I Am So Damn Stupid! I So Hate Myself!!!!my friend arranged a date for me a couple of days ago, i have clearly mentioned to her that i am not really looking for fun, and if i am to go for a date, i would want a decent guy, one who's looking for a real relationship, and not just for fun.
and so, last Thursday, i went on a date with this stranger. He's polish/german, same age as mine, kinda cute and cool, and decent, very gentleman, and i think honest enough to tell me that he is living in with his gf for 6 months, the girl just broke up with him a couple of days ago and that night, the girl was actually moving out from his apartment.
it really seemed he liked me, he wouldn't prolly wanna spend more time with me i guess and wouldn't be interested to know what i am looking for in a guy, and what my expectations are, if he doesn't. we enjoyed talking, laughing and telling stories about ourselves.
It was very cold that night, and he didn't bring his jacket so we decided to go somewhere warm and more private. So we got ourselves a room in a nice hotel and continue talking and drinking.
Unfortunately, we went out of control, and i let him kissed me, until we went further and something happened to us. I told him it isn't right, and yet we still let it happened. We cuddled, and kiss the whole night, and then the next morning when he's dropping me off to my home, he told me that the girl has texted him that the girl is not moving. he told me tho that he will deal with it and and he will call me the next day.
Until now he hasn't called me yet... They probably have gotten back together by now.
I felt bad about it, and i feel so stupid why i let it happened. I feel that he might have used me as his revenge to his girl... should i call him?? or text him? or i just let it pass and just forget about it?? I so hate myself!!!
chrissySerimoh 26-30, F 8 Responses 1 Feb 12, 2011