Can't Stop Thinking

Lately I've had this urge to curl into a ball and suck my thumb. I wish I could go back, fight harder, be stronger. There are so many things I wish I could change. But I'm stuck inside my head and there are iron bars in here that never let me go. I think about revenge and old wounds that still haven't scabbed over. I think about the person I wish I could be. I think about the universe and wonder what the reason for all this is. I have the same song playing over and over in my head, like annoying elevator music. Sometimes I get this chill and it's like when someone comes up behind u and slides an ice cube down your spine - this sick, shuddery pleasure twitching between my shoulder blades. And all I can do is lay in bed and stare at my ceiling and think about how much I hate the color white.
DiaryofaDeadgirl DiaryofaDeadgirl
18-21, F
2 Responses Apr 8, 2010

Ever heard French elevator music? Ugh! Painful.

hey dead girl! except for snow, i hate white, too. and guess what? it's my last name! and you<br />
should think about who you're gonna be. the reason for all this right now is you and me. i<br />
don't have all the answers and i'm glad i don't. then i couldn't reach out to someone. i could<br />
really use some tlc myself, but i'm reaching out to you to let you know that i have chills, too.<br />
sometimes i like it.... elevator music's not so bad either.....