moment of her death is probably still very far into the future, I'm afraid of it. I really can't imagine a world without her.